My First Time Betting the Over

Well hello… I hope everybody’s life is fantastic. Mine is going swimmingly, thanks for asking. This past weekend was quite a majestic one. As you know, I drafted Xavier for my #BudLightBusters team. Thirty-two Barstool personalities drafted a team, seeded 9 or worse, that they thought had a chance to make it to the Sweet 16. Xavier was the only fucking team to make it. I’ll be God damned the Musketeers pulled it off for me. So now, I’m traveling to Vegas on Bud Light’s dime this week. Sweet 16 games, Dave’s 40th is happening, and it’s going to be an absolutely outrageous time in the worst city on earth.

The only thing I’m looking forward to is gambling on these student athletes. I’ve never gambled on sports before. Pete Rose scared the fuck out of me and to be honest I just never really thought it would be that good of a time. All those years playing on teams that were being betted on and against, I never knew which games we were gonna show up. I have no idea how somebody else could, but this past weekend I made my first bet. Guys, I bet the over. It was awesome. The best time I’ve ever had in my entire life at a sporting event. I was going nuts for both teams. Every point was a mini-stroke in a gigantic hand job that paid off in the end. Here’s a video of the event, I hope you enjoy it. There’s going to be a lot of this in Vegas and by the end of it, I’m going to have every fucking dollar that “Sin City” currently has. Cheers. Thanks for reading. Viva.

Also, I’m no betting expert, but if a guy (Number 5) screams “We’re number one” after qualifying for the Sweet 16, that team is fucked. They won their mega bowl and splooged everything they have. Baylor’s going to win by 50. Also, I know that I spelled “Screaming” wrong. Twitter doesn’t let you fix that… because Isis.

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