Random Thoughts
1. PROVINCETOWN – Police were busy last night with fourteen arrests, including one of an Orleans man accused of punching a police horse. Christopher McEnaney, 18, was arrested and charged with assault on a police horse and resisting arrest after he punched a horse from the Plymouth County Sheriff’s Office, one of the mounted patrol horses ridden during town’s raucous July 4 festivities, Provincetown police Sgt. Carrie Lopes said. McEnaney is accused of punching the horse, Fred, in the animal’s flank at about 10:20 p.m. while the mounted patrol officers were in the area of Ryder Street and Commercial Street, Lopes said. No injuries were reported to the horse.
The day they signed the Declaration of Independence John Adams wrote to his wife Abigail and said July 4th “ought to be solemnized with Pomp and Parade, with Shews, Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other from this Time forward forever more” and I think Adams would’ve been proud of Christopher McEnaney. Nothing says “freedom and independence” quite like getting hammered on Natty Lights and punching a 1,500 lb. animal. I’m pretty sure I read once that Sam Adams celebrated the 4th by getting drunk on… Sam Adams… and pimp slapping Paul Revere’s horse around. Still, given the fact this took place in Provincetown, the horse kind of got off easy. There are probably hundreds of things McEnaney could’ve done to him that were much, much worse.
2. Well boys and girls the time has finally come for the greatest Red Sox of them all to make his triumphant return to Fenway Park. And if there is any justice in this world the cheers will echo through the heavens and wake god himself from his slumber. Now I know lots of you kids out there are probably too young to remember just how great Nomar was, but in my mind he is still the best Red Sox hitter I’ve ever seen. The only way to get him out was to have him hit a line drive of somebody’s face and hope it fell into their glove. He was literally that good. It’s just a shame that Larry Lucchino ran him out of town with a smear campaign the likes of which this city has never seen. For those of you who have forgotten this is how Nomar’s greek tragedy unfolded.
In 2004 Nomar turned down a 4 year 60 million dollar offer from the Sox. Lucchino would say it was an indication Nomar didn’t want to play here and wanted to go to the West Coast. Of course that same off season Nomar bought a multi million dollar house on the North Shore which is a strange move for a guy who wasn’t planning on sticking around. The reality of the situation was Nomar loved it here and had every intention of staying, but this first offer was a lowball offer. Sure it sounds insane, but both Derek Jeter and Arod had much more lucrative deals despite the fact that Nomar had out performed both of them at that point in their careers. So instead of signing this deal he decided to roll the dice and play the 2004 season. He figured if he put up another Nomar like season he’d get a better offer from the Sox. I believe people call it negotiating. Also keep in mind we’re not talking about Pedro or Manny here. Nomar never once complained about his contract even though he was vastly underpaid. He never threatened to hold out. He never said a peep. He just played as hard as he could and did his talking in-between the white lines. Yeah I’m sure he was bummed at the lack of respect from the new ownership group but he didn’t let it affect him. Instead what effected him is what happened next.
After Nomar turned down first offer, unbeknown to him the Sox tried to trade for Alex Rodriguez to replace him at shortstop. Actually I shouldn’t say they tried to trade for Arod, they did trade for him. But the deal was nixed by Bud Selig on a technicality. How did Nomar find out about this you ask? Via Sportscenter when Kevin Millar was quoted as saying he’d rather Rodriguez than Garciaparra. Hmm, hell of a way for the new ownership group to treat the heart and soul of the franchise for the past decade don’t you think? And people wonder why he sulked that last year. How would you like it if you’d worked your ass off at a company for 10 years only to have some slick out of town used car salesman come in and stab you in the back 5 seconds after they arrived? Well that’s what happened to Nomar.
Now the next part of this saga is where people get confused and to me the most disgusting part of this whole ordeal. Nomar had a legitimate ankle injury in 04. His production tailed way off and he had to sit out a ton of games. Lucchino took this opportunity to leak to the press that Nomar wasn’t really hurt. That he was faking his injury to force his way out of town. Kind of like what Manny did. And it all culminated with that game against the Yankees when Derek Jeter dove head first into the crowd on a routine pop up. The cameras panned to Nomar sitting in the dugout and his fate was sealed. Lucchino seized the opportunity to convice the public that Nomar quit on the team and needed to be traded. It was basically his way to prevent a PR nightmare for trading the team’s and regions’ most popular player/athlete. What everybody fails to realize is that once Nomar was traded to Chicago he missed 75% of the games the rest of the season with that same supposedly fake ankle injury. And this is why the Manny comparisons are infuriating. This wasn’t a situation where suddenly the guy goes from half dead to Babe Ruth after the trade. Nomar actually played less and did worse as a Cub that year than a Red Sox. AKA - He never quit on his team. He was legitimately injured. Was he pouting? Of course. You would to if what happened to him happened to you. The bottom line is that Larry Lucchinno and the new ownership group never wanted to resign Nomar. But they knew the only way they could get rid of him was by unleashing a smear campaign that would make Hitler blush and that’s exactly what they did. From the lowball offer, to trying to trade for Arod, to saying he was faking his injury, to never making him another offer it was one thing after another. It’s the worst any athlete of his stature has ever been treated by management in this town. So in light of all that Red Sox fans would be doing a disservice of unfathomable consequences if we didn’t give him the loudest ovation in the history of Fenway Park when he is announced tonight. It’s the least we can do for a man who gave us so much and got so little in return.
3. Shreveport Times - A Connecticut girl overheard her mother’s screams during sex and thought she was being assaulted, so the 16-year-old rounded up some friends to attack the woman’s companion, police say. The girl, two boys and a 19-year-old man were arrested Tuesday and arraigned Wednesday on assault and conspiracy charges. The girl thought her mother, Melanie Arnold, was being attacked June 6, according to Arnold and Torrington police. The teens went into the bedroom and beat the mother’s 25-year-old companion with a baseball bat and punched him, police say. Roger Swanson, of Torrington, says he suffered a black eye and several bruises. Arnold denies she screamed. She told The Associated Press her daughter heard a slap and thought it was an assault.
This story makes no sense on like 10 different levels. I mean are we really supposed to believe that the daughter heard her mother getting stuffed, then rounded up a posse and still had time to come back and beat this guy up? Nobody fucks for that long right? So this had to be a set up. Obviously the daughter was sick of listening to her mom scream like a little slut every time this guy came over and plugged the shit out of her so she invited some friends over, waited for them to hook up and then ambushed the guy using the abuse thing as an excuse. And she probably would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for the fact that everybody knows if a chick can’t get off in 3 minutes you shoot your load and get out of there. It’s the proverbial smoking gun so to speak.
4. Well kudos to Danny Ainge. Just when I thought he was losing his mind with all this Rondo stuff, the Celtics go out and get Rasheed Wallace and re-establish themselves as the clear favorite to win the NBA championship. Although truth be told they were probably already the team to beat just with a healthy KG coming back, but now this makes us almost unstoppable. Because make no mistake about it adding Rasheed Wallace is a much bigger deal then the Cavs getting Shaq or Lakers getting Ron Artest. I mean look at our team now. Rondo, Pierce, Rasheed, KG , Perk , Ray, Scal and soon Grant Hill. Sure half our lineup may be senior citizens in a few years, but not next year or the year after. I guess KG’s mortal lock was right after all. We are going to win Banners 18 and 19 the next two seasons. Not to mention the fact it’s going to be a wild ride as well.
PS - I’m doing a preemptive strike on every nitwit (I’m talking to you WEEI) who complains about Rasheed Wallace camping out at the 3 pt line on offense or getting technical’s. That’s just what the guy does. He’s done it his entire career and he’s not going to change now. It’s one thing if you’re on the record as hating this acquisition right now, but I guarantee 75% of the people who loves this signing will at some point be bitching and moaning about the way he plays like they are surprised by it or something.
5. Daily News - California teacher Crystal Defanti sent her students home with a video of class memories, but the DVD contained certain “memories” that were not appropriate for the students to see, Associated Content reports. The class memories DVD contained six seconds of the teacher having sex on a couch spliced between shots of the children, students at Isabelle Jackson Elementary School in California, sharing their memories in class. The teacher learned that the sex clip had been included in the DVD when a parent called to let her know. She then called parents to alert them of the sex clip and ask them to get rid of the DVDs, the Associated Press reports. “Just destroy them,” Elk Grove Unified School District spokeswoman Torrey Johnson said of the DVDs… CBS News reports that Defanti will probably not lose her job.
It might be a holiday for most of America, but there’s never a day off for horny teachers and the bloggers who chronicle their sexcapades. At the moment we don’t have another picture of Crystal Defanti besides this pixelated mess, but something tells me we haven’t heard the last of her. The “accidentally leaked” sex tape has turned anonymous nobodies like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian into ubiquitous household names and I sure this one will launch Crystal’s Sex Scandal Teacher career as well. The only real surprise here is that she’s banging her boyfriend in the video and not one of her students. (That must be on a different disc.) Anyway, I’m setting the over/under on how many parents actually destroy the discs at .5.
6. LYNN - A wild party on Arlington Street resulted in five arrests Sunday when police discovered an out of control group reportedly throwing a going away party for a relative leaving for jail. According to a police report, Archibald approached police and said she knew that the music was too loud and that she would turn it down. After police told her that it was after 2 a.m. and that she was in violation of a noise ordinance, she turned around and walked away. While following her, Archibald, turned to police and said, “You can’t (expletive) come in here you (expletive) don’t have a warrant!” At that point, police said they could see at least 50 people in the yard, drinking alcohol from clear plastic cups, while Archibald continued to scream and yell expletives at the police. Junior Charles then approached the police, who told him that the party was over and he needed to shut the music off. He in turn yelled, “I don’t give a (expletive) what time it is, this is my house!” Officers were standing in an entrance to a gate while Archibald continued to yell. Police told her that she would be arrested for disorderly conduct if she continued to carry on on and she said, “Good, then get the (expletive) out of here” and slammed the gate shut, hitting one of the officers in the leg. At that point, more officers arrived and told the unruly crowd to disperse, but Junior and Archibald both yelled, “Nobody has to leave, these racist pigs don’t have a warrant.” William and Wesner were also placed in custody at the time, while Tamara yelled out, “I’m going to sue you, you (expletive) pigs” and was also arrested.
Listen I understand that the police have a job to do. And I understand you can’t be blasting your music at 2am in a nice quiet town like Lynn. But give me a fucking break. This wasn’t like a graduation party or some birthday party we’re talking about. This was a going off to jail party. That’s like the mother of all fucking parties. So as if Lynn doesn’t have enough problems already it looks like their police department is about to get the shit sued out of them. I mean if you’re going to let the police break up going off to jail parties you might as well just rip up the constitution and throw it out the window while you’re at it.
7. Denverpost - A 45-year-old Fort Collins mother is accused of having sex with a 16-year-old boy who also was part of a group that enjoys dressing up as animals. Richael L. Michels faces sexual assault on a child charges, according to the arrest affidavit the Fort Collins Coloradoan newspaper posted on its website. Her husband notified the Colorado Department of Human Services in May that his wife might be having an improper online relationship with a teen-aged boy, the affidavit says. He also told investigators she had “recently become involved with a group known as ‘Furries,’ who dress up like animals and have social gatherings online and in person.” Members of the group gave statements to police after the woman’s affectionate, sometimes intimate behavior with the teenager at Furries gatherings, called “furmeets.” According to the arrest affadavit, Michels is friends with the boy’s mother. The boy told investigators Michels “even made a comment about the irony of (his) mom trusting her as a mentor … and the whole time she was having sex with him.”
Over the course of the past 5 years here at the Stool we’ve talked about thousands of humiliating, degrading and embarrassing stories. But having said that none of them can hold a candle to what this poor fool of a husband had to do. I mean it’s one thing to admit that your wife is having an affair. It’s another thing to come to grips with the fact she’s cheating on you with a 16 year old boy. But to call the cops and say you’ve been cuckolded by a 16 year old furry and she cheats on you at “furmeets”? Game, set, match.
PS - For some reason the part when this lady told investigators “the irony of (his) mom trusting her as a mentor … was that she having sex with him.” reminds me of when Homer Simpson thinks out loud by accident.
8. NORFOLK, Va. (AP) — Suspended NFL Star Michael Vick is leaving a job with a Virginia construction company to work with youngsters at Boys & Girls Clubs. Steven Kast, CEO of the Boys & Girls Clubs of the Virginia Peninsula, says Vick will be working with children on health and fitness activities at several clubs in the Hampton Roads area. Vick was a regular at the Boys & Girls Club in Newport News as a youngster. Vick needed a job to meet the conditions of his probation and had been working as a $10-an-hour laborer.
Finally, after all this time, we’ve got justice in the Michael Vick saga. Because if there’s one thing Mike Vick should be doing, it isn’t lugging buckets of nails around a job site. He needs to be offering his guidance to young people. Because a man never stands so tall as when he stoops to teach a child how to run an interstate dogfighting ring. “Now remember Timmy, you have to clip the leads onto the injured dog first, THEN attached the other end to the car battery…” Maybe Vick can use his unique skill set to organize a kid fighting ring. The winning kids will learn confidence and the importance of good fitness, and the losers can be drowned or hung. And good for Vick that he’s embracing his status as a role model for the youth of America. Kids need someone they can look up to. Someone who can teach them how to achieve a passer rating of 75 or rush for 1,000 yards in a season and still have few combined yards that Tom Brady. And there’s no one more qualified than Michael Vick. He may be out tens of millions of dollars, but he’s much richer in life experiences.
9. NIWOT, Colo. — A Niwot woman accused of stabbing two men in the back early Tuesday morning was engaged in a “sexual encounter” with both of them before they started fighting, authorities said today. According to a Boulder County sheriff’s news release, Ruffin Griffin and Clint Cadigan, both 28, left a Niwot bar together and went to the house where Griffin lives with Serena M. Brooks and their 6-month-old son.”Upon arriving at the residence, the three adults engaged in a sexual encounter and a physical altercation ensued,” according to the release. The men “fell to the floor” during the fight and that’s when, sheriff’s officials allege, Brooks used a nearby knife to stab both of them “in an attempt to break up the fight.” The men then drove together to Boulder Community Hospital and were treated for serious, but not life-threatening injuries.A hospital spokeswoman said both men remained hospitalized this morning. Cadigan was in fair condition, while Griffin was in good condition.
Ah a story as old as time itself. Couple invites their buddy to have a threesome with them. They lay down the ground rules such as no kissing on the lips, no penetration, no sticking your fingers in her asshole blah, blah, blah. Basically some imaginary line in the sand that the extra guy can’t cross. But naturally once things start getting heated the extra guy breaks one of these rules and then all hell breaks loose. So this obviously raises the larger philosophical issue at hand here. Who was in the wrong? Is it the guy who broke the rule or is it the guy who expected the rule to be followed in the first place? Personally I blame the couple. Having a threesome is kind of like going to war. You can talk until you’re blue in the face about the rules of battle but once you’re out there with live bullets you do what you got to do to survive. You see an ass waving in your face and it’s kind of tough not to violate it just because of some silly agreement made in peace time. And more importantly it also reinforces why threesomes should always be 2 chicks and 1 guy. Because with two dudes not only do you risk getting dick on you, but 9 out of 10 times somebody is going to get stabbed.
10. LITCHFIELD, CT. —Connecticutpolice have arrested a teen, accusing him of selling marijuana and packing it in a Chicken McNugget box. Police said the teen and three alleged customers were nabbed after a police officer spotted some suspicious activity over the weekend. Police said the teen grew marijuana in his apartment and packaged the dope in McNugget boxes. The arrests came after one alleged customer was spotted coming out of the teen’s apartment building with the McNugget box. An officer said he found marijuana inside the box. Police said they searched the apartment and found more marijuana, a big bag of stems and drug paraphernalia. The teen pleaded not guilty to charges on Monday.
Wait a minute, was it a 6-piece, a 9-piece or a 20-piece? I mean we need to know exactly how much weed we’re talking about here. No wonder the newspaper industry is going out of business. Anyway, this kid’s got a lot of balls throwing one of the great American institutions of all time, the McNugget, under on the bus 3 days before the 4th of the July. Show some respect for your country you little fucking punk. This isn’t some Chinese sushi bullshit, it’s a box of Chicken McNuggets. Hey, why don’t you just take a dump on my Born in the USA album on Saturday night while you’re at it. How’s that sound? Do me a favor, just sell your weed out of an old shoebox like everybody else. That’s the American way.
11. News.com - MICHAEL Jackson’s death has reportedly led at least a dozen people to kill themselves worldwide while Australians seek help from a suicide prevention hotline. “It is a serious situation that these people are going through but Michael Jackson would never want this,” Mr Taylor said. “He would want them to live.” The calls came as a friend to the famous family, the Reverend Jesse Jackson, urged fans not to “self-destruct”. “This is a time when hearts are heavy,” Jackson said. “There is great pain but great cause to celebrate Michael’s life. “It made Michael happy saying ‘We Are The World’. Don’t self destruct.”
I love how everybody tries to be so politically correct with this shit. “Michael Jackson would never want this. He would want them to live…blah, blah, blah.” Well let me state this loud and clear.. If Jesse Jackson gets interviewed about how the Stoolies should stay calm and not self destruct when I die tell him to put a sock in it. Because when my number is called I want people killing the shit out of themselves the second they hear the news. Do not pass go. Do not phone a friend. Just write a note that you couldn’t take my passing and end it. I mean that’s really the only way to tell who was the most awesome here on earth. It’s not about money you made or how many chicks you banged. It’s about how many people killed themselves when you died. That’s how they decide which room to give you in heaven.
12. Boston.com - From left, Red Sox chairman Tom Werner, Henry, Sox vice chairman David Ginsberg, and nightclub owner Ed Kane stopped at a Beverly hot dog stand prior to Henry’s wedding ceremony.
With all this John Henry wedding hoopla in the news I found myself getting ready to bash him again. I was going to criticize him for playing “Shipping off to Boston” as the first song at the reception since he’s only lived here for a couple years. I was going to make fun of him for trying to keep the details of his 3rd wedding silent even though a couple months ago he did that huge spread in Boston Magazine about it. I was going to rant and rave about how he should quit acting like he’s Boston’s favorite son when he’s actually just a creepy carpetbagger. But then something changed. I saw the picture of him standing outside some hotdog joint in Beverly with his wedding party. And then it hit me. John Henry didn’t know any of these guys five years ago. Think about that for a second. That means for the first 54 years of his life he didn’t make 1 friend who he felt was close enough to be in his wedding. That’s just plain sad. Maybe now it makes more sense why he’s embraced Boston so much and tries to make it seem like he grew up here. Because it appears this is the only place he has any roots or history. And as crazy as this sounds I’m not sure I’d trade all his fame and fortune for not having any real friends. So from now on I’m going to go easy on Dr. Creepy. The guy needed a home and he found one in Boston. Good for him I guess….
13. CANTON, Ohio - The opportunity to dominate presented itself and 45 American teenagers did just that. The United States displayed the talent, skill, confidence and swagger of a champion in its 78-0 victory over France in a first-round game in the inaugural International Federation of American Football Junior World Championship tournament Saturday at Fawcett Stadium in Canton… The Americans were superior to the French in every aspect of the game — speed, size, quickness and strength. ”I don’t like games getting like that, but I don’t know how I can change that when you only have 45 guys on your squad,” said Team USA coach Chuck Kyle… USA held an advantage in several statistical categories, including total yards (610-7) and first downs (27-5).
Well thank the Good Lord the soccer is over with and we don’t have to hear about it until the next time they hold the Phallic Trophy Cup, which is what? Four years from now, hopefully? Because watching people kick a ball is adorable when it’s a bunch of 2nd and 3rd graders. But once kids get out of elementary school, you pretty much want to see them doing something that takes some skill. That requires size and strength and athleticism. So the IFAF Jr. Championships couldn’t have come at a better time. I’m guessing the high schoolers on Team USA have taken craps bigger than that guy Kaka (that’s not a pun; it’s his real name) from the Brazil soccer team. I mean, what better way to show the youth of the world how we do things in the good old US of A than strapping on the pads & helmets and introducing them to a little smashmouth courtesy of our finest red meat eating, God fearing, teacher banging, gun toting, SUV driving, rock ‘n rolling American teenagers? Those lousy French mime lovers can have their stinky cheese and pretentious cinema. They can hold their cigarettes backwards and read all the Satre they want so long as they go back to Paris and remind everyone what a good old fashioned asskicking in the greatest game ever invented feels like. And remind them too that here in the land of the home and the free of the brave, our women are so much hotter than theirs that we name our football stadiums after them.
14. Shreveporttimes - Destinie Rechelle Duvall, 37, of Willis, Texas, and her mother, Patricia Ann Hacker, 62, of Benton were charged with battery. Bossier Parish Sherriff Deputies said the duo was taken into custody after a physical altercation with each other. During the confrontation, Duvall knocked Hacker out of a chair, then kicked her in the head, causing her to lose consciousness. While Hacker was unconscious, Duvall defecated on Hacker’s back. When Hacker regained consciousness, she and Duvall began to hit each other and wrestled one another to the ground. The altercation stopped momentarily, but started again when Duvall was told to leave the residence. Duvall bit Hacker on her bottom lip, causing a one-inch cut. Hacker grabbed a steel pan and struck Duvall five times. Both women were taken to the Bossier Maximum Security Facility and booked. Their bonds are pending.
Listen if I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times. If you’re going to knock somebody unconscious and shit on their back while they’re out, be prepared to take a frying pan to the face when they wake up. It’s just common sense really. And yes this rule applies even if the person who shit on you is your daughter. Because what’s that old expression? Blood is thicker than water? Well the corollary to that is getting defecated on is thicker than blood and this story just proves it.
15. Ananova - Luxury ocean liners in Russia are offering pirate hunting cruises aboard armed private yachts off the Somali coast. Wealthy punters pay £3,500 per day to patrol the most dangerous waters in the world hoping to be attacked by raiders. When attacked, they retaliate with grenade launchers, machine guns and rocket launchers, reports Austrian business paper Wirtschaftsblatt. Passengers, who can pay an extra £5 a day for an AK-47 machine gun and £7 for 100 rounds of ammo, are also protected by a squad of ex special forces troops. The yachts travel from Djibouti in Somalia to Mombasa in Kenya. The ships deliberately cruise close to the coast at a speed of just five nautical miles in an attempt to attract the interest of pirates. “They are worse than the pirates,” said Russian yachtsman Vladimir Mironov. “At least the pirates have the decency to take hostages, these people are just paying to commit murder,” he continued.
So originally the First Lady and I were going to go Mexico for our honeymoon, but then the Swine Flu hit and since I have the worst immune system in the world we figured it would be better to cancel it than have me die. I was pretty bummed out at the time, but it turns out the Swine Flu was the best thing that could have happened to me. Because now I can book our dream Somalian Pirate Hunting Honeymoon instead. I mean how awesome is this? Yeah people can talk until their blue in the face about how awesome honeymoon sex is but I guarantee you regular honeymoon sex doesn’t hold a candle to Pirate hunting honeymoon sex. I mean there is just something magical about fucking while simultaneously throwing grenades and shooting AK 47’s at pirates. In fact I bet if you could bottle that shit you’d put Viagra out of business in a week. My only concern is that I’m not sure I qualify as a “Punter” and the trip seems kind of expensive. Oh well I guess I’ll just have to crank up the old tshirt machine…
16. LUSAKA (Reuters) - A monkey urinated on Zambian President Rupiah Banda as he spoke to journalists at a news conference on Wednesday. Banda softly shouted: “You (monkey) have urinated on my jacket,” and paused as he looked up to see the animal playing in a tree just above his chair. “Perhaps these are blessings,” he said continuing his address amid laughter from the audience of journalists and diplomats at the State House presidential offices. Several monkeys play around the grounds of Banda’s residence and his office.
Well I’m not saying I’d go out and start buying Powerball tickets if I was the Zambian president, but I’m also not saying I wouldn’t. I mean everybody knows it’s a harbinger of good fortune any time you get pissed on by a monkey. Just like it is when a bird shits on your head. Basically, any time an animal defecates on you, you know things are going in the right direction. Rumor has it Don Larsen took a Cleveland Steamer from his neighbor’s German shepherd the night before he pitched a perfect game. Don’t believe me? You could look it up. I’m just saying, if I were a venture capitalist, I’d keep my eye on the Zambian economy.. just another tip from the Stool.
17. PHOENIXVILLE, Pa. (NBC) – Michael W. Buck is accused of blasting a pornographic movie over his stereo system while kids ages two-and-a-half to 14 years old were playing outside his house. Neighborhood parents say Buck does not like children playing and riding their bikes in the cul-de-sac in which he resides. The 27-year-old’s apparent goal of directing his porn-playing television speakers out his windows was fulfilled: The parents of the neighborhood gathered their children and hurried them indoors. Then they called the police. Buck was arrested Saturday on multiple counts of corruption of minors, disseminating explicit sexual material to a minor, and one count of disorderly conduct. The parents told the police officer that they could hear “a woman vocalizing her pleasure during sexual intercourse” a little after 7 p.m. “This was being played over a stereo system,” said Barrett. “The parents stated that Buck had positioned his stereo speakers so that they were pointed out the front window of his house towards the street. One parent stated that they were one-and-a-half blocks away and could hear the woman having sex.”Police said that Buck played the pornographic movie for about 15 minutes. When all of the kids were inside their homes, he turned it off.Buck was released after posting a $5,000
What is this “stick it to the man day” here at the Stool? I mean first we get the story about the guy who got busted for selling dope on Craigslist after the cops lied to him. Then we had the dude who got in trouble for pulling a piece on a slow foursome in golf and now this. Is this what the new Obama regime is all about? Taking away the rights of the white man? I mean what was this guy supposed to do? He buys a nice home in a nice neighborhood just trying to live the American Dream and all of a sudden he’s got bratty kids screaming and making noise at all hours. I’m sure he already asked them nicely not to play in front of his house and that obviously didn’t work. So playing Porn loudly from the rooftops is the next logical step. It’s like the first page in Ghandi’s non violent protest rules of esculation handbook. And what’s up with this guy’s mugshot? I thought this was the Son of Sam at first. Fucking right wing media. Dude played a little porn. Relax.
18. Statesman - It started with an argument about how slowly three men were playing golf at the Lions Municipal Golf Course on Enfield Road. It ended with a 73-year-old man aiming a loaded pistol Monday at former Westlake High School football player Matt Nader in the golf course parking lot and claiming he was “morally obligated to destroy” him, according to court documents. According to Dailey’s arrest affidavit, Nader and two friends were playing golf when Dailey approached them at the ninth hole. The affidavit said Dailey complained that they were playing too slowly and had parked their golf cart inappropriately. The argument continued for four more holes; at the 13th hole, Dailey told Nader that he would get his gun and “make them both equal,” the affidavit said.
Hmm this is a tough one. Ordinarily you don’t like to see people pull guns on strangers and claim that they are morally obligated to destroy them. But on the otherhand slow play is slow play. I mean what are you supposed to do if there is no ranger around and the group in front of you is crawling and won’t let you play through? Are you just supposed to sit there like a fool and play a six hour round? They wouldn’t even use that type of torcher on the terrorists in Guantanamo Bay. So as much as I’d like to say this guy is crazy he does kind of have a point. Sometimes the only thing slow golfers understand is a loaded gun in their face. So I think this is the classic case of no harm no foul.
19. Metrowestdailynews - Drug dealers take note: Potheads aren’t the only ones who know what 420 means. Quincy police arrested a man advertising his wares with the words “420 help is here” on the online classified site Craigslist. Drug detectives knew that in the cannabis culture, 420 means getting high on marijuana. The Craigslist item said “Give me a ring if you need some help,” and listed a phone number, which a detective called Friday.He told the man who answered, later identified as Christopher J. Gray, 30, of Marlboro, that he wanted to buy a quarter-ounce of marijuana. A meeting was set up for later that day in a parking lot on Southern Artery. Gray was cautious when he met two detectives posing as customers, and asked if they were cops, police Capt. John Dougan said. Apparently satisfied when the officers said they were not, Gray allegedly said: “Well, I trust you. You look normal,” and sold them a small bag of marijuana for $45.
Hey wait a minute. What kind of fucked up sting was this? The guy asked if they were cops first. The police can’t just lie like that right? I’m pretty sure that violates the Miranda Rights or some shit like that. So even though this guy is guilty, I’m pretty sure he walks. Fucking cops. Learn how to play by the rules or look less like cops would you.
20. Inside Track - Red Sox [team stats] biggie John Henry and his bride, Linda Pizzuti, presented their 450 Fenway wedding guests with commemorative silver framed photos of themselves standing next to the Green Monster or posing with the World Series trophies. Oh, but wait, there’s more. On the way out of the old ballyard, all the revelers received bobbleheads of the happy couple. Many, many, of the parting gifts, we’re told, were left behind.
Ok so my ban on bashing John Henry lasted approximately 18 hours. Hey I gave it a bid right. But I just couldn’t ignore this Linda Pizzuti bobblehead doll. Are these proportions accurate? They can’t be right? Because that bobblehead version of her is banging. She better hope that shit never pops up on ebay because I’ll buy it and violate it so fast it will make your head spin.
PS - Dr. Creepy gave away a framed picture of himself to everybody at the wedding? That’s got to be the worst gift I’ve ever heard of in my life. I mean call me crazy but wouldn’t a cool picture from when Sox won the World Series or maybe Fenway Park be a better idea? I’m just thinking people may appreciate that more than having a Dr. Creepy photo hanging in your living room.