TNT - An “embarrassed and remorseful” Pierce County corrections officer pleaded guilty Thursday to attempted bigamy in a case that gained some notoriety because wife No. 1 learned of wife No. 2 through Facebook. Alan O’Neill, 42, received a suspended sentence from Superior Court Beverly Grant. O’Neill will be on probation for one year. The charge is a gross misdemeanor. His future employment as a county jailer remains up in the air. O’Neill is on unpaid leave. Sheriff Paul Pastor, who oversees the jail, will evaluate the results of an internal affairs investigation before deciding whether to allow O’Neill to come back to work, sheriff’s spokesman Ed Troyer said. Prosecutors charged O’Neill in March with one count of bigamy after his first wife learned of his second wife through a Facebook “people you may know” notification and alerted authorities. The second woman’s profile photo showed her and O’Neill dressed in fancy clothes and standing near a wedding cake.
Facebook is officially the biggest cockblock on the planet. Like you know when you go out and you have that one friend who just can’t help but get too drunk and obnoxious and scares off every chick in the vicinity? Keeps coming up to you when you’re chatting some girl up and starts talking about how small your dick is to try and be funny and blow up your spot? That’s Facebook. Facebook is that friend. Can’t live without him, he has his upsides, but god damn does he ruin your pussy pulling game. Just ask Alan O’Neill. Guy was in the clear smooth sailing with Wife #1 and Wife #2 when all the sudden Facebook cockblock algorithm kicks into full gear and it’s a bigamist disaster. Fucking Zuckerberg. Can we just have a place to post profiles and pictures? Nope got to have Timelines and targeted Ads and App Centers and People You May Know to destroy our marriages and send us to prison.
PS – Being Facebook friends with your illegal second wife is probably the worst move in the history of cheating. Keep that shit off the books pal.