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NY Post - A Brooklyn man faked his own kidnapping because he was terrified of his lover’s wrath.  Rahmell Pettway, 36, told cops he spent two weeks away from his Bedford-Stuyvesant home — and then staged the crime to explain his absence to his girlfriend.  But his poorly executed plan unraveled when the cops who found him hog-tied in the street noticed the roll of duct tape still dangling from his wrists.  “He’s a total moron,” said one law-enforcement source. “It was a pathetic attempt to pull the wool [over] her eyes.”

Pettway was first discovered by a passerby at 1:10 a.m. Thursday between two cars on Macon Street.  His hands, legs and mouth were covered with duct tape and the rogue Romeo looked beaten up, complaining about pain in his ribs.  He initially “couldn’t recall” what had happened, but later told police two men in a light-blue minivan abducted him on Feb. 19 near Bainbridge Street and Reid Avenue.  He claimed his captors covered his eyes and hauled him to parts unknown before dumping him on Macon Street near Malcolm X Boulevard weeks later.  But authorities grew suspicious of his account, and Pettway soon confessed to the hoax, saying he had gone AWOL for a couple of weeks and was terrified of facing his significant other.

Residents said about 10 cops patrolled and taped off the area a day after the faker was first found.  “The officers were asking him, ‘Are you OK? Are you OK?’ ” said Lisa, 29, who lives across the street from the bogus scene, and who was shocked to hear his kidnapping was all a maneuver to avoid the woman in his life.  “That’s something very sick,” she said. “Just be a man and face the consequence.”

Am I Ok?  Am I ok?  No I’m not fucking ok you idiot.  Do you know what my girlfriend is going to do to me when she sees me after I disappeared for 2 weeks?  Have you ever even been in a relationship you good samaritan fuckhead?  Yeah, I’ll be OK if you get outta here and stop blowing my fake kidnapping scheme.   Seriously I love all these people telling him be a man, face the consequences, stop trying to hide from it.  Umm why?  Why the fuck would you willingly walk into an ass beating the likes of which a significant other has never seen?  Why not try your best to skate out of it?  If anything you’d think the chick could appreciate it a little bit. Like the dude cares so much about you and your feelings that he was willing to kick the shit out of himself and gag himself with duct tape and play in traffic just to try and avoid upsetting you.  Should be getting a blowjob while you ice his ribs for him not hauled to the police station getting hammered from all angles.  So he disappeared for 2 weeks, so what.  Everyone needs a break.  Not everyone is willing to kidnap themselves and get beaten up with self inflicted punches to try to make up for it.