Sox Offenders

In a perfect world, the Red Sox would have swept the Yankees last weekend and began thinking about playoff rotations while Steinbrenner, Cashman and Torre attend group shock-therapy and cling to a razor-thin lead in the wild card race. But, alas, the world is far from perfect – as evidenced by the fact that Jennifer Love-Hewitt is not massaging my feet as we speak and Jim Carey still has a movie career. So here we are, 12 games left to play with a four-and-a-half game lead and a magic number of nine. Certainly, there are worse places to be - like Tampa or Baltimore or in Mike Tyson’s entourage – but we kind of wanted things wrapped up by now.

To make matters worse, Red Sox Nation was subjected to the audible torture that is Joe Morgan and Jon Miller for the series finale. In what was a classic match-up between Schill and the Rocket, and a game that actually lived up to the hype, it was all I could do not to rip my own ears off. Miller blathered on in a cartoon-like caricature of a baseball announcer, while Morgan sat quietly filling out his Yankee Fan Club Cold Circle Member application form, pausing only to ask for help spelling words longer than two letters and to profess his love for all things Jeter and A-Rod. Seemingly unbeknownst to both of them, there was a hell of a baseball game going on.

In the end, the series proved nothing. A Yankee sweep was the only chance they had for the AL East crown, other than that, the games were all but meaningless except for getting a final regular-season look at the two teams. In many respects, despite winning two-out-of-three, the Yankees still did not come up looking like the better team. Jason Giambi proved beyond any doubt that he is limited to DH duty only. His efforts at first base on Friday were like watching a monkey trying to hump a football. And what is with his constant I-just-caught-a-whiff-of-something-nasty-and-I-think-it-came-from-me facial expression? All that greasy bastard can do is hit a homer once in a while. Thank you, HGH. While Clemens did pitch a six-inning gem, the Sox treated Pettitte and Wang like a couple of piñatas, Yankee fans can’t feel great heading into October with those guys as their aces.

On the flipside, Beckett was all Cy Young, all night, on Saturday. He put an exclamation point on his win by drilling Giambi in retaliation of Youkilis being hit in the hand earlier. On Sunday, Schilling threw one bad pitch – albeit a really bad pitch and in the most critical situation – but still one bad pitch. And Friday night’s aberration aside – and that’s definitely what it was – the Sox bullpen looked superior. One good swing from Ortiz and the entire complexion of the series changes dramatically. And is there anyone, even in New York, who didn’t think it was coming? Two outs, bases-loaded in the ninth in a one-run game? That’s Big Papi time.

The 2007 Red Sox are a team to be reckoned with. The veterans come as advertised – Schilling, Lowell, Ortiz, Manny, Tek - but the story is turning toward the youth. If Pedroia isn’t voted Rookie of the Year, there better be an investigation to see if there is anyone named Bush counting votes. Delcarmen get stronger every game, and Ellsbury…what can you say? The guy can hit, he can play the field, and he can outrun his own shadow. That is a weapon more valuable than a guy named Dye.

With the rivalry hype over (the local media played this up like it was Trump versus Rosie), for the Red Sox it’s back to the business of kicking ass. With a series against Toronto, who is laying down for opposing teams faster than a fat chick on prom night, followed by a weekend in Tampa, business should be good. These are the dregs of the AL East and seeing them on the schedule elicits a Pavlov’s dog-like reaction. What did Mick say to Rocky? “You're gonna eat lightnin' and you're gonna crap thunder!” Tito should be giving that speech, because we want this done. We want well-rested pitching and healthy batters (hear that Manny?). We want confidence and arrogance. We want another 2004.