Barstool Sports

If this showed up naked to clean my apartment I’d move out

MSNBC - A maid service in Texas is offering something a little more than just a clean house: nude maids. Fantasy Maid Service of Lubbock bills itself as offering “nude or topless maid service.” It charges $100 a hour for one maid and $150 an hour for two. (“We also do parties!” It recommends hiring at least two maids for that.) It also prominently crows about offering discounts for the police. (“Ask about our law enforcement discount!”) Which is probably a good thing because, as the Associated Press reported, police in Lubbock are keeping close tabs on the business. Police Sgt. Jonathan Stewart told the AP that Fantasy Maid Service does not have a permit to operate a sexually oriented business in the staunchly conservative city and could get a $2,000 fine for any violations. Fantasy Maid Service takes great pains on its website to make it clear that it “is not a sexually oriented business.” “DO NOT ATTEMPT TO SOLICIT A MAID FOR SEXUAL SERVICES,” the website states, in ALL CAPS, so that you can’t miss it.

Wait you can’t bang the maids?  What the fuck?  You just hire them to clean naked?  Whose fantasy is that?  That’s is easily the biggest rip off I’ve ever heard of in my entire life.  100 bucks an hour for a naked chick to clean your shit up.  Not even a money back guarantee if they show up totally busted.  No special rates for like A cups vs. D cups. No promise of a shaved box.   What a crock.   The fuck do I care if a maid is naked while she’s cleaning?  Put a burka on for all I care.  Just get all the fucking dust off my desk.

PS-  You think everything goes with naked.  When  you clean there are thousands of unseen muscles that suddenly spring into action.  It’s like watching that fat guy catch a cannonball in the stomach in slow motion.  The thing you don’t realize is there’s good naked and bad naked.  Naked hair brushing – good.  Naked cleaning – bad.