The Dagger – We’ve all seen those wacky half-court shots where some poor schlub from the crowd tries to win an amazing prize, but more often than not the ball completely misses the backboard or even fails to reach the rim. When a shot goes in? Well, friends, there’s nothing better. And when said shot might not really count? Well, there’s nothing worse.
Our scene: Webster Bank Arena in Bridgeport, Conn., where Fairfield was playing Loyola (Md.). Fairfield fan John Queenan won the opportunity to sink a half-court shot for a free car from the Tri-State Chevy dealers. He gripped the ball, took a hop-step forward, and BOOM, bucket! Free car, right? Not so fast. Queenan didn’t immediately win his car, and not just because he didn’t call glass before banking his shot off the backboard. If you Zapruder this film, it sure looks like his foot went over the imaginary half-court line, which in theory would negate the shot.
Fortunately for Queenan, the local Chevy dealers stepped up and didn’t wait for the insurance company to render its verdict before giving him the car. “It was the right thing to do,” said Leo Karl, president of Karl Chevrolet in New Canaan. “We decided to award him the car regardless of what the insurance company does.”
I don’t get what everyone is complaining about. Or why the car company said it was the right thing to do. Umm no it’s not. His foot was on the line. That’s not a halfcourt shot. I mean he’s like a full half foot over. That’s basically a glorified 3 pointer. Do you get 3 points if your foot is half over the 3 point line? No you don’t. Just like you don’t get a free Chevy when your foot’s over the halfcourt line for the halftime halfcourt shot challenge. It’s just basic rulebook stuff really. But yeah let’s just say fuck it and give everybody who cheats whatever they want because fuck those insurance assholes who don’t like paying out to cheaters. Pussification of America, ground zero = Fairfield.