(this is what it looks like when you masturbate)
Business Insider - A video from the Housing and Student Living Office of Brigham Young University-Idaho is using war imagery to warn students about the perils of masturbation.
The video, first posted to YouTube in December but recently found by Raw Story, is titled “Wounded on the Battlefield,” and starts with a voiceover from University President Kim B. Clark, who describes the “great war” against masturbation as a “battle” against an “enemy” that is “cruel, ruthless, and relentless.”
The first minute of the video shows footage of a young man walking to his apartment, then later staring at a computer screen. But then it takes a turn into the truly weird. “The young man is spiritually wounded on the battlefield of the great war,” Clark says, before the video transitions to show him wounded and lying on the ground in a scene reminiscent of a World War II film.
Essentially, the message of the video is that if you don’t tell your roommate to stop masturbating (or tell the university), it’s like leaving him wounded to die on the battlefield.
“In our modern society, the enemy has spread fear of getting involved when someone’s in trouble, and has fostered a social stigma against people who speak up in the face of evil,” Clark says over ominous background music. “The enemy whispers, ‘Don’t get involved. It’s not your problem.’”
Pretty sound logic here. Laying your life on the line on the field of battle to protect your country as bullets fly by your head and bombs explode nearby = quietly locking your door and throwing some Youjizz on for 4-6 minutes to rub a quick one out into a hand towel. Makes perfect sense and totally isn’t offensive to anyone like, you know, the men and women who serve. Fucking BYU (and BYU-Idaho). Who would willingly go to these places? No drinking, no fun, no sex, and letting your roommate masturbate is the equivalent to leaving him to die on the beaches of Normandy. Got it.
PS – Offensive or not would be lying if I said I couldn’t at least metaphorically relate to that screenshot above. Roommates say they’re running out to grab a bite, know you have a 5-10 minute window, not really in the mood but feel like you have to get the job done. End up lying on the floor exhausted, bruised and battered a rough 6 minutes later. Kind of on the same page with BYU Idaho on that front (pun intended).