Barstool Sports

Gawker- Well, we now know who the sexy mystery woman Kim Jong-un was spotted with at the big Disney concert this month was: His wife, Ri Sol Ju. North Korean media confirmed Kim Jong-un was married and identified his wife for the first time today. Now the real question: Is she hot?

ESPN- The scheduled 19.45 BST kick-off was pushed back to 20.50 BST after the North Korean players noticed in the pre-match build up that their faces were being displayed on the big screens next to the South Korean flag.Once the match got under way, North Korea proved too strong for their South American opponents with a double from Song Hui Kim giving them a 2-0 win.

On the surface this seems like an obvious answer. Kim Jong-un is the head of the greatest country in the entire world and the owner of The Most Glorious Penises of All Penises. By being born he got whatever the fuck he could ever want. So it’s no wonder he scored the North Korean 10, even if she is just barely a 6 on the international scale. But the North Koreans beat a women;s soccer team from South American ending in -ia. And they set the pace of the game byprotesting for an hour after they saw a South Korean in the stand, Must have stuck out like a sore thumb. That’s a power move. But at the same time the North Korean women’s soccer team had a great incentive to win, because if they don’t they’ll be sent to do hard labor at a work camp in Siberia for the next forever years. So who should I be more impressed by?