Barstool Sports

The Daily Mail: They eventually did it after a lot of huffing and puffing, but it wasn’t exactly up there with the Wright Brothers’ success. University of Maryland engineering students believe they have captured a world record for the first human-powered helicopter flight with a female pilot. Biology student Judy Wexler, 24, pedalled furiously and managed to get their craft ‘Gamera’ up in the air in College Park on Thursday – but only for four seconds.  ‘It was beautiful,’ Brandon Bush, 29, a doctoral student and project manager said. ‘It jumped up, and it stayed there,’ he told the Washington Post. However they fell short of winning the $250,000 Sikorsky Award, which is run by the American Helicopter Society and was issued in 1980. The prize is for the first engineers who can build a human-powered helicopter reaching an altitude of at least three meters and hovering for at least one minute. The students’ attempt was the third known time a human-powered craft has left the ground, but nobody has yet won the prize. A Japanese team of engineers have come closest, flying their helicopter in 1994 for 19.46 seconds at a height of 8in.

Chill with the ass-kissing Brandon. The thing only had a pitiful 4-second air time and Judy is still not going to bang you. She’s probably crying in her dorm room, cursing the world and shaking her fists for embarrassing the entire female population. Seriously…4 seconds? Is that a fucking joke? I think I’ve jumped for longer than that. I’m going to go ahead and just say it so listen up ladies: Don’t be the first female to attempt something if you’re going to put out numbers like Judy.   I love being a girl and am all about all that equality hodgepodge. But when it come to stuff like this, train ladies. Train hard. This ain’t elementary school where everyone is special. This is real life and we got shit to prove. So train until the WNBA is taken seriously and Venus Williams grows a dick and when in doubt cry and blame your period.  Ain’t nothing worse than a woman trying to publicly prove a point and failing miserably. Take it from Amelia Earhart.