Barstool Sports

UT San Diego- For those looking for the oddest assortment of aliens, robots, vampires and superheroes, Comic-Con is the place to be. This year, add something new to the mix: a horde of shuffling, moaning zombies. The Walking Dead Escape: San Diego is a new obstacle course at Petco Park that will run during this year’s Comic-Con, in conjunction with the release of issue #100 of the Eisner Award-winning The Walking Dead comic series. “Our fans have been reading about it, watching it, and now they get to live it with The Walking Dead: Escape,” series creator Robert Kirkman said in a statement. “We are literally transforming Petco Park into the early days of society’s collapse and San Diego is just the first city to fall.” The obstacle course will take place during the initial days of the apocalypse presented in the comics. Participants can choose to be a “survivor,” a “walker” (a.k.a. zombie) or a spectator. The “survivors” must try to make their way from the initiation station to the decontamination zone without being overtaken by the “walkers.” The “walkers,” in full, grisly make-up, must do anything they can to taste human flesh.

The sheer awesomeness of this almost makes me want to take back all the awful things I’ve said about the black hole of neckbearded awkwardness that is ComicCon, and you also have to give whoever is behind this credit for creating the first reason to ever go to Petco Park. I know that zombies are close to becoming the bacon of horror movies- awesome by themselves but dying a slow death by drowning in the semen produced by everyone constantly jerking off to them- but zombies don’t need lungs to breath so as far as I’m concerned, they’re still cool. You guys can have your cool little Spartan Races and show everyone how jacked and athletic you are, which is great until zombies eat you because your only strategy was running faster than the fat people. I’m glad to know there’s finally something out there where lazy people can have an outlet for their misguided priorities. It’s about time we called out everyone who they know the best strategy for surviving the zombie apocalypse. Based on the number of zombie movies I’ve watched and that one video game I’ve played, I’m definitely going to run shit. Give me a revolver and aluminum bat and get ready for humanity to be saved.