Barstool Sports

Cinci - Robert McDonald learned the hard way that every vote counts.   McDonald, who is known to most people as Bobby, finished in a dead heat Tuesday with Olivia Ballou for the sixth and final seat on the Walton City Council.  Each candidate captured 669 votes, but one ballot McDonald is sure would have gone his way was never cast. His wife, Katie, who works nights as a patient care assistant at Christ Hospital and is finishing nurse’s training at Gateway Community and Technical College, didn’t make it to the polls yesterday.  “If she had just been able to get in to vote, we wouldn’t be going through any of this,” McDonald said. “You never think it will come down to one vote, but I’m here to tell you that it does.”

McDonald, 27, said his wife did not want to talk about not voting.  “She feels bad enough,” McDonald said. “She worked extra hours, goes to school and we have three kids, so I don’t blame her. She woke up about ten minutes before the polls closed and asked if she should run up, but I told her I didn’t think one vote would matter.”

Over/under on this marriage is about a year tops.  I’ll hammer under.  I mean obviously every marriage eventually breeds hate and contempt but the fast forward button just got hit by old Bobby Mac and it’s moving at 6X speed.  You just don’t ignore the fact that your wife single handedly kept you from the prestigious Walton City Council.  You can’t.  I mean this guy can say all the right things if he wants.  Take all the blame.  Say she works hard and goes to nursing school and blahhhh blahhhh blahhhh.  But now in the back of his mind he’s calling her a fucking bitch and wondering what’s so hard about being a nurse that she needs extra schooling anyway.  Just take their temperature, clean their bed pan, and GET TO THE FUCKING POLLS TO VOTE FOR ME.