Barstool Sports

Local – An elderly German farmer who sowed bird seed hoping for a crop of sunflowers accidentally started his own cannabis plantation – and was mortified when police arrived to investigate. The 74-year-old Bavarian opened the door to narcotics officers on Tuesday, who told him that they had come about the cannabis he was growing on the farm – neighbours had noticed the roughly 1,000, three-metre high plants covering the field and called the police. They took the baffled farmer to the 300 square metre field in the Aschaffenburg area, and pointed out the huge crop of plants that the farmer had failed to recognise were cannabis, local paper the Express said on Wednesday. The farmer said he had wanted sunflowers, and because he did not have any seeds, had scattered handfuls of bird food across the field and hoped for the best. But as the bird food was a mix of sunflower and hemp seeds, the man never got his field full of flowers, but instead a vast stretch of leafy green plants he could not identify. “This kind of thing has never happened in the area before,” a police spokesman told The Local. “He only wanted a few nice sunflowers.”

Annnddd welcome to one of the like, 3 advantages of being elderly.   1) You don’t have to work.  2) You can be blatantly racist, sexist, misogynist, and just a downright asshole and it’s just brushed off by people because they assume you were in WW2.  3)  You can act ignorant and senile whenever you want to get out of any trouble.   Case in point this 74 year old cat who “accidentally” grew ONE THOUSAND marijuana plants in a ONE THOUSAND square foot marijuana plantation field then when he got busted just start shaking and drooling on yourself and say it was all a mistake.   Just wanted some pretty little sunflowers and somehow ended up with 1K cultivated plants of fuckin Strawberry Kush and Sour Diesel.   Yeah I bet pal.   You may be knocking your old man game out the park with these moron German cops but you got to wake up pretttttayyy early in the in the morning to convince me you’re not like the Bavarian Walter White of weed distribution.