Barstool Sports

LOS ANGELES (KTLA) — A man wearing a bullet-proof vest was arrested at LAX after customs agents found a smoke grenade, a gas mask and body bags in his luggage. Yongda Huang Harris, 28, had just arrived on a flight from Japan when he was referred for secondary inspection after customs officers noticed he was wearing a bulletproof vest and flame retardant pants. According to Homeland Security, Harris’ luggage contained a pyrotechnic smoke grenade, three leather-coated billy clubs, a collapsible baton, various knives and a hatchet. He also had a full-face respirator, body bags, a biohazard suit, handcuffs, leg irons and a device to repel dogs. Officials say Harris, who makes his permanent home in Boston, has been living and working recently in Japan.  Harris is now charged in a criminal complaint with one count of transporting hazardous materials. The charge carries a maximum penalty of up to five years in prison.

I’m so intrigued by this bro Yongda.  I mean this wasn’t some guy trying to sneak a knife through the X ray machine by sticking it between 4 sweaters or something.  Dude was armed to the teeth.  Had a cache of weapons ready to go to war with the Eastern seaboard.  Didn’t seem too concerned with getting caught either.  Takes a certain breed of insanity to stroll up to customs completely oblivious that you’re looking to declare 100 hatchets and a biohazard suit.

More importantly got to love the American justice system at work on that this too eh? Dude’s got enough shit in his backpack to invade Afghanistan and he’s looking at 2 years with good behavior. Essentially gave him a minor in possession ticket. If you don’t think that guy is gonna sit and stew in prison then come out hating America more than ever then you’ve got another thing coming. Gonna make James Holmes look as playful as the dancing bucket of popcorn on the opening credits. Just hope I’m not within a hundred mile radius when his stint is up.  Gonna need the Avengers to stop him.

PS-  US airport security might be a little over the top strict but Japan could probably step their shit up at least a little bit.