WASHINGTON COUNTY, Pa. — Police said a Washington County man escaped from a holding cell at a police station Saturday afternoon and celebrated his freedom by having a beer at a nearby bar. Authorities said Timothy Bonner was being processed at the Smith Township police station on an assault charge. Police said that when officers removed his handcuffs and put him in a holding cell, Bonner knocked the cell door off its hinges and escaped from the building. Detectives said Bonner went to Bill Stewart’s house and asked to borrow shoes. “I guess they didn’t secure him,” Stewart said.
According to police, detectives found Bonner a short time later at a nearby bar having a beer. Channel 11′s Cara Sapida talked to Robert Smith, who said he bought Bonner a beer in Richy’s Bar after he told him he had just escaped from jail. “He asked me to buy him a beer, so I bought him a beer. He didn’t even get to take a drink of it before they slammed him on the bar,” Smith said. “He was only here a few minutes before police showed up.”
New rule. If you can literally rip your jail cell apart with your bare hands, you should be allowed to at least finish your draft beer at the local pub you walked to after your escape. Only fair. I mean I know this was just the police station holding cell and not like federal prison but the principle still stands. If I can make it out of my secure cell and get past the dozens of law enforcement officers who get paid to keep me off the streets, I earned a fucking brew at least. And for everyone questioning how smart it is to spend your first minutes of freedom going to the closest bar to get smashed instead of escaping remember what you learn from the movies. Best course of action is to lay low right under their noses until the manhunt blows over. Keep a low profile and try to blend in. Don’t draw attention to yourself. Unfortunately that’s where Timothy Bonner fell short sitting in a bar in a bright orange jumpsuit asking people to buy him beers because he just escaped from jail. Can’t all be perfect.
PS- Not sure what’s up with this dude’s face exactly. Looks like he’s wearing an Edgar suit that he didn’t quite stretch out all the way.
-Thanks @sobesATL for the link