Random Thoughts
1. Inside Track - That Los Angeles Lakers icon - and BIG Celtics [ team stats] fan - Kareem Abdul-Jabbarcouldn’t get access into the TD Banknorth Garden the other night before Game 1! Kareem, who is working for Comcast SportsNet during the NBA Finals, was stopped at the media entrance for lack of credentials. He was then sent to the players entrance (because he’s tall?), but couldn’t get in there. So he went back to the media entrance where, finally, WBZ-TV’s Steve Burton came to his rescue by ringing up an NBA gatekeeper. Kareem was overheard telling Burton, “It’s got to be the ghost of Red(Auerbach).”
Ha I love it! Welcome to Boston Kareem. Either get your fucking press credentials in order or buy a ticket like everybody else. It just sucks that Steve Burton bailed him out, but I’m not surprised. I bet Burton forced Kareem to let him smell his crotch before he let him in. I mean nobody is a bigger jock sniffer than Steve Burton. Nobody.
2. WHITEHALL - In case you were wondering, a motorized cooler on wheels is a motor vehicle under state law. A Whitehall man learned that on Memorial Day, when he was charged with driving while intoxicated after police pulled him over for swerving and driving on the sidewalk on a four-wheeled, motorized cooler known as a "Cruzin Cooler." Leslie J. "Bomber" Marr, 57, could face felony DWI and aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle charges because of prior arrests and convictions in drinking-and-driving cases, said Whitehall Police Chief Richard LaChapelle. The electricity-powered Cruzin Cooler that Marr was riding contained 14 beers, the chief said. LaChapelle said Whitehall Police Patrolman Andrew Mija stopped Marr at about 7:45 p.m. after the officer saw Marr swerving and preparing to cross William Street on the motorized cooler. The machine has handlebars, and its operator sits on a seat atop the cooler, LaChapelle said. "We were told it can do up to 12 mph," the chief said.
From the minute I started Barstool Sports I always knew this day would come. It’s the age old question of whether driving a motorized cooler while intoxicated should be considered drunken driving? Personally I think it all depends on whether the driver can beat the cooler in a match race or not. Keep in mind the cooler only goes 12 mph. I’m a firm believer that no man should be charged with a DUI if they can out run the vehicle they are operating. I’m pretty sure this rule is even in the constitution. So forget the breathalyzer test. Once the cops busted this guy they needed to have him race it. If he wins he’s free. If he loses than he gets busted. End of story.
3. Boston.com - Frustrated by the sight of unkempt and abandoned newspaper boxes, Mayor Thomas M. Menino has proposed sweeping new regulations and fees for their placement, a move that has some cash-strapped publishers complaining the mayor is limiting their ability to freely distribute newspapers on city streets. Menino says the city has been receiving complaints that news boxes are sometimes filled with trash, that they impede access for wheelchairs, and that some are chained to street signs or placed insecurely. "The problem is they get so dirty, and some of these companies don't even care," Menino said in an interview. "You find there's rubbish in them for weeks, and we've got to do something." The proposed new rules would cap at 300 the number of boxes a publisher could place in the city and charge them $25 per box annually. The publishers would also have to pay a $300 fee annually to receive a certificate of compliance.
Fucking Menino! You got to love this guy. Hey buddy I got a crazy idea. If you’re so fucking worried about the racks being dirty and filled with trash why don’t you have the DPW guys who sit around and do nothing all day except barbecue and watch TV go and clean them up. Or I got another wacky idea for you. How about putting more trash cans out? Because the only time people throw shit in them is when there is no trash can within 5 miles of the racks. That probably makes too much sense huh? And who is complaining about them anyway? A couple old bags from Beacon Hill? If I wasn’t so lazy I’d organize a phone blitz where every fucking newspaper in this city has their readers call City Hall and complain that they can’t get the paper they want. We’ll shut this fucking city down. It’s ridiculous. I bet if you put this to a vote on whether to allow the news racks or get rid of them the news racks would win 97% to 3%. But it’s the 3% of assholes with too much time on their hands that complain about it.
PS – I love how the city charges a permit for the racks but still feels like they have the right to steal them whenever they want and throw them in the city dump where wild cats make houses out of them. Only in Boston baby! Seriously my dream is to see Menino walking down the street one day and throw a wild cat in his face and see how he likes it.
Double PS - Instead of worrying about shit nobody cares about how about getting the subway to run for more than 15 minutes after the game tonight so drunk drivers aren't flying all over the place killing each other? I guess that would be to useful a cause for Menino to get involved in.
4. LOWELL -- Senator J. James Marzilli Jr. used the name of a fellow lawmaker when he was arrested Tuesday for allegedly trying to grope a woman on a park bench, telling police he was Martin Walsh, who is a state representative from Dorchester, a prosecutor said today in court. Police threatened Marzilli with pepper spray after a foot chase through downtown Lowell because he would not put his hands above his head, according to a police report read in court by prosecutor Richard M. Mucci. Marzilli, 50, initially told officers his name was Martin Walsh, he lived in Medford, and was born in 1958. However, he soon revealed his true identity and told police, "you don't understand ... I'm a state senator.'' "The defendant began to cry," Mucci said, reading from the police report. "He said they could not arrest him, that his life was over."
Listen I ain’t mad at this guy for groping a chick and blaming it on the guy from Dorchester. I mean who hasn’t done that? But on a park bench in Lowell? That is very unsenatorial. Do me a favor and leave the park bench assaults to the bums and deranged people. Seriously you’d think a Senator would be smart enough to know that you always grope girls in crowed places like the subway or a club so they don’t even know what happened. It’s kind of tough to justify voting for a guy who isn’t smart enough to figure this out. I mean how are you going to get a Casino built in MA if you can’t even grab a chick’s ass without getting caught?
5. Seattlepi.com - For months, a Boston-area woman thought she was dating a Sonics front-office employee and former NBA player named Jeff Turner, a handsome, 6-foot-8 40-something who was polite, compassionate and respectful. She thought she had scored a figurative slam-dunk in the Internet dating game. But when the man she was falling for suddenly left his Somerville, Mass., home and stayed away for three weeks, the woman became suspicious. A Google search helped her discover that this man was not Jeff Turner, but a habitual impostor who had been posing as a Sonics employee for the past several months.
"I am going to be honest with you. I don't work for them," the man who posed as Turner said from his home in Somerville, a Boston suburb, when reached by the Seattle P-I on Monday. "(The situation was) all brought on by an online dating thing. Craigslist. I lied to her. Does that mean I can go out there and represent the Sonics? No. Does that mean that I did it to get some (sex)? Absolutely." "This wasn't meant to be (anything negative) toward the Sonics," said Craven, who said he has three daughters, is separated from his wife and works in property management. "People get lied to all the time. Did I do anything illegal against the Sonics? No. Did I go out and represent the Sonics in any fashion? I'm not actually proposing that I did that. Did I do this for the broad? Yes." "I'll admit, it was a hoax," Craven said Monday. "It was all a put-on. But somebody who I met on a dating site is trying to sabotage me. This is some broad that I lied to who said I did identity theft, (and) I am not going to know what hit me. There was no intimacy in the relationship. I never tapped her."
Ah the Internet giveth and the internet taketh away. Yes you can meet chicks online but they can also google your ass when you lie to them. I guess you live by the sword you die by the sword. Regardless I kind of like Ronnie Craven’s stance on this. People get lied to all the time. What’s the big fucking deal? It’s not even like he tapped that ass. Bottom-line is that lies or no lies he put in months of time working this bitch and didn’t even get laid. If anybody was the victim here it was him. Ladies I think I speak for all of us when I say if you’re going to Google our ass do it after the first date not after two months of courtship. It’s only fair don’t you think?
6. BOSTON HERALD -- You’d think these two camps might bond over their mutual love of unreal guitar fun, but bad blood is brewing. It seems air guitarists and “Guitar Hero” enthusiasts simply do not play well together.“There is no rivalry between air guitar aficionados and the weaklings who play ‘Guitar Hero,’ ” sniffed returning Boston air guitar champ Erin McNally, who competes under the name McNallica. “They have a plastic toy with buttons. I can do so much more with my guitar than they can do. My high-note slaying solos - they can’t do that. They are limited in their rocking abilities.”Members of the “Guitar Hero” and “Rock Band” game community were quick to return fire.“We dig real stuff here,” responded Sean Baptiste, manager of community development at Harmonix. “We have real boyfriends and girlfriends. We don’t have to imagine them.”
Well you knew it was just a matter of time before these 2 groups of losers would clash. It’s like Star Wars vs. Star Trek, Real World vs. Road Rules, and Republicans vs. Democrats. What we have here though is a loser showdown that trumps all other loser showdowns: Air Guitar vs. Guitar Hero. Now right off the bat, the minute I picked up my first Guitar Hero a few months ago, I was a natural. It took just 3 songs before I nailed “Sunshine of Your Love” like I was Eric freakin’ Clapton and called Guitar Hero "the greatest game since Double Dribble". Granted I haven’t really played since but for that moment I was tremendous. Air Guitar – eh, not so much. For one, you don’t have a guitar. “Hey, check this out - I just nailed Freebird!” Huh? It looked like you were playing “Crazy Train” to me… For the record I actually think Air Drums is the way to go if you’re going to pretend to play an instrument but that’s another story.
7. Boston.com - NESN today announced that SportsDesk anchor Hazel Mae will leave the sports network at the end of the month.
“After four incredible and exciting years at NESN, I’ve decided now was the right time for me to make this difficult decision to leave,” Hazel Mae said in a statement released today. “It has been both a personal and professional privilege to be a part of NESN and the dedicated SportsDesk team. During my time with the network, I’ve had more than a few once-in-a-lifetime opportunities, including the chance to cover two World Series and a Super Bowl. I am grateful to the Red Sox and Bruins ownership groups, NESN president, Sean McGrail, and all the players and staff who have supported and challenged me. Most importantly, I’d like to thank the amazing and passionate sports fans of New England, who have welcomed me into their homes and given me a chance to do the kind of work I enjoy.”
Poor Hazel Mae. First Tina Cervasio gets whacked and now Hazel has fallen under the sword of the Boston Blond Mafia. She probably never even saw it coming either. That's how blonds work. They act all cute and giggly and then rip your balls off when you least expect it. I'm sure that somewhere in a smoke filled room Kathryn Tappen, Heidni Watney and Julie Donaldson are sipping dirty martini's getting a good chuckle out of this. But while they may have been able to force Hazel out of town, her legacy will live on forever. Because make no mistake about it. Hazel Mae was a pioneer in terms of bringing sex to the Boston Sports scene. Ironically without her Double D tits blazing the trail we'd never have the likes of Julie Donaldson, Heidi Watney and Kathryn Tappen today. So for that I say thank you Hazel Mae and Godspeed.
8. METHUEN — Methuen High School senior Rebecca Lucas figured it would be "a pretty good workout," when she competed this spring with more than 300 women for a chance to be a New England Patriots cheerleader. "No way," the 18-year-old soon-to-be-graduate said last week, recalling how poor she thought her chances were to get one of the 24 available spots. "I had no chance of making the team, because I didn't have any dancing experience like most of the girls," she said. "I never seriously thought about being a Patriots cheerleader. I just thought trying out for the squad would be something fun." Lucas, who even was competing against 10 veteran Pats cheerleaders, surprised herself by making the first two cuts. First she was among 56 survivors. That field was narrowed to 32, Lucas still among them. Then she managed to last through a grueling two-week practice session before the final cuts were made. She was flabbergasted to make it.
See, the Patriots' Way is all about excellence. It's about leaving no stone unturned, leaving nothing to chance, and working night and day to find the next great talent. That's why they draft a Matt Cassell or a Kevin O'Connell. That's why they let Deion Branch walk and in a series of moves turn him into Randy Moss and Jarrod Mayo. That's why Tom Brady is scouting Teen Beauty Pageants for the next Giselle. And that's why they'll pick up a girl right out of high school like she's LeBron James.
Bill Belichick wakes up in the morning and pisses excellence. He knows that winning comes from doing all the little things. The way John Wooden used to begin by teaching his players how to lace their sneakers, Belichick knows that greatness comes from doing everything right, not just some things. For years the Pats have been an also ran among NFL Cheerleader units. And I have to think that with a young influx of young talent like Becca, they'll finally have a cheer squad to match their football team.
9. Bostonherald.com - It was a game-changing moment no Celts fan could forget - Kevin McHale clotheslining L.A. Lakers bruiser Kurt Rambis in Game 4 of the heated 1984 playoffs. But the bespectacled Rambis didn’t limit his dust-ups to Celtics [ team stats] players that playoff season. Paul Baribeau claims he was sucker-punched by the hulking Rambis as soon as the game 7 ended and fans flooded the court in 1984. The Lynn father is eager for a reunion with Rambis at the Celtics-Lakers match-u Thursday night. “I’ve got a sign for him and everything,” Baribeau said, who plans to take poster asking ‘Where’s Kurt?’ in yellow and purple for the Lakers assistant coach Thursday night. Baribeau, who won a settlement in a lawsuit against Rambis, remembers the testosterone-filled Game 7 like it was yesterday. The clock wound down and the Celtics came out on top, thanks in part to McHale’s rough play. Fans flooded the court, ripping down the baskets and surrounding the players. Fueled by pals and ramped up by the win, Baribeau saw Rambis and decided to go for the ultimate souvenier. “I wanted to get the shirt off his back,” said the 49-year-old Lynn resident. As Baribeau tugged on the back of Rambis’ jersey, the 6-feet 8-inch power forward swung at him, breaking his nose and giving him a shiner on his left eye. “They say you shouldn’t try and take the cape off of Superman’s back,” Baribeau said, referencing the mustached Rambis’ nickname. “I should have listened.” Baribeau was knocked to the floor and trampled on by the swarm of fans who stormed the court, leaving him with a bloody nose and footprints on his back.He filed a lawsuit later that year, and Rambis settled in 1987. Baribeau won’t say exactly how much, calling it “some pocket change.”
I love it. People can reminisce all they want about the Lakers Vs. Celtics rivalry, but when push comes to shove this is what it is all about. Guys from Lynn getting their face bashed in while trying to rip the shirt off Kurt Rambis’s back. I’m sure broken nose and all this guy doesn’t regret it for a second. I mean imagine if he succeeded? That would have been the best memento of all time. Plus he still got an awesome story out of the deal. Broken noses heal. Rivalry stories live on forever.
PS - I’m not sure how this guy was able to sue Rambis though? Doesn’t it kind of seem like he deserved to get clobbered? And what's up with Boston Rob being in the picture?
10. LAS VEGAS — The world's highest profile poker tournament is under way at the Rio Hotel & Casino, with 55 championship events and a twist to its main event that will keep players in suspense until November.The most expensive buy-in will be US$50,000 for a tournament called H.O.R.S.E, where players rotate between five poker games according to a time schedule.Seven other tournaments will cost $10,000 to get in, including the main event, a no-limit Texas Hold 'em tournament that likely will carry the highest prize.Last year's winner, Jerry Yang, won $8.3 million. Tuan Lam of Mississauga, Ont., placed second and took home more than $4.8 million.This year, the field of thousands will be whittled down by mid-July to a final table of nine, who then will take a four-month break before finishing the tournament in November.
Somebody mentioned this to me this over the weekend and I didn’t believe them until I actually read it today. They’re not playing the Final Table until November??? What is this, "Survivor"? This could be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in the history of organized gambling - worse than “Keno To Go”. I mean do you know how many things could happen in 4 months to a lifelong degenerate who just won a million dollars? First of all they could be dead. Not kidding. Also, once they reach the Final Table – who knows what they’re going to do with the money they don’t even have. There’s going to be all kinds of side deals, etc. 4 months is an eternity. Plus, ESPN still isn’t broadcasting it live! They’re waiting 24 hours to edit it. Umm, so why wait the 4 months in the first place??
Anyway, nobody has to be happy about this. None of the players, at least. Our only hope is that it sucks so badly that next year they revert to what they’ve been doing the past 38 years and play the whole tournament uninterrupted like you’re supposed to.
11. The #1 story on the gossip pages the last couple weeks has been that Lindsay Lohan has gotten the gay. I purposely haven’t mentioned it because I refuse to believe that it’s true. Listen it’s a well known fact that Lindsay Lohan is addicted to dick. She doesn’t just like cock, she loves it. So there is no way she’s giving up the dick juice for an ugly piece of ass like Samantha Ronson. Yeah I know that hot lesbians sometimes like to date ugly lesbians and get dominated by them, but not Lohan. That’s just not her style. Now if she was seen hugging and kissing Angelina Jolie or Charlize Theron then it may be a different story because those two broads can make anybody’s privates tingle. But as it stands, I refuse to believe she is throwing away all her years of dick worship for the likes of Samantha Ronson. Just no way.
12. FRAMINGHAM (AP) ― Framingham police say a 13-year-old middle school student pulled a knife on his teacher in the classroom and demanded money so he could buy a video game. The Fuller Middle School student is charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, possession of a knife and possession of a dangerous weapon. Police Lt. Paul Shastany says the incident occurred around 10 a.m. on Tuesday at the end of the period.He says the male student stayed behind after the other students had left the classroom, pulled the 11-inch knife and asked for $20. After she refused, he lowered his demand to $1. Shastany says the boy wanted to buy the video game "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas" but his mother refused to give him the money, so he came up with an alternate plan that police say was in the works for two to three weeks.
So let me get this straight. This kid was planning this crime for 2 -3 weeks? And this is the best he could do? Are you fucking kidding me? For starters how about waiting till the end of school instead of committing this crime at 10am when everybody is still around? Second, what planet is he living on if he thinks 20 bucks is going to get him Grand Theft Auto. It would have been a real shame if he successfully pulled this heist off only to go to Best Buy and find out he was still 40 bucks short. Finally who lowers their demands from 20 bucks to 1 dollar? That’s an insult to petty thieves everywhere. At least jab at the teacher with the knife before you start negotiating. I mean have some dignity would you?
13. TAMPA, Fla. (AP) -- A nude maid is accused of really cleaning up at a Florida man's home. The Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office said a 50-year-old man hired the maid from the Internet on Friday to clean his Tampa home. Authorities said the woman arrived at the home in a one-piece, light colored dress. She took off the dress and cleaned the house for $100-per-hour. Sheriff's office spokeswoman Debbie Carter said the man told deputies he left the maid alone in the bedroom to clean. When the man's wife came home from vacation, she discovered $40,000 in jewelry missing from their bedroom. Police are investigating.
I'm going to try to not let this story destroy my faith in nude maids you hire off the internet. Because once you lose the ability to trust such noble and time-honored profession, what's left to believe in, really? I think it's a lot like the firemen running that phoney disability scam the Herald has been talking about. The ones you really feel bad for are the honest naked maids; the ones who show up, strip, clean your place and don't rob you blind. The honest ones. It's the bad apples who make the whole profession look bad. But you know, if ever there was a time to blame the victim of a crime, this is it. Why have a nude maid if you're just going to leave her alone with your valuables? Call me crazy, but isn't the whole point of hiring a naked one in the first place to see the goods? I think that's what you're paying them the big bucks and leaving her alone to clean your bedroom without you kind of defeats the purpose. PS. I'm sure that was a nice "Welcome home" for the wife. Gawd, I love Tampa. It's blogger heaven.
14. DECORAH, Iowa – Luther College will host one of the first Ultimate Frisbee training and technique camps in the nation June 12-15 for high school students entering grades 10, 11, 12 and 2008 graduates. The camp will be held on the Luther College athletic fields that were the site of the 2007 and 2008 Ultimate Players Association Central Region Championships. Registration forms are available at http://sportscamps.luther.edu/ultimate. The cost of the camp depends on the participants’ needs, which can include meals, housing and materials. Frisbee instructors from around the Midwest will teach sessions each day on Ultimate skills and techniques through drills, practice and games. Players from the nationally ranked Luther men’s and women’s Ultimate teams will also be on hand to instruct and help participants. In addition to the instruction during the day, there will be fun activities each evening including Frisbee golf, music and movies. Ultimate Frisbee, called “Ultimate” by players and fans, is one of the fastest growing sports on college campuses across the United States. The spirit of sportsmanship that is displayed under incredible competitive pressure is what sets the game apart. Ultimate is distinguished by its “spirit of the game” – an honor code that insists on principles of fair play, sportsmanship, and the joy of play. In that spirit, players are responsible for foul and line calls and they resolve their own disputes. This creates a spirit of honesty and respect on the playing field. Luther is a selective four-year college located in northeast Iowa. The college has an enrollment of 2,550 students and offers a liberal arts education leading to the bachelor of arts degree in 60 majors and pre-professional programs. The Ultimate Players Association is a player-run, not-for-profit organization based in Boulder, Colo. Founded in 1979, UPA is among the first flying disc organizations in the world and is one of the largest, with more than 24,600 members. For more information about the UPA, visit http://www.upa.org/.
Training Camp for Ultimate Frisbee? Ha! Ha! Ha! What’s next? Training camp for Harry Potter or Lacrosse? But seriously doesn’t this defeat the whole purpose of “Ultimate” to begin with? I thought it was supposed to be a non competitive hobby for hippies with too much time on their hands? And everybody knows that hippies don’t practice to get better at anything in life, never mind practicing something that requires physical exertion. It’s like against their code or something. So my question is who would ever go to this camp? Is it just for kids who suck at sports and were forced to play Ultimate as a last resort? Regardless, I’d love for like the Varsity football team to show up on the last day of camp and just demolish these kids who have been practicing all week. That should crush their sprits forever.
15. CARSON CITY, NEVADA -- Today, in the wake of recent airline announcements that travelers will be charged $15 to check their first piece of luggage, a beloved Nevadainstitution is looking to offer its own fly-in customers something special on the ground...The World-Famous Moonlite Bunny Ranch, has announced that it will reimburse any customer the $15 baggage fee who shows their claim stub at the brothel. The rebate -- similar to the stimulus tax-return checks currently being mailed by the U.S. government -- are intended to stimulate a warm feeling in Bunny Ranch patrons who might otherwise feel screwed at 30,000 feet without even joining the Mile-High Club."As long as the airlines keep sticking it to the consumer, we feel obligated to help," explains Dennis Hof, owner of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch. "And we won't ask what's in your luggage, even though the girls may be curious.”
Remember that Bunny Ranch trip you had planned but cancelled because of the $15 luggage fee? Well as somebody once said, “Pack-your-bags!" That’s right, Dennis Hof, a.k.a. the creepiest man in America, has done it again. Don’t let the $3,000 three-ways with Sunset Thomas and Bridget the Midget fool you, he’s always looking out for the consumer (virgins and degenerates). I mean without the $15 rebate, there’s no way I’m spending my entire monthly salary for an hour at a brothel and 30 seconds on HBO. It's just simple math. Forget George W's, this has to be one of the great rebates of all time in my view. And as a side note - yes, “Bridget the Midget” is the name of the new dwarf-whore at the Cathouse.
16. AUBURN HILLS, Mich. - I love watching Kevin Garnett play basketball. Bet you do, too. But I feel like I don't know a thing about the guy. Never will. And neither will you. That's just the way it is now and you, the reader, are poorer for it. Today's players are protected from the media by team publicists. There are too many people with media passes. Players don't need sports reporters. We are a nuisance - tolerated at best. Interview access is parsed out like a high school hall pass. "Kevin Garnett will be available after the game." To everyone. At the same time. At the podium. And Garnett will be polite and classy as always. But we won't be able to tell you what Garnett is really like. Rajon Rondo has a publicist. Think about that for a second. I'm pretty sure Greg Kite never had a publicist. I know this because Kite was my neighbor when I covered the Celtics and we used to share rides to Logan. We both knew that Monday was trash day in West Newton. It's nobody's fault. And it's not a complaint. It's just the way things have evolved, and ultimately it erodes the connection between sports fans and their heroes.
I’m not sure how many people caught Dan Shaughnessy’s article in the Sunday Globe, but I got a kick out of it. Shank was basically whining and moaning about how modern day athletes don’t talk to sports reporters anymore. And then he somehow made the ideological jump that the people who suffer from this lack of communication isn’t sports writers, but rather the fans. It was vintage Shank. His head is stuck so far up his ass that I’m not even sure if he realizes that he just articulately explained why he and all his buddies are now dinosaurs. After all if everybody gets the same exact information regardless of whom they work for or whether they have locker room access or not then what separates bloggers from paid reporters? As far as I can tell the answer is nothing. Unless of course you count sense of entitlement, disdain for the common fan, superiority complex and jealousy of the athletes as reasons why Shank can do his job better than bloggers. Personally I don’t and that’s why it was a pleasure to read Shaughnessy unknowingly explain why he is no longer needed or wanted in Boston.
17. FRAMINGHAM — Police say they arrested a drunken local woman who stumbled into a Lindsay Street home Saturday afternoon, assaulted the homeowner, spit at officers, resisted arrest and refused to be fingerprinted. Yvonne A. Kadlik, 44, carried three Budweisers and an open bottle of Orange Jubilee MD 20/20 when she burst into 41 Lindsay St. at about 4 p.m. and screamed, "This is my house!" police spokesman Lt. Paul Shastany said. "She's yelling at the lawful owner, 'Why are you in my family's house?"' Shastany said. "She's told to leave and refuses and pushes the lady." The homeowner was able to force Kadlik out of the house, as police arrived to find the suspect slurring with red, glassy and bloodshot eyes, Shastany said.
Is anybody even remotely surprised by this story? I mean what do you expect to happen when you start mixing Bud Heavies with Orange Jubilee on Memorial Day Weekend? You can’t help but to just start claiming other people’s shit as your own. This is my house bitches! Hilarious. This lady is just lucky she didn’t end up lying on a deserted beach in a 3rd world country or something. Because that’s what Orange Jubille will do to you. It’ll fuck your shit up.