Katy Perry Pretended To Be A Severed Head At An Art Exhibit And No One Recognized Her Because Of Her Awful New Hair

Shout to Vanity Fair for getting in the prank video game. I know we as a people were unfulfilled without them saying “You know what, we’ve done so much in long form pieces and high end photography, let’s get after that obnoxious YouTuber money.” But despite this baffling content choice, I enjoyed the video mostly because it’s so awful. There wasn’t really anything funny about it and, in fact, it just made me kind of sad when several groups of people didn’t recognize Katy Perry thanks to her “I’m either trying way too hard to be stylish or a 45 year old mom who’s given up on life” hairstyle:

Screen Shot 2017-05-19 at 10.08.00 AM

But really this is more of a crucial update to me on a person who I really enjoyed the antics of for a few years. When the one dude recognized her and she was like “Lol no I’m Miley Cyrus” I kind of died inside. Do you remember this Katy Perry?

Or these ones?

And definitely this one?

Okay now I’m just in an endless loop of searching Katy Perry jiggle GIFs. But my point is: How far has Katy Perry fallen? I get she’s going to be on the American Idol reboot on ABC and is going to make shitloads of money for that, she’s rich as fuck from her previous albums and tours, she’s not exactly washed up like you might expect from a pop star who hasn’t been turning out many hits lately. But she’s just not the Katy Perry I loved any more. I miss that old Katy, big tit Katy, that talking about making out with chicks Katy. And now she’s putting her dumb lesbian haircut head on a plate for pointless prank videos instead of prancing around in colorful whorish outfits while singing euphemisms about dudes blowing loads in or around her. She’s 32, I get you can’t be the pop star chick coming painfully, blue ballishly close to showing your jugs and churning out hits forever. But it feels like false advertisement to me to continue being subjected to this Katy Perry instead of the one I once would have stabbed a man in the heart to see a nip slip from. At least keep the fucking hair.

Tangential fun fact that Robbie Fox was talking about recently: Apparently NBC had issues licensing a Johnny Cash song for the Undertaker’s entrance for a re-air they were doing of Wrestlemania a few years back so, instead, they did a hacked up version of Katy Perry’s ET for his theme music. It’s quite the cognitive dissonance.

PS few more Katy Perry GIFs. It’s for me. Not you.

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