Barstool Sports

WIRED – This week Tyler, Texas is the site of a remarkable battle over the history of the World Wide Web—a trial that could affect the future of e-commerce. The federal courthouse downtown is packed to the brim with dozens of lawyers, representing the world’s biggest internet companies, including Yahoo, Amazon, Google and YouTube. Michael Doyle, a low-profile Chicago biologist, claims that it was actually he and two co-inventors who invented—and patented— the “interactive web” before anyone else, while they were employed by the University of California back in 1993. Doyle argues that a program he created at UC’s San Francisco campus, which allowed doctors to view embryos over the nascent World Wide Web, was the first program that allowed users to interact with images inside of a web browser window. The defendants hotly contest that, saying that it was programs like Pei-Yuan Wei’s pioneering Viola that first offered this functionality. Today, Doyle and his lawyers say he’s owed royalty payments for the use of a stunning array of modern web technologies. Watching online video, having a “search suggestion” pop up in a search bar, or even rotating an image of a sweater you might want to buy on an online shopping site—all are said to infringe on the idea-space of Doyle and his company, Eolas Technologies.

Wait is that the real picture this dude submitted?  Like is that his patent claim that he invented the internet?  Hmm looks pretty air tight to me.  I mean that basically describes the internet to a T and if it’s clearly dated 1993 then I don’t see how you could argue against it.   Al Gore is officially a fraud.  Michael Doyle invented the internet, Google, Youtube, Yahoo, Amazon, searching for shit, pop ups, rotating pictures, online videos, and basically computers.  Case closed.

In all seriousness though I LOVE this dude’s style.  Love the whole cut of his jib.    Go big or go home is basically the motto I live my life by and nobody has even gone bigger than Michael Doyle.  Think you invented the internet?  Don’t just sue Internet Explorer.  Sue every website on the face of the Earth for 100 qatrillion dollars and draw up diagrams in Microsoft Paint to back it all up.  Ruthless.

PS-  Hey check it out I invented the internet too. 

Oh and the iPod.  I cannot fucking wait to be rich.