Barstool Sports

Madison – Jessie Barndt was walking to class at UW-Madison one day when she saw her destiny drive by. It was shaped like a hot dog. Barndt, 23, followed the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile to a career fair where a recruiter persuaded her to apply for a job criss-crossing the country in the driver’s seat of a 27-foot-long fiberglass hot dog. “It’s a huge deal,” said the peppy Barndt, who is from Madison and got a degree in international business and management and human resources. “Growing up with this in my backyard, you always see the Wienermobile. It’s just so exciting.”  On Friday, she graduated from Hot Dog High, a three-week boot camp where she and 11 other recent college graduates learned how to maneuver the Wienermobile, promote Oscar Mayer products and beef up on puns like “Have a bun-derful day,” and “Frank you very much.” The job is highly competitive. It turns out, everyone does wish they were an Oscar Mayer wiener — or at least they wish they could drive one. More than 1,000 college seniors from across the country apply for 12 spots each year.

Hotdoggers go through rigorous driving training where they learn to “parallel park on steroids,” said Theresa Brenner, 22, of Cincinnati.  It has its perks, of course. Passing drivers frequently honk and wave, and the hotdoggers can respond with a friendly toot of the horn to the tune of “Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener.”

Brenner, a political science major from Ohio State, said she applied and got into law school, but she decided to spend the year as a hotdogger first. It sounded too fun to pass up, she said. “When I was offered this job, I figured law school would still be there in a year,” she said.

Example #343049303 why I never want kids.   You work you entire life to save up money.  You put $200K of it into educating your kids sending them to the best school possible so they can line up the best job possible and have a chance to succeed.  They call you senior year and tell you they’re taking a job driving a hot dog mobile across the country.  But it’s ok because it has its perks like passing drivers frequently honks and waving in which case you can respond with a friendly too of the horn to the tune of “Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener.”  Hilarious.  Seriously I’d love to be a fly on the wall when that call came in to the old man.  Actually maybe I wouldn’t because live suicide isn’t really my thing.

PS – How much are you secretly wishing that law school is not, in fact, still waiting there after a year?  Got to rank right up there with most disastrous life decisions ever made.  Passing up being a lawyer to drive a wienermobile.