Barstool Sports

Damned alligator BIT my hand off!

ABC – A Florida airboat captain whose hand was bitten off by a 9-foot alligator faces charges of feeding of the animal. Collier County Jail records show 63-year-old Wallace Weatherholt was charged Friday with unlawful feeding of an alligator and later posted $1,000 bond. His next court date is Aug. 22.   Weatherholt was attacked on June 12th as he was giving an Indiana family a tour of the Everglades. The family said Weatherholt hung a fish over the side of the boat and had his hand at the water’s surface when the alligator attacked. Wildlife officers tracked and euthanized the gator. Weatherholt’s hand was found but could not be reattached. A criminal investigation followed. Feeding alligators is a second-degree misdemeanor.

When it rains it pours huh?   I mean a lot of times getting your hand ripped off your arm by an alligator during an airboat run is the worst thing that will happen to you on a given day.  Just laying on the ground twitching from shock as your stump bleeds out all over the floor.  Nope not for old Wallace Weatherholt who promptly got a pair of cuffs slapped on his wrists wrist for feeding the alligators with his body.  Shit will ruin your day 100 times out of 100.  I mean I like to consider myself an optimist but even I think it’s tough to find the bright side in this situation.   On the one hand you got arrested and face felony charges for feeding alligators with one of your limbs.   On the other hand…oops you don’t have one.  Fucking sucks bro.  Damned alligator just POPPED up, cut you off in your prime.