Barstool Sports

HP – Be careful what you sing about — it may not come true.  Police in Port St. Lucie, Fla. said that Kirk John Tinney, 35, stood in the middle of the street on Nov. 2 at 10:45 p.m. yelling, “F-ck the police,” “F-ck those crackers,” along with other offensive words and racial slurs, according to his arrest affidavit obtained by TCPalm.  The affidavit stated Tinney yelled so loudly that lights came on in nearby houses. Officers said when they asked Tinney to go inside his house, he complied. However, he then opened the windows and began playing loud music while singing, “I ain’t going back to jail,” according to the police report.

I don’t really know if there’s anything I can add to this story.  Kirk John kind of left me no options here.  Like he took all the sarcasm and irony and used it himself.  Kind of selfish if you ask me.  Like I have a blog to run here.   I need to churn out something funny every 30-40 minutes.  I’ve got bills to pay.   And here’s Kirk John making it all about himself.    I get it Kirk, you’re from Florida, you’re weird.  Doesn’t mean you have to be such an asshole.

Sidenote, this is what I was thinking about during the entirety of election coverage Tuesday night.  People like Kirk John Tinney.  This is the guy responsible for deciding who the President of the United States is.  Him and the rest of his Florida weirdo friends.*  Combine that with Ohio and you’ve got a bunch of people I wouldn’t be comfortable standing in the same room with let alone making the biggest decision for the country.  Fucking looney tunes screaming Fuck those crackers and belting out I ain’t going back to jail at the top of his lungs setting up shop in the voter’s booth of a swing state.  Doesn’t seem right.

*(also, about 1 trillion Latinos I think had something to do with it.  But then again I’m no  Nate Silver).