Auburn, AL — Toni Beth Holland and Ray Sapp exchanged vows and a “War Eagle” Sunday at Toomer’s Corner. The couple of five years were married during a short ceremony shortly before 1 p.m. at the famous corner in Auburn, where hundreds of Auburn University fans — some oblivious to the small ceremony underneath the oaks — continued to roll the trees for the final time. “Since this was the last roll for Toomer’s, we just wanted to make it really special, so we knew we would remember this day,” said Holland. “This would be the best day to get married ever.”
The couple tied the knot on Holland’s 36th birthday, two days before the oaks’ scheduled removal from the corner of College Street and Magnolia Avenue. Fans gathered here after the annual A-Day game Saturday and again on Sunday to bid farewell to the oaks, which were poisoned in late 2010. The impromptu wedding was scheduled with the help of a few friends on Twitter. Holland, who will assume her husband’s surname Sapp, reached out to the webmaster of WarBlogle.com to find someone to officiate the ceremony. Two hours later, they found Cliff McCollum, who happily agreed to marry the couple. The couple met at Wise Alloys, where they still work. They did not attend Auburn University but they do attend every home football game. They plan to forgo a honeymoon so they can accumulate vacation days for their weekend trips to Auburn next fall. The couple’s immediate plans following their small ceremony Sunday? A trip to Niffer’s Place, a popular restaurant in Auburn.
At first glance, this just looks like hicks bein hicks. A couple weirdo rednecks who might be a relative or two apart and want to have their wedding while a bunch of college kids throw toilet paper all over some dying trees. Sounds like a fairytale huh? I’ll gloss over the fact that TP’ing your own campus might be the dumbest tradition in the history of college football and just get into the meat of why the guy who married Hogzilla here might be sneaky brilliant.
Let’s hit the major points:
1) Wedding date the same as the bride’s birthday. That’s killing two War Eagles with one stone right there. HUGE money saver. Like having a kid who gets born on Dec 25th. It’s one less day to remember and you’re probably just gonna put the same effort in anyway.
2) All the wedding plans went down on twitter a few days before the wedding. No giant stacks of save the dates and invitations to mail out. You don’t have to hear your fiancé bitch about how stressed she is for a whole year. A couple @s and #s and boom, you’ve got a wedding planned. Pack the truck bed full of toilet paper and Natty Light and burn rubber on your way out of the Costco parking lot.
3) This broad wants you to attend every home football game. Granted, she wants to come along for the ride. But there aren’t many diehard football fans among the women of this world. So when one forgoes her honeymoon so you can watch your god-awful team go 0-8 in the SEC, you Crisco up her fingers and squeeze a ring on one.
Is it trashy? Yeah. Will the internet judge you? Sure. But if this dude’s gonna tote Kathy Bates around for the rest of his life, he might as well save some cash and headaches over the nuptials.