You know what I’ve slowly started to realize, bikers are some of the sneaky biggest hardos out right now. Just hard to the bone and not giving a fuck. Getting all pissed when you don’t share the road and shit. Strapped up in aerodynamic helmets and skin tight spandex with their cock outlines out in full force like they’re Lance Armstrong or something. Heads tucked in and legs pumping like they’re on the home stretch of the Tour De France when they’re really just overweight middle aged bros on a Saturday morning. Cross state lines and set up sting operations and citizen’s arrest takedowns all because some bully stole their Huffy like it was recess all over again. I’d complain about how annoying it all is if it wasn’t so fucking entertaining. Do you bike bro. Do you. Shit if somebody stole my Mongoose Tech back in the day I’d be fucking bullshit.

















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