Barstool Sports

The Crimson – It started last October with a meal in Currier dining hall with a handful of friends who shared something in common: an affinity for kinky sex.  More than a year after the group first began informally meeting over meals to discuss issues and topics relating to kinky sex, Harvard College Munch has grown from seven to about 20 members and is one of 15 student organization that will be approved by the Committee on Student Life this Friday.  Michael, who was granted anonymity by The Crimson to protect his privacy, is the founder of Munch, an informal lunch or dinner meeting for people across the kink community.  For him, the recognition will provide a sense of ease for current and future members, knowing they are receiving institutional support.  “It’s a little hyperbolic for me to get teary-eyed and paternal about sophomores, but it’s really a joy to see the experience they will have now,” Michael said.  Michael said there are many benefits to being officially recognized on campus such as being able to poster for events and promote Munch’s presence.  “If you come to campus and you have the sexual interests we represent, you may not even suspect that such a group exists,” Michael said.

So this is like the big news floating around Harvard right now.  BDSM student group finally approved and allowed to be on campus.  Just visions of dominatrix clad in full body latex suits walking around the quad slapping naked gagged freshmen with leather whips and shit.  Sophomores handcuffed to the pillars of Massachusetts Hall getting disciplined by caning.   Absolute sadomasochistic sexual mayhem.  Wait what’s that?  It’s an “informal brunch for people to share their ideas?”  Jesus leave it to Harvard to pussify and nerdify BDSM.      I mean do these geeks even know what BDSM is?  Ever read 50 Shades of Grey?  Do they sit around discussing their feelings and talking about their joy of recognition?    No they bust out the tapegags and Wartenberg Wheels and start sexually brutalizing motherfuckers.  Grow up Munch.    Seriously somebody tell this pussy Michael to stop crying and make him sign his slave contract then get hot wax dumped on his back. No safe words for you nerd.  Let’s get this BDSM show started.  Bring out the Gimp.