Sox Offenders

The Angels series is firmly behind us, a fleeting memory that passed by - as the song says - like a warm summer day. The Thundersticks lay in the trunks of Angel fans cars, as deflated as their World Series dreams. The Rally Monkeys, void of post-season magic, are just another stuffed animal relegated to a shelf to gather dust. The 100-game winners are all gone fishin' or golfing or apple-picking or whatever else they do in October. The threat of Vladdy tearing a limb from someone in a Red Sox uni and sucking the marrow from the bone, gone and almost forgotten.

The ALCS brings its own challenges and potential demons. Not pinstripes, not crazy Indians, not gnats, but a new set of issues to be dealt with. Friday night, the Red Sox took the field not beneath a blanket of stars and stadium lighting but in a dome. When they look up, they saw not the sky but a series of catwalks criss-crossing above. In rules that should never have to exist, some are in play, some are not. Is there any doubt that the baseball will find said catwalks during the ALCS and create controversy?

Physical deficiencies of the Trop aside, the Red Sox will find themselves facing a new breed of fans. They are a relatively new team with a history only of failure, who have adopted the cowbell as their talisman of success. During three separate events at the park over the past couple seasons, they have given away more than 30,000 cowbells.

A little contrived, much like the Thundersticks, but original. Doesn't have the flair of say, Big Chief Boom-Boom, or our own K-Men, but it works for the Rays. And it's gotta be homicide-inducing annoying when they really get going.

On to the games and the rivalry. As Red mentioned, dust-ups are nothing new between these teams and the bad blood is there, just waiting to boil over into a full-on Warriors event. That works for me, as my "there should be fights in all sports" mentality craves the violence. The most recent chapter in the rivalry was Coco Crisp charging the mound. Now, I've watched that clip more than the FBI has watched the Zapruder film, and I think there's a little payback due. I've identified a triumvirate of douchebags that should watch their earflaps when the score gets out of hand. I take that back, Jonny Gomes will not be available for beaning, his .182 batting average kept him off the postseason roster. But cheap-shot artists Miss Crawford and Miss Iwamura, well, I wouldn't want to be you guys at the plate if Manny Delcarmen is pitching late in the game with a six-run lead.

In game one, James Shields, who ignited the brawl by hitting Coco, pitched a good game, but not good enough. Somehow, Hou-Dice-K was able to escape a first-inning, bases-loaded jam and go on to bring a no-no into the seventh. The Sox scratched out a couple runs, and Papelbon was literally untouchable in the ninth. Game one goes to the good guys.

Game two…not so much. Red is truly a better man than I am. After watching a game as painful as having your pubes plucked out one at a time before taking a rubbing-alcohol bath, Red shotguns his final Pabst, puts up a "we'll get 'em next time" post, and goes to bed. After I watch last season's ace get treated like a Catholic alter boy for five innings, I tend to run a little hot for a while. Now that I'm not redlining the blood-pressure cuff anymore, I need to lay some blame.

The game was lost for the first time when Tito sent Josh Beckett out to pitch the fifth inning. The Sox had just battled back to take the lead in the top of the inning. Anyone with one good eye and an IQ over 60 could tell Beckett had nothing last night. He'd already given up five runs in four innings - including three home runs. I contend that the only reason Francona sent him out was to let him try to limp through the fifth and qualify for the win. A blink of an eye later and the Sox were on the short end of an 8-6 score.

But the game was lost for good as soon as Tito signaled for Mike Timlin to come in. The guy has brought nothing to the table all season and has no right even being on the roster. Why is Byrd on the roster if not to give a couple innings in an extra-inning game? What should have been a commanding 2-0 ALCS lead and a good chance to not set foot in the Trop until next season is now a series tied at one. As Joe Maddon came up with his "9=8" equation, we have "50=L" going on.

As much as I'd love to complain about Tek's inability to do anything with a bat in his hands besides make an out, the offense put up eight and that should be enough to win in October. But as George Michaels pointed out, you gotta have faith. And what better man to put your faith in this season than Jon Lester. I will try to sleep well tonight with thoughts of Sagar's Technicolor dreamcoat haunting my dreams.