Sox Offenders
In the blink of an eye, the 2008 baseball season went from Spring Training in Japan to the All-Star Game in the Bronx. And just as suddenly, here we are in September. The corn getting high in the fields, the nights getting that autumn chill, and the so-called marathon has become a sprint with just twenty-something games left to play. What’s it gonna take for the boys to kick the D-Rays out of the top-spot in the AL East? Sit back, grab a plate of Labor Day leftovers, and we’ll tell you how it’s done.
More Elfin Magic
I admit it: when Dustin Pedroia put up the numbers he did in 2007 and grabbed the Rookie of the Year award, I thought it was a fluke. The guy has to spike his hair to reach five-foot-six, and he swings the bat like a kid trying to ring the bell at the strongman pole at the carnival. Christ, Ozzie Guillen called him “a jockey.” But he called him that as he was calling for an intentional walk to Pedie. Somehow he gets bat on ball and makes shit happen. He currently leads the league in batting average (.326) and runs scored (106). He’s got 15 homeruns, 16 steals and 68 RBI, and he’s made just six errors playing second base. He’s the real deal, and despite his low power numbers, there are whisperings of MVP votes.
Beardilicious
Speaking of MVP votes, let’s talk about Youk. Sure, if he was walking by on the street, mothers would cover their young children’s eyes before they fell under the spell of the magic beard. But put him in a Red Sox uni, and he gets it done, to the tune of a .318 batting average with 24 bombs and 94 RBI. He’s made just six errors total; four at first and two at third. Why the stands aren’t full of fans wearing horrendous fake “Youk” beards is a great mystery and a missed marketing opportunity.
Head-to-Head
Six games left with the Tampa Bay Rays over the next couple of weeks. There, sports fans, is where and when the division will be decided. The Rays continue to play out of their minds. Crawford and Longoria go down and the Rays don’t miss a beat. They have all the makings of the “team of destiny” for 2008. I look up and down their line-up and scrutinize their pitching staff, and I still don’t get it. The only way the Red Sox are going to win the division is to take five out of those six games, because they aren’t getting help from anyone else. Without a doubt, there will be some dust-ups and we like that.
Bullpen Man-up
It’s time. The Red Sox starters have done their job and Paps has been there to shut out the lights on the way out. Everything in between has been an adventure. Flashes of brilliance and ass-kickery one night, getting treated like a baby treats a diaper the next. September is no time to take the hill at Fenway and not have the killer instinct. Without naming names (Mike Timlin), there are a couple of guys who should not be on the playoff roster. My picks for post-season superstars are Manny Delcarmen and Justin Masterson. Bank on it.
The Tito Watch
The guy has won two World Series Championships in four years. He’s done it from the Wild Card spot and by winning the division. And still, some of his moves scare the crap out of me. During the long haul of the season, his moves generally pay off and he’s rewarded with a close-up interview with the lovely Heidi Watney. And if the move leaves a stain on the sheets, hey, it’s one game. But he’s now under the microscope of September and that “one game” can be all the difference.
Julio Lugo
When Theo picked this guy up, no doubt he had visions of Lugo being a key to winning a World Series. He was right. If Lugo stays on the DL and Jed Lowrie continues to dominate at short, the Red Sox have a very good chance at repeating. I’ve got a call in to Tonya Harding to make sure that happens.
This is it, folks, strap yourselves in because the next few weeks are going to be a wild ride. And it all comes to a close against the Yanks, who happen to be 12 games out and clinging to third place. Would we kick them while they’re down? You bet.
Somehow, Red and Denton show up every day at www.survivinggrady.com.