Random Thoughts
1. Nebraska coach Bill Callahan is in trouble for apparently making a throat-slashing gesture toward an official after Oklahoma scored a touchdown two weeks ago. Callahan engaged in an animated discussion with referee Steve Usechek after the touchdown. It appeared a holding penalty against Oklahoma went uncalled on the play.
I’ve been meaning to discuss the throat slashing gesture for awhile now. Somewhere along the line the throat slashing gesture has become the equivalent of killing somebody. Why do people get so worked up about it? Nobody is actually getting murdered and as far as I know I don’t think the person who is giving the gesture plans on killing anybody anytime soon. To me it’s really no different than the incomplete sign which basically just is a nicer way to say it’s over.
2. The quote of the week clearly belongs to Corey Dillon who is still all hot and bothered about the fact some media members called him old a few weeks ago. During an interview Dillon suggested that the media have Pats equipment manager Don Brocher outfit them, and then take the field to try and stop him.
“Get some equipment, and come on out. Then I’ll show you how this 31-year-old guy will bring the pain to you. And make you pay,” Dillon said. “I will make you pay. That’s my word.”
I’d love to see Ron Borges trying to fill a gap as Dillon came roaring through. I’d pay $1,000 dollars to see it.
3. If Corey Dillon had the best quote of the week than Kevin Millar had the most absurd. This is from the Boston Herald;
“The last couple of weeks of the year were a dogfight for me personally and it was a dogfight trying to play every day with these computer match-ups and all of this baloney in my eyes.”
Are you serious Kevin? Do you honestly believe that computer match-ups were the reason you weren’t playing? You don’t think it had anything to do with the fact you sucked the entire year? I don’t think Tito needed a computer to figure out that you couldn’t hit no matter who was pitching.
4. MIT is offering a class entitled “Sex and the Institute” which aims at deconstructing the popular television show Sex in the City. Students in the elective class watch a pair of half-hour episodes, each followed by a half-hour of discussion. MIT officials said the class was created this year within the women's studies department as a seminar with six credits. This sort of seems like a strange fit huh? MIT and Sex in the City? I’d be surprised if more than 10 MIT students had ever heard of this show prior to the class. And since at least 78% of the student body are still virgins (not by choice) I’m not sure how balanced the discussion can be on topics like dating and relationships.
5. The purpose of this next random thought is to help Stoolies near and far shock and amaze their friends with their college football knowledge. The next time you find yourself engaged in a debate about who is the best QB in college football feel free to drop the name Jay Cutler on somebody’s head. I know that Matt Leinhart and Brady Quinn get all the headlines, but I don’t think either of them have anything on Vandy’s QB. Cutler not only has a rocket arm and is very mobile, but his dad also has arguably the worst hair cut in America and isn’t afraid to pick fights in stands. When you put together the whole package I think he’d be the first QB I’d take in next year’s NFL draft.
6. Don’t ask me how it happened, but I somehow got caught watching Quite Frankly on ESPN the other day. Allen Iverson was the guest and he was talking about a new charity that he was starting. Iverson spent 15 minutes talking about how proud he was about this new endeavor and how it was the most important charity work he has ever been involved in. So as I listened to him go on and on about it I was naturally curious what made it so special. Here is the deal; Iverson is hosting a celebrity flag football game which will feature celebrities vs. Philadelphia cops. Okay, so far so good. But here is where I kind of lost him. Guess where the proceeds for this event are going? If you said for some sort of policeman’s fund you’d be wrong. Nope, the proceeds for this event are going to the unbelievably worthy cause of buying inmates new sneakers. Apparently the culmination of Iverson’s life’s work is to make sure that convicted felons have comfortable footwear. Only on Quite Frankly can somebody tell a story like this and get away with it.
7. This next random thought goes out to our legion of female Stoolies who are reading random thoughts. If you want to buy your man a very thoughtful and very inexpensive gift you can’t go wrong with the NFL Films CD “Power and Glory.” The First Lady surprised me with this the other day and I’m eternally grateful. As a side note, the only reason she knew I wanted it is because I spent all last week trying to figure out how to get “Autumn Wind” as the ringer on my cell phone. I still haven’t been able to figure out a way to make this happen yet, but if I ever do I feel like I’ll be unstoppable.
8. This next random thought is going to be very controversial but it has to be said. I’m sad to report that Curb Your Enthusiasm has lost its fastball. This season has been average at best. I’m not sure what happened? It reminds me of how Seinfeld went downhill after Larry David left the show. That obviously isn’t the reason here, but the bottom line is that the show simply isn’t as good as it used to be.
9. The SPORTING NEWS reports former NFL coach Jimmy Johnson submitted an audition tape for CBS' "Survivor". CBS claims to have rejected it because the show, which is taped in the summer, airs during the fall, when Johnson is on-air as a Fox- TV analyst. I’m having a hard time believing this story. Jimmy Johnson doesn’t strike me as the type of guy who would be very good at Survivor. You know that his one item that he could bring with him would be hair gel. Something tells me that if Johnson did get selected to appear on Survivor we’d have another Riddick Bowe situation on our hands. People will remember that a few years ago Riddick joined the marine core only to quit 3 days later saying he didn’t realize that it would be tough.
10. WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Pete Rose Jr., the son of the legendary baseball star, is facing drug trafficking charges, CNN has learned. The DEA says this arrest is part of a larger investigation into what it calls a major GBL trafficking organization. GBL is basically used as a steroid for baseball players. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to react to this story. I mean it’s definitely newsworthy but at the same time I’m not surprised at all. I feel like if somebody asked me to guess what career minor leaguer would get arrested for drug trafficking charges, Pete Rose Jr. would have been at the top of my list. It just fits.
11. The Colts finally beat the Pats, but let’s clear one thing up. The Colts aren’t any better than they have been the past few seasons. The reason for the difference in the outcome is that we are a totally different team (AKA: our defense sucks). It’s not a coincidence that the Colts were able to beat us at home the same year the Chargers were able to destroy us. We can’t stop the run or the pass and it really doesn’t matter who we are playing whether it be Buffalo or Indy. However, just because the Pats appear to be down doesn’t mean Indy will automatically win the Super Bowl. I’ve never agreed with the assumption that if the Colts could just get past the Patriots they’d cruise to the Super Bowl. The Colts weren’t the 2nd best team in the league last year and I don’t think they’re the best team in the league this year whether the Patriots are involved in the discussion or not. Indy still hasn’t beaten a good team this year and there are still at least 3 teams I’d pick vs. them straight up. I think SD, Pittsburgh and Carolina are all better football teams.
12. Chris “Oz” Ostreicher doesn’t know me. And theoretically he doesn’t owe me anything, but on a much higher level he does owe me something. Ostreicher told “Access Hollywood” that Tom Cruise had nothing to do with the demise of his relationship with Katie Holmes. He went on to say “I hope that she’s making decisions that are making her happy and that she doesn’t have people in her life leading her astray from what she wants and what she believes,” when asked about Holmes’ new interest in Scientology. Listen, it’s obvious that Tom Cruise has kidnapped the real Katie Holmes. You don’t go from El Presidente’s ‘Girls I’d like to take home to mom’ list to El Presidente’s ‘Dead to the Stool’ list in the course of one year without some foul play involved. If anybody can save poor Katie it is Ostreicher. What kind of man would turn his back on this situation? He owes it to himself and to the Stool to save this woman. And I’m not buying that she’s pregnant either.
13. Sticking with actors for moment, JOAQUIN PHOENIX repeatedly melted down during the media blitz for his new flick, “Walk the Line,” according to the Big Apple tabloids. In one bizarre episode, Phoenix, who portrays Johnny Cash, asked a reporter if there was a frog in his hair! “Something’s crawling out of my scalp,” he said. Joaquin’s PR gal responded to questions about Phoenix’s behavior by saying that “He’s fantastic.”
14. Jared Remy, the 27-year-old son of Red Sox broadcaster Jerry Remy, hid in his father’s Weston home Monday until police caught him and charged him with beating up his girlfriend. “He was hiding in the house, but he was located after a search,” said Waltham Detective Sgt. Tim King. Waltham police say the younger Remy was arguing with his girlfriend Monday when he grabbed her and tried to drag her to the ground. King said Remy threw a cell phone at the woman, hitting her in the stomach. “She tried to call police and he grabbed the phone away,” King said. He said Remy then grabbed his girlfriend by the hair, flung her to the floor and kicked her in the back, stomach and face. He also punched his girlfriend in the eye, King said. Remy was charged with four counts of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, assault and battery and intimidation of a witness, King said. The elder Remy, a NESN color commentator for Red Sox games, could not be reached for a comment. Police said he was not home at the time of the arrest.
Say it ain’t so Rem Dog. I feel like Jerry Remy should have no problems in his life. He just seems like a cuddly little 2nd baseman/mascot. But apparently his kid is an idiot and my moles tell me this isn’t the first time he’s been in trouble with the law. It’s bad enough to beat your girlfriend, but it doesn’t speak volumes about his intelligence level that he hid in his dad’s house.
15. While the steroid issue has been dominating MLB for the past year, no player has been at the center of more controversy than Ugeth Urbina. And we’re not talking about baseball related stuff either. We’re talking Tom Clancy, major motion picture type news. First Urbina’s mother was kidnapped in Venezuela and held for 6 million dollars ransom by drug traffickers almost a year ago. Apparently this situation was resolved because Ugeth was arrested on Tuesday for attempted murder in front of his mom’s home. Urbina and a group of men allegedly attacked five workers with machetes and poured gasoline on them in an attempt to set them on fire. Urbina's lawyer, Jose Luis Tamayo, said the pitcher was sleeping at the time of the incident and was not involved. One victim, Argenis Farias, has accused Urbina of being among the attackers. "This, of course, can in some way hurt his career as a professional ballplayer, and all will depend on the way in which he is brought before justice," defense lawyer Jose Luis Tamayo said.
I’ve got to agree with Jose Luis Tamayo here. I’d think that attempted murder by way of lighting somebody on fire can hurt your free agent status. Regardless, I think it’s time for Urbina to hang up the spikes and start writing a book. At the very least his nickname should become Ugeth “Pablo” Urbina.
16. Some interesting tidbits in a Time Asia article profiling Hideki Matsui. The first thing that took me by surprise was how Masui earned the nickname Godzilla. If you guessed it was because of his HR hitting prowess you’d be wrong. Apparently “Matsui gained the moniker "Godzilla" in high school for a severe case of adolescent acne that plagued him” during his youth. I guess this makes sense since you can still see the remnants of this acne problem on his face today. The article also goes on to reveal that Godzilla’s “only eccentricity, if it can be called that, is his extensive private library of adult videos.” Hmm, this article really painted quite a picture for us. When you get right down to it, Matsui is a zit faced geek who spends all his time watching pornos.
17. Every time I see a rumor saying that the Red Sox are pursuing Paul Konerko a little piece of me dies inside. Maybe not all of me, just a piece of my liver. Paul Konerko would be one of the worst signings in recent memory for this franchise. Don’t get me wrong, Konerko is a good baseball player but he isn’t going to be nearly worth the money it would take to get him here. The Paul Konerko frenzy reminds me of when Larry Brown won the Super Bowl MVP award with the Cowboys and got a gigantic contract because of that one game. Sure, Konerko is a more proven player than Brown but Konerko’s stock is ultra inflated right now because of his post season performance. As a side note, if the Red Sox are willing to spend unlimited amounts of money on free agents in the future then disregard this thought, but I don’t think that’s the case.
18. The Stool was dealt its most humiliating blow yesterday by Ed Berliner of CN8. El Presidente and Jamie Chisholm were scheduled to make our 2nd appearance on Sports Pulse on Wednesday, November 16th. (As a side note Jamie and I killed on our maiden appearance. It was Gold Jerry, Gold.) Anyway, I received an email from Ed yesterday saying that he had to reschedule our next appearance. Naturally I was curious who bumped us so I asked him who took our spot. And I’m embarrassed to report that it was the New England Revolution players. It’s a sad day at the Stool when soccer players are more important than us. Maybe we’re not making nearly as much progress as I thought. I mean how can we be taken seriously in this market as long as the Revolution is viewed as a better draw than us?
19. Thank you to everybody who went to Trivia Night on Wednesday at Game On. I’ll admit that it was the first time I’ve ever played trivia and I thought it was great. Hopefully everybody had a good time. I can promise that this night is going to get better every single week. I know that Budweiser is going to get involved with prizes and stuff so that should be cool. The goal is to make this a huge night. We are doing it every Wednesday Night and want to fill the joint. So if you didn’t make it last time we’ll look to see you next week at 8:00.
20. Umm, was I the only one surprised by the fact that Larry Lucchino seemed totally unapologetic in his first public statements for the fact that he ran Theo Epstein out of town? Now I understand that Lucchino probably hates Theo like poison and doesn’t ever want to speak to him again, but I thought he’d be a bit smarter when dealing with the media. Regardless if Lucchino thinks this situation is his fault he’s got to realize that every single Red Sox fan hates his guts right now. Instead of complaining like a little girl about the way the media portrayed him, he should have taken the high road like John Henry did which was telling everybody to blame him for the debacle. Instead Lucchino expressed disappointment with how he was portrayed by the media after Epstein’s exit. “I was disappointed by it and it struck me that some of the media coverage was very misleading and inaccurate,” Lucchino said. “But it is part of the job, the business we have chosen.”
“But it is part of the job, the business we have chosen”? And if he dies he dies.
21. According to the Inside Track , Drew McCourt, son of Frank and Jamie McCourt who own the L.A. Dodgers, is dating Hollywood hellcat Shannen Doherty! McCourt, 23, who moved from Boston to La-La with his family when they took possession of Derek Lowe’s new team last year, McCourt reportedly met the 34-year-old ex- “Charmed” charmer at some Hollywood soiree and was instantly smitten. “I can’t see Frank and Jamie being too thrilled about this,” said one McCourt pal. Shannen is a handful. The actress has been the toast of the tabloids since her days as Brenda Walsh on “Beverly Hills 90210.” She married her first hubby, tanman George Hamilton’s wild child Ashley Hamilton, in her bathrobe after a whirlwind, two-week romance. She’s since called it “The worst mistake of my life.” One of her ex-fiance’s sought court-ordered protection from her, claiming she pulled a gun on him and threatened to have him pummeled to a pulp. Her “90210” co-stars launched the “Dump Brenda” campaign that eventually got her fired from the teen series in 1994 and she was cut out of the season finale because she couldn’t come to an agreement with Aaron Spelling & Co
The only reason I included this random thought is because I got a kick out of the fact that Brenda Walsh’s cast mates on 90210 launched the “Dump Brenda” campaign. That’s great stuff and worth the price of admission right there. As a side note I saw a fat chick wearing a “Donna Martin Graduates” T-shirt yesterday and I laughed out loud when I saw it. I defy somebody to come up with a better T-shirt slogan than that.
22. SAO PAULO, Brazil (AP) -- Mike Tyson was questioned by police early Thursday after a television cameraman accused the former heavyweight champion of assaulting him outside a nightclub. Carlos Eduardo da Silva, a cameraman with the Brazilian television network SBT, told police Tyson pushed him and threw his camera to the ground outside the club, then removed a videotape and put it in his pocket. Police said Tyson acknowledged damaging the camera but denied pushing Silva. He was later released. The former champion has been in trouble in and out of the ring for much of his adult life. Tyson has served time for rape, bitten Evander Holyfield's ear, tried to break another fighter's arm and threatened to eat the children of former champion Lennox Lewis.
I feel like Mike Tyson’s life is turning into a bizarre version of Where’s Waldo. One second he is getting in trouble in Argentina for operating a water ski too close to shore, then he’s on the Jimmy Kimmel show singing the monster mash and then he’s assaulting a cameraman in Brazil. You just never know when and where he’ll pop up next. As a side note I don’t think it’s fair to put rape, biting Evander Holyfield’s ear, trying to break the white buffalo’s arm and the threat to eat Lennox Lewis’s children in the same sentence. I don’t think Iron Mike would have eaten Lennox’s kids had the opportunity presented itself to him.
23. JESSICA ALBA told Britain’s Zoo Magazine that she has no qualms with doing a nude scene, but her father “would lose his mind.” As the editor of a major metropolitan “smut magazine” I have some advice for Ms. Alba. She needs to tell him that she’s a 24 year old woman who can make big people decisions on her own. At least that’s what I tell upset fathers who call me when they see their daughters on the cover of the Stool. And yes we’ve had a couple of those calls so far. Regardless, if Alba does a nude scene, sign me up for the first week the DVD is released in video stores.
24. The most uplifting news of the weekend was that only one person got shot at the premiere of 50 Cent’s new movie Get Rich or Die Trying. I had the total set at 11 so this was a blowout victory for the under. The worst news of the weekend was that somehow Arrested Development has been cancelled. How the hell is this possible? This is a ringing endorsement that our country is heading down the crapper. If I didn’t have to keep the Stool in business, I’d seriously consider moving to Canada.