Barstool Sports

Daily Mail – Over the past few years, Japanese consumers have, as in markets the world over, abandoned their old phones for newer, shinier smartphones like the iPhone. But one particular demographic subset have remained faithful to their old flip phones – and, ironically, it’s Japan’s philanderers.  Those who like to play away are snared in an enduring love affair with one particular series of Fujitsu mobiles which feature a range of privacy features to hide calls and texts.  Fujitsu’s F-06D, in ‘Innocent White’: The F-series range of Fujitsu smartphones has been dubbed the ‘infidelity phone’ for a range of features that love cheats use to hide their affairs

Fujitsu’s ageing F-Series flip phones – nicknamed the ‘uwaki keitai’ of ‘infidelity phone’ – are the mobiles of choice for customers who believe newer versions are not as discreet at hiding their affairs.  They feature a nearly invisible ‘privacy mode’ that hides missed calls, emails and texts from any contacts that are designated as private.  The only indication that such a person has got in touch is a subtle change in the colour of shape of how the battery level icon of the network signal antenna bars are shown.  A secret combination of keys is needed to turn off the privacy mode, revealing the concealed calls and messages and making voicemail available.

A Japanese pick-up artist and blogger who goes by the name Bakanabe, said he uses the phone because women he’s seeing might try to check his phone for strange calls or emails when he’s not around.  ’With Fujitsu’s “privacy mode”, they can’t see that information at all. The key is to give off the impression that you’re not locking your phone at all,’ he told the Wall Street Journal.

Christ as if we didn’t have enough to worry about with China.  Dominating us in math, science, overall education, technology, economy.  Practically hours away from invading us and enslaving our asses it feels like.  Seemed like the only thing we had to hold on to was that we still dominated women.  Well don’t look now but here come the Japanese picking up the Asian slack in that department.  Seriously Infidelity Phones?  Using 3 year old flip phones that chicks don’t even know how to open let alone check your shady sexts?  Genius.  No man in America could do that shit.  Way too worried about being up on tech and fitting in and having the newest and greatest smartphone in our pocket.  Going to take a shit and coming back to find out your wife or girlfriend who also has the same phone has 150 texts, full Gchat history, and 4 dick pics pulled up asking you to explain as she loads her handgun. Nope not these Jap bastards fucking whoever they please whenever they please to fuck.  I’m telling you it’s either China crossing the Eastern seaboard or Pearl Harbor part 2 any day now.

PS-  I know a lot of people are thinking there’s an obvious downside to this plan.  The fact that just having a Fujitsu phone is a big enough warning sign to make your life hell with your wife.  Kind of like having a password lock on your iPhone while in a serious relationship.  Only one reason you got that.  But what you’re forgetting is this is Japan where I’m pretty sure questioning your man’s honor is like automatic seppuku or public beheading or something.  So they’re good.