Sox Offenders

Did you notice anything different when you cracked your first cold one at 5:00 today? That’s right, there was still a little light left in the sky. That means the days are getting longer, Chief. Pretty soon we’ll be talking about equipment trucks rolling, pitchers and catchers reporting, then some real baseball not long after. Seems like only yesterday we were showing the Rockies what was up, doesn’t it? Anyway, it’s coming fast so we want to take a few minutes to look back at the off-season. In no particular order, we came up with five things to consider.

1.      Bud Selig’s Contract Extended. I gotta tell ya; this one caught me with my pants down. This is the same Bud Selig that all but injected Sosa and McGwire with the juice during the home run race. The same Bud Selig that let the All-Star Game end in a tie. I had been compiling a list of everyone more qualified for the Commish’s seat that was longer than PacMan Jones’ rap sheet. Aside from the obvious choice - the Gammons - I had the short list down to Jose Canseco, Ryan Seacrest, Hillary Clinton and the old dancing guy on the Six Flags commercials.

2.      Manny Getting Ripped. A few weeks ago, Peter Gammons had a chat session going on Boston.com and was answering random questions from readers. After responding to a question about Ortiz, Gammons talked about Manny:

“Manny rented a house in the Phoenix area and has become a maniacal workout warrior in Tempe Arizona at the Athletes' Performance Institute (API). From what I've heard from people at API, Manny is getting himself into phenomenal shape. And having watched those workouts, I can tell you, they are extremely difficult.”

Holy shit. Manny has more natural talent than any right-hander who swings a bat. Can you imagine him in “phenomenal shape” on top of that? I see a season full of monster moon shots and bat-flips. Oh, and maybe a triple crown.

3.      Dice-K: Year Two. Remember when Josh Beckett joined the Sox in ’06 and just had an “okay” season? When you look at the numbers, it was a lot like Dice-K’s ’07 season. Consider what the Red Sox rotation will look like if Dice-K can get used to America the way Beckett got used to the American League. The rotation will be nasty, buzz sawing through the league much like a football team just south of the city is doing. And Dice-K will be Emperor of Boston.

4.      The Mitchell Report. When all was said and done, it should have been the “Roger’s Ass Report.” Why couldn’t Jessica Alba be accused of juicing? I could listen to talk about her ass all day. But hearing what was or wasn’t injected into Rog’s butt…not cutting it. The one thing I was glad to see was that no significant members of the Red Sox were named. It would have been devastating if Papi or Bellhorn or Lowell appeared in the report. I’m still waiting for A-Rod to get called out, though. It’s gotta happen, Jose said so.

5.      Clay Buchholz Bulking Up. As if the ’08 rotation wasn’t going to be sick enough, sixth man Clay Buchholz is getting ready to step in. Nick Cafardo had this in a piece a couple of weeks ago:

When we last left Buchholz, the Soxmedical staff had shut him down in late September because his shoulder had tested for weakness and they didn't want to take any chances.

"My shoulder feels great," said Buchholz, who acknowledges he was very disappointed to learn he wouldn't be on the postseason roster. "I don't feel the fatigue anymore.

"I know what it's going to take for me to stay on the team this year. A lot of hard work and dedication goes into being prepared for 162 games, and that was my offseasonthis year, that was [what] I put all the dedication toward. I think I'm right at 191 [pounds] right now, actually. It's better than the 178 I was last year."

Oh yeah, that’s the Clay Buchholz that already has a no-hitter under his belt.

Spring is coming, fans, and the home team is ready to kick a little ass on your behalf. Hit us up over at www.survivinggrady.com for all of your 2008 Red Sox needs. New shirts on the way!