Barstool Sports

Normally try to keep the news section short but this one bears reading in its entirety:

Dacula - Gwinnett County Police were dispatched to El Jinete on Liam Avenue at approximately 7:14 p.m. on Dec. 1 after the manager called to advise a woman, later identified as Jana Lawrence, 46, of Dacula, had exposed herself to his customers. The responding officer arrived at the scene in time to see Lawrence being escorted out of nearby Friends Sports Grill.

Lawrence reportedly told the officer she had recently been released from prison and had been watching the UGA game at another restaurant. Lawrence allegedly insisted she did not know why the police officer wanted to speak with her. The officer subsequently spoke with the manager at El Jinete who explained that Lawrence began yelling and using profanities while at the bar. The manager told police Lawrence exposed her breasts to other customers and licked one of the female customers. The female customer confirmed the manager’s account of Lawrence’s behavior and said that Lawrence had been “rubbing” on her and had rubbed her genital area.

Lawrence eventually left El Jinete and walked next door to Friends. The manager of Friends said Lawrence was sitting at the bar with her buttocks exposed. When told she had to leave because she was exposing herself, Lawrence reportedly pulled her pants down even further. The manager further advised that Lawrence had licked one of her customers before being asked to leave.

Two men who had been seated on either side of Lawrence at the bar told police Lawrence had inappropriately touched them. One of the men said Lawrence had licked the tattoo on his arm, the other said Lawrence had “playfully rubbed her hand against his penis.” When informed she was under arrest, Lawrence reportedly replied, “What the [expletive deleted] are my charges?” The officer listed the charges and placed Lawrence in the back of the patrol car. “[Lawrence] immediately began spitting on my middle partition and striking her head against the door window,” the officer wrote in the report.

Lawrence reportedly continued to yell at the officer, repeatedly calling him derogatory terms for homosexual males and people of African-American descent. “Later during the ride [Lawrence] said that she was going to sue me because she had been to prison. [Lawrence] also said she would bury me under the jail,” the report stated. Lawrence also allegedly said she was glad to be going to jail because her husband “beats her ass” and would be unable to do so while she was incarcerated.

Once at the jail, a female deputy instructed Lawrence to stand against the intake wall to be searched. Lawrence reportedly replied by asking the deputy if she wanted a girlfriend.

Welp not much else I can add to this one.  Police report pretty much speaks for itself.  This is just what happens when you combine South + college football + championship game + alcohol.  Ex-con’s tits and ass start coming out and motherfuckers get licked.  Just how it goes.   Only thing I’m confused about is all the people complaining?  The bar owner telling her to put her asshole away.  The dudes whining she was grabbing their dicks.  The women bitching about her rubbing their vaginas.  Do you idiots not realize it’s the SEC Championship?  Bama/Georgia?    Obviously people are going to get a little too drunk and act out of character and you still go straight to the police?    Whatever happened to looking out for each other?  We live in a society you know.  If we don’t take care of our own then we’re as good as doomed,  and it doesn’t get more “our own” for the South than a drunk racist homophobic promiscuous ex-con going ham at the bar during UGA/Bama.