Seattle PI- A repeat public masturbator was arrested again Wednesday after officers found him back to his old tricks outside a Columbia City pub, police said. About 3:35 p.m. Wednesday police were called about a man masturbating in an alley just south of Rainier Avenue South and South Ferdinand Street, “where officers found the 35-year-old suspect sitting on a staircase with his pants around his ankles, in the throes of self-flagellation,” department spokesman Jonah Spagenthal-Lee said. “When officers told the man to stop, he refused and said he was almost finished.” He was arrested and police spoke with witnesses, who said they had seen the suspect walking around Columbia City earlier in the day yelling and grabbing people. The man was jailed for indecent exposure and scheduled for an initial bail hearing Thursday afternoon.
When the cops find you sitting on a suitcase in an alley with your pants around your ankles and ask you to stop masturbating, the rule of thumb is generally not to ask them if you can finish. As much as blue balls suck, I would guess they probably such a lot less than having the probes of a Taser stuck in your left and right testicle. You’ve got to have a little bit of foresight in situations like this. I can understand why the guy from the article Kmarko blogged this morning would want one more J before he had to stop smoking weed because that’s the entire point of this punishment was to get him to stop smoking weed. But there is one key difference in the stories: Masturbation is legal in 48 more states than smoking weed is., and even though you can’t do either of them in public, but you can still only do one of them in jail. The first one. There’s no need to dig the hole any deeper when the guys who cockblocked you are also going to bring you to a place where you’ll have plenty of time to jerk off in the privacy of your own four man cell.
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