Geekosystem – Ireland, it would seem, has officially decided to just start living up to all the ugliest stereotypes the rest of the world has about it. Exhibit A: The local council for Kerry County in south-west Ireland has approved a measure that would allow police to issue permits to people living in rural areas that would allow them to drive drunk legally. The new rule was proposed by council member Danny Healy-Rae, who we hope to God was drunk when he came up with this idea, if only because the other option is him being stupid all the time. The BBC reports that Healy-Rae, who had the truly surprising grace and good sense to stop his speech before suggesting that some folks might drive better when they’ve had a couple, brought the motion up for a vote toward the end of a council meeting from which more than a dozen voting members had already departed, and it passed with just five votes for to three against, with the seven remaining members abstaining. And it’s just a coincidence, surely, that most of the ‘Yea’ votes came from council members who, like Healy-Rae, also just happen to own bars.
Listen I hate drunk drivers. Anyone who gets behind the wheel of a car smashed with no regard for human life around them is as big a scumbag as there is. No excuse for jumping in a gigantic hunk of metal and speeding it around at 60 mph with families on the road when you’re blacked out. Having said that I’m pretty sure it’s like a known scientific fact that you’re a 150% better driver with a little bit of a buzz on? Like when you’re right at the line where you know you’re not too hammered, but you’re definitely above the legal limit and will get locked up on a Breathalyzer. That’s when you’re at your best on the roadways. Only time in your life you’ll ever have your hands at 10-2. Eyes wide open practically popping out of your head. Going 5 MPH under the speed limit. No radio. No phone. No distractions. Just straight staring at the road ahead of you with a heightened awareness to the max. Sounds like everything they teach you in a driving test except you just happen to be a little banged up and hungrier and hornier. I mean what’s the law? .04 BAC? What’s that like 3 beers? Sounds like a pussy night out to me. Bottom line is if you are a good enough citizen to qualify for one of these permits and have enough common sense to know what your limit to driving is all I see is this increasing the safety of the highways by tenfold at the least. Ireland’s on to something here.