Barstool Sports

HuffPo - I’m lovin’ it! And I’m not sharin’ it. A Pennsylvania man was arrested on Wednesday night after he allegedly stabbed his brother several times at McDonald’s over a brownie, The Times-Tribune reported. Cops said that Erik “Eggs” Cain and his brother Gene Cain got into an argument when Gene cut the treat in half. The share tactic was apparently enough to enrage Erik, because he picked up a steak knife and allegedly slashed and stabbed Gene in the left forearm, left shoulder and right wrist.

You ever wonder how McDonalds is allowed to air the commercials they make?  Like when was the last time you saw a family of 4 dressed up nicely with their shirts tucked in sitting at a McDonald’s booth laughing and smiling and family bonding over a value meal?   Or the last time you saw a nice looking dude on a date with his nice looking girlfriend sitting at a table for 2 calling each other pet names over some nuggets and dipping sauces and sweet tea?    Ever?  False advertising like a mofo.   Bottom line is you got the misfortune of actually entering a McDonalds instead of hitting up the drive thru you know full well what you’re getting and it’s not some happy go lucky family out to a nice dinner.  It’s Eggs Cain sitting in the corner with a butcher knife looking to stab motherfuckers over brownies while the homeless dude sleeps in the corner with poop in his pants and the crackhead wanders up and down the aisles and the lonely old dude sits by the window alone sipping his 99 cent coffee.  It’s a pit of despair.  An absolutely delicious pit of despair but a pit of despair nonetheless.    I mean it’s no anomaly we have 2 blogs a day from McDonalds.  It’s no food service establishment.  It’s a mecca of mugshots and weird news and unhappiness.