Huff Po – Now you can take out an international terror suspect without breaking the bank — or going to Pakistan. It was only a matter of time before someone started hosting reenactments of the Osama Bin Laden raid, conducted more than a year ago. For only $325 and a trip to Minnesota, you can join an elite team of Navy SEALs for a day and tell all your buddies that you were the one who killed the al-Qaeda leader. Sealed Minds, a gun-safety and defense instruction center in New Hope, recently opened a 10,000-square-foot studio for the live role-playing game, according to Minnesota Public Radio. Participants — of which there have been 137 so far — use high-end paintball guns to mow down a guy wearing a robe and beard, after a mission briefing from a former Navy SEAL, The Atlantic reports. They’ll creep around the reenactment facility, get live-fire practice and plenty of hype from instructors. The moment when you meet Bin Laden is supposed to be intense, according to the company’s Facebook page. Take it from Madeleine Baran: “All of a sudden, there was Bin Laden, ten feet away, screaming. He held a gun in each hand and immediately started firing. Patnaik panicked and started screaming, too. She managed to get off a few shots, and Bin Laden slumped to the ground. His robe and turban were covered in blue splotches from Patnaik’s paintball gun.”
I’m not even joking I’m seriously considering doing this next week. Like I am looking up flights to Minnesota to meet up with this Navy SEAL and shoot some terrorists in the fucking face with paint as we speak. I mean this is like my dream. I want to be in the CIA or SEALS so fucking bad. Only problem is 1) I’m out of shape 2) Not smart enough 3) Not tough enough by a factor of 10 billion 4) Won’t jump out of planes 5) Am a pussy. Boom all things solved by a fake fantasy raid in this bro’s basement in Minnesota. Like you know how when dudes get old they start signing up for those “fantasy camp” things where they can like play second base for the Yankees for a day or take jumpers against the Knicks or shoot some pucks at MSG for $20,000? Tell me a real life re-enactment of murdering a scumbag terrorist isn’t 500X better than that. You can’t. It’s fucking prime time.