MM – Fire crews were called to a hospital to cut off a sex aid after a pensioner had battled for 36 hours to remove it. Bemused surgeons asked for help when the 69-year-old turned up at North Manchester General Hospital and revealed his problem. Crews from Blackley station rushed to the ward and used a precision cutting tool to free the patient. It is understood that the pensioner was asked to sign a disclaimer before the delicate operation was carried out with medics on standby. Plans were made to use a four-inch angle grinder to remove the ring-shaped object, but eventually an air cut-off tool was selected. Cooling cream was applied to the area and the patient was asked to sign a form acknowledging he was aware of the dangers of the operation. The delicate procedure took place in the operating theatre and is understood to have taken more than an hour. It is thought firefighters involved were offered counselling following the incident.
Fucking old people. Can’t even have sex with a pussy flashlight without inconveniencing everyone around them. So typical. Trying so hard to show everyone that they’re still capable of taking care of themselves and doing normal things. Then you blink and they’re driving their truck straight through your house or getting their dick stuck in a sex toy. Unbelievable. Hey not like the hospital had any other patients to worry about or anything. Not like there wasn’t a line at the ER desk with people like bleeding out on the floor. Not like the fire crews had anything to do like you know, putting out fires. Nope let’s just all spend our entire night trying to get this Fleshlight off your cock because you couldn’t fuck it right. Get in a nursing home already you old coot. Try smashing some holes that don’t lock up on your dick and require a precision air cutting tool to saw off you elderly idiot.