Man Gets 5 Years For Drunk Driving Crash That Killed His Wife While They Were Having Sex
NY Post- A judge in Florida gave a stern admonishment to a man she sentenced to five years in prison for a drunken wreck that killed his wife as they had sex, calling it one of the “most senseless, tragic acts” she had ever seen.
Notebaert… detailed the night… saying the couple started drinking from a flask of whisky they snuck into a country music concert. Then, during their ride home after the show, the couple — with Matthew Notebaert behind the wheel — pulled over and started getting intimate.
His wife was soon sitting on his lap, Notebaert said, and the next memory he had was waking up in the couple’s Chevrolet Equinox next to his wife’s body. Her head had crashed into the dashboard and windshield and she died at the scene, according to arrest reports.
The couple’s SUV had been traveling at speeds of 55 mph in a 30-mph zone and missing three warning signs of a canal ahead. The Equinox crashed into the canal so hard that it was airborne for about 30 feet, crashing into the opposite bank of the canal.
Hooooly moly. Terrible, sad story out of Florida (from 2014) but I don’t think the husband deserves all the blame here. Driving drunk is really stupid but you know what’s even stupider? Climbing onto the lap of your drunk husband and boning him while he drives. Is that something people do to spice things up? I’m a pretty basic guy. Need my sex to be stationary, on a bed or maybe the couch if there’s an important game on. Call me old-fashioned but you won’t see me jumping canals in my SUV mid-coitus anytime soon, and if you need that to get off, call Travis Pastrana.
Neighbors, at the time of the crash, said it was hard to fathom how the couple missed the signs on the dead-end street just one block away from their Loxahatchee home.
Hard to fathom how they missed the signs? Maybe it’s because they were knocking boots. I don’t know about you guys, but on the rare occasions when I’m thumping thighs with a lady, I don’t keep my head on a swivel for road signs. Not exactly a multi-tasker, which is why I heartily welcome vibrators and other machines into the field of play if she wants.
Meanwhile, some relatives of Amanda Notebaert did not mince words on what they felt was the appropriate punishment… “You had a responsibility to get your wife home safely,” said the woman’s parents, Lisa and Mike Stacey.
Yeah, but the person sitting in the passenger seat has some responsibilities too. These include: DJing, navigating, adjusting climate, and yelling “watch out for that canal!” Having sex with the driver is like the exact opposite of all those duties. I’d say both parties are responsible here.
Look, I get it–driving can be boring, and boredom can make you horny. But that’s why we have… road head! A perfectly safe alternative that lets you keep your eyes on the road. Sure, maintaining an even speed is impossible as your foot twitches like you’re having a seizure, but you’ll definitely be able to lay off the gas in time to avoid any man-made waterways. Ladies, if you’re riding shotgun, save the barneymugging for the bedroom; you’ll have your turn.