Random Thoughts
1. NYDailyNews.com - Roger Clemens carried on a decade-long affair with country star Mindy McCready, a romance that began when McCready was a 15-year-old aspiring singer performing in a karaoke bar and Clemens was a 28-year-old Red Sox ace and married father of two, several sources have told the Daily News. During another Big Apple excursion, the two holed up in the trendy SoHo Grand and later partied with Monica Lewinsky and Michael Jordan.
Suddenly the steroid thing doesn’t seem so bad anymore huh? Poor Debbie Clemens. It’s been a tough couple months for her. First she gets busted for doing steroids and now she finds out that not only is her husband a pedophile, but he has two wives. Because let’s call a spade a spade. If you’re banging a chick for 10 years that’s not an affair. That’s a spouse. Not to mention the fact that the Rocket was putting the screws to Mindy McCready when she was only 15. Isn’t that rape? Where is Law and Order SUV when you need them?
PS – Who hasn’t Monica Lewinsky partied with? I totally got to get her to a Stool event.
2. Boston.com - The 2007 Red Sox season was just underway when a group of professional ticket brokers held an unusual meeting in a private room at the Baseball Tavern, the storied bar in the shadows of Fenway Park. The main item on their agenda: How to persuade Massachusetts officials to keep ticket-resale profits rolling. One man was there with an offer of help. He was not a broker, had no known experience as a political strategist, and has never registered as a State House lobbyist. But Richard Vitale had something that the two dozen brokers came to believe was even more important to their cause - a close personal and professional relationship with Salvatore F. DiMasi, the speaker of the Massachusetts House. Vitale told the group that he could "do things a registered lobbyist couldn't do - behind the scenes," according to one ticket seller in attendance who asked that his name not be used. Others present also told the Globe they left the meeting with a clear understanding that Vitale was close to DiMasi. What they did not know when they decided to retain him through his firm, WN Advisors, was just how close. Vitale is the speaker's personal accountant and former campaign treasurer. And he had given DiMasi a $250,000 third mortgage on his North End condominium, according to public records. It was an unorthodox line of credit, apparently at below-market interest rates for such a loan, that DiMasi in an interview ac knowledged he had used. At the urging of the group's leader, James Holzman, the president of Ace Ticket Worldwide, the brokers paid Vitale what two members in attendance at the meeting that day described as many thousands of dollars to help their cause. Months later, legislation to lift regulations on the ticket resale business glided through the House of Representatives with DiMasi's support. After passing the House, the bill got bottled up in the Senate, where it remains today. If Vitale was paid more than $5,000 to influence lawmakers - and several brokers briefed on his fee arrangements said he most certainly was - he would have had to register as a lobbyist. And if he was working as a lobbyist, his ongoing financial relationship with DiMasi - namely, the loan -would have run afoul of state conflict of interest laws that prohibit lobbyists from granting anything of value to a public official. Under current law, ticket resellers may charge no more than $2 above a ticket's face value, plus a service charge, though the law is rarely enforced, observers say. Consumer advocates had been pressing for tighter price controls after receiving complaints that tickets to sporting events and concerts were being sold for many times their original price. By late September 2007, months after the brokers hired Vitale, the measures sought by consumer advocates were dead in the House. And in their place, a broker-friendly bill lifting all pricing restrictions had emerged with a favorable recommendation from the Joint Committee on Consumer Protection and Professional Licensure. A week later, that bill passed the full House.
Let’s call a spade a spade. Clearly DiMasi, the ticket guys, and Richard Vitale broke the law. That’s pretty freaking obvious. I mean nothing screams guilty like when you start having Regan Communication speak for your ass in the press. But what amazes me about this story is how the Globe found about this secret meeting in the first place. My only guess is that some of the smaller ticket agencies in Boston must fucking hate Ace Tickets so they ratted him out. Why else would you spill the beans? Regardless, this story brings up a bigger issue. Should it be illegal for these ticket brokers to exist? Personally I think it’s a legit business. Listen nobody wants to pay 200 bucks for a Red Sox ticket, but I’m not sure getting rid of these guys will change that. It’s just the law of supply and demand. If these ticket brokers didn’t exist you’d just be buying them from somebody else. The bottom line is that when something is as hot as Red Sox tickets it’s virtually impossible to regulate prices. And personally I’d rather buy tickets from a reputable place like Higs Tickets rather than risk getting screwed on Ebay or by some shady dude outside Fenway.
Now having said I do think there should be more Day of Game tickets made available to people who are willing to wait in line. The easy way to do this would be for the Red Sox to buy back all the tickets from fans who can’t use them for whatever reason at face value and then put those tickets on sale the morning of a game. But instead of doing this the Red Sox decided to form a partnership/monopoly with Ace Tickets and let them resell all those unused tickets for 500 times the face value on them. In return Ace bought a huge ad deal with the Sox. In other words it’s a win, win for the Sox and Ace Tickets while the fans get fucked in the ass. Granted I don’t blame Ace Tickets for doing this deal, but it’s as greedy as greedy gets for the Red Sox. They are basically helping make their tickets harder to get and more expensive. If the State wants to regulate anything this is where they should get involved. But as far as trying to regulate ticket brokers I just don’t see what this will accomplish. It won’t help keep prices down. It will just make it easier to get scammed.
3. Foxnews.com - Men who frequently masturbate appear to have a lower risk of developing prostate cancer, Australian researchers reported.Researchers from the Cancer Council of Victoria found that men who masturbated more than five times each week were one-third less likely to develop the cancer. The study surveyed 1,000 men who developed prostate cancer and 1,250 who did not, and all were between the ages of 20 and 50, according to a report on Monday on the gay and lesbian news site PlanetOut. Researchers told the BBC last week that the prostate produces one of the fluids involved in ejaculation and that frequent masturbation appears to flush out carcinogens.Sexual intercourse may not have the same effect because it increases the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease, which could raise the risk of cancer, the Web site reported.
Listen I’m just as happy as the next guy about these findings, but was it really worth spending time on this study? I mean what guy doesn’t beat off at least 5 times a week? This is like holding a press conference to announce that guys who stand up at least 5 times a week are less likely to have a heart attack. Thanks for the update, but how does this help anybody? Now if you tell me that guys who jerk off 100 times a week are 1/2 as likely to get cancer then that is a different story. I’ll start beating off around the clock. But don’t try and act like you’re changing lives when you tell people to just keep on keeping on.
4. MEMPHIS, TN - Memphis Police announced Tuesday, April 22, 2008 they have arrested 64 people on prostitution charges. Police say Randall Stovall was also arrested; investigators say he had his 7 year-old daughter in the car with him while he picked up a prostitute.
First I missed out on getting high at 4:20 on 4/20, now I've completely missed Take Your Daughter to Solicit a Prostitute Day. Sure we could get all judgmental about Mr. Stovall's parenting skills here. This is just another case where we can all expect to hear from the "You shouldn't pick up hookers with your second grader in the back seat" crowd, who are always butting into everyone else's businees. But as a father myself, I'm giving Stovall the benefit of the doubt. When you're raising children, it's always important to look for what the experts call "teaching moments." With one car trip, Little Miss Stovall got to learn about women in the workplace (hookers, female cops undercover as hookers), math ("That'll cost you fifty dollah." "What can I get for twenty?") and science (reproduction). Plus now she'll get a look into the legal system she'd never get from watching "Jimmy Neutron." All in all I'd say Randall made the right choice not hiring a babysitter.
5. BBC.com - A man posing as Darth Vader attacked a Star Wars fan, who had founded a Jedi Church, a court has heard. Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, from Holyhead, Anglesey, admitted assaulting Barney Jones and cousin Michael with a metal crutch. They suffered minor injuries. Hughes, who was drunk and dressed in a black bin bag, shouted "Darth Vader” The court heard he had jumped over a garden wall wearing the bin bag before the attack. Outlining the case against Hughes, prosectutor Nia Lloyd said Barney Jones had recently started the Jedi church in Holyhead - in honour of the Star Wars' good knights. It had about 30 members locally and "thousands worldwide". The cousins had been filming themselves playing with light sabres in the garden before the attack. Hughes hit Barney Jones over the head with the crutch, leaving him with a headache. He then laughed and hit Michael Jones in the thigh, causing bruising. Both men were left upset by the incident and they believed it was pre-planned.
I’m not really a Star Wars fan, but let me just say this. These two Jedi’s have to be the two biggest pussies on the planet. I mean how do both of them get their asses kicked when they each had light sabers and Darth Vader only had a crutch? Plus since when do Jedi’s rely on the legal system to stop Darth Vader? You think Darth Vadar fucking cares what some judge says? Listen, if I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times. Don’t pretend to be a Jedi if you’re just going to act like a little pussy every time Darth Vader shows up.
6. KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft. Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.
Am I the only one that finds the fact that the Congo has radio call in shows more surprising than the fact they have sorcerers who are stealing people’s dicks? It just seems that in a place where people are using black magic to mess with your junk, they wouldn’t also have radio talk shows at the same time. Regardless I’d love to get these guys as salesman for the Stool. You don’t want to advertise with us? Check out your dick in about 2 hours and get back to me.
7. The NFL has released a statement regarding Patriots turncoat and theiving weasel Matt Walsh and how their investigation is going to proceed from here. Apparently like most legal documents, it's chock full of indecipherable non-English and incomprehisble goddledygook. Profootballtalk.com is in the process now of trying to sift through all the legalese and dumbing it down for us, which is good since it saves me from having to do so. (Note: I wouldn't have.) Here's part of what PFT has gleaned so far:
In paragraph 2 of the agreement, Walsh is required ”to provide the NFL full, complete and accurate information, in good faith and to the best of his knowledge.” The indemnification commitment Walsh receives in paragraph 3(a) applies even if there is “alleged untruthfulness” in Walsh’s disclosures to the NFL, unless there is “intentional untruthfulness.”In other words, Walsh is not exposed to a claim that he’s being untruthful merely if he happens to be factually wrong. Basically, then, it’s not a lie if Walsh genuinely believes that any factual inaccuracies he discloses are the truth.
Apparently that's been the hold up all this time. The Patriots lawyers said they're not going to sit there and listen to this dickweed make up stories about them... like the one about videotaping the Rams pre-Super Bowl walk through which everyone outside of Arlen Specter (R-Comcast) knows is a lie... under oath without taking legal action against him. Walsh held out because he'd like the option of commiting perjury without any ramifications. Sounds reasonable enough. So the NFL, which has adopted dozens of rules to prevent referees from having to read minds... the Tuck Rule comes quickly to mind... has agreed to a deal where Matt Walsh can say anything he wants under oath, and it's not lying if he thinks it's not lying. "Oh, yeah, I taped all sorts of signals. All three Super Bowls. Plus Scott Pioli ordered me to hide a camera in the Colts lockerroom and the cheerleaders dressing room. Then I fathered Jessica Alba's baby. At least that's how I remember it."
I can't believe Roger Goodell caved like this. Once again the Patriots are being set up like a Motherf-er. It just proves the old adage that just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean everyone isn't out to get you.
8. Smoking Gun - Three months after their bid for an undefeated season ended with a Super Bowl loss to the New York Giants, the New England Patriots are continuing to pursue trademarks on the phrases "19-0" and "19-0 The Perfect Season," records show. While the team may have been expected to withdraw its applications after finishing at 18-1, a Patriots lawyer recently amended the original filings to correct a typographical error, a clear indication that the organization remains committed to securing the marks (perhaps Bill Belichick & Co. are anticipating perfection in the 2008 season).
I don't know if any Pats fan could ask for a better sign of a bright, shining future filled with successful draft picks, talented rookies, healthy veterans in the prime of their careers, Brady-to-Moss TD passes coming in bunches and clusters, and long winning streaks than this. Apparently Bob Kraft's patent attorney found and error in the original filing where in the part where they were listing the products they'd like do slap "19-0" on, they wrote "toy bans" instead of "toy banks." Where it any other, lesser organization, they would've just told the patent office to forget it. Didn't happen. Won't happen ever. Save the paperwork and forget we ever bothered. But not the Pats. They came within a minute of perfection once and came up short, now that's nothing more than unfinished business to them. Time to roll up the sleeves and have that toy bank factory in China ready to roll out the first order the first Monday in February of '09. And the attorney corrected one other typo. Where the filing says "plush toys" it should have been spelled "All those bitches who laughed when we lost the Super Bowl are going to rue the day."
9. National Ledger.com - Is it time for New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady to start worrying about something other than blitzing linebackers? Is Leonardo DiCaprio getting ready to put a speed rush on Brady gal Gisele Bundchen? A report from Star magazine notes that even though Leonardo DiCaprio is hot and heavy with Israeli model Bar Refaeli, he still carries a torch for ex-girlfriend Gisele Bundchen, a report published in this week's magazine claims. According to a source cited by Star, the 33-year-old calls Gisele, 27, after he's had few too many drinks. Is Leo really drunk dialing Gisele? That what the claim is from the source.
Is this article really asking whether Tom Brady is worried about Leonardo DiCarprio stealing back Gisele? Ha! Ha! Ha! Listen dude, actors don’t steal girlfriends from NFL QB’s unless we’re talking about one of the Manning brothers who are so ugly they make girls fake gay. So I don’t believe this story for a second. I mean if you were Leonardo DiCarprio would you drunk dial Gisele? The only think that is going to accomplish is to piss off Tom Brady. And then next thing you know he’s going to be balls deep in Bar Rafaeli writing his initial on her tits with his jizz. Everybody knows this. Even little Leonardo DiCaprio. This is why I hate gossip magazines. They just make shit up out of the blue.
10. Boston.com - The general manager of WHDH Channel 7 was arrested after an allegedly drunken, obscenity-laced tirade at Logan International Airport in which she threatened to call a news crew and put a State Trooper "on TV and ruin [his] life," according to a police report. Randi Goldklank flailed her arms and screamed at State Police when they took her into custody after her Delta flight landed Sunday night, according to the report. "I'm a bigshot in Boston and I'll have you're [expletive] jobs," Goldklank told the troopers, according to the report. "You think you're a [expletive] tough guy, just you watch and see what the [expletive] happens to you when I get out of here." Goldklank defended her behavior to the Boston Herald Monday night and told the paper she was inappropriately touched by a male passenger seated beside her. There was no mention of the male passenger in the State Police report. Trooper Eric Benson, a department spokesman, said this morning that “there has been no complaint made to the State Police alleging any such improper contact.” According to the report, she was overheard by police telling medical personnel that she had had "about three dozen drinks." Goldklank smelled of alcohol and was so intoxicated that police had difficulty booking her, the report stated. But then Goldklank's tone shifted. "The defendants demeanor changed and she became quiet," the report says. "After a few minutes she leaned toward Sergeant Luce and stated, 'You think I’m cute and I think you're cute, just drive me home.' "
You got to love alpha females. They are such a riot. But I’m not going to sit here and throw stones at glass houses. What big shot in Boston hasn’t been in this situation? I know that whenever I’m in trouble with the law I always threaten to ruin people’s lives by lighting them up on the blog. But what I’ve learned over time is that this type of behavior usually just gets the Astrovan towed, my license suspended and angry dads in my driveway. Anyway, speaking of my license being suspended I’m totally going to steal this chick’s line once I can’t drive anymore.
“You think I’m cute and I think you’re cute, just drive me home”
It’s perfect! What chick will be able to resist that? Granted I’m not cute ,but neither is this broad so it may work.
11. Aol.com - BALTIMORE (April 20) - New York Yankees reliever Kyle Farnsworth was suspended for three games and fined Saturday for throwing a fastball behind the neck of Boston slugger Manny Ramirez earlier in the week. Farnsworth said he was "shocked" by the decision and would appeal the penalty, which was to start Saturday night against Baltimore. He will be eligible to pitch until a hearing is held. "I can't agree," he said. "We will appeal, and then we'll go from there." Manager Joe Girardi also expressed his shock at the ruling by Bob Watson, vice president of on-field operations for Major League Baseball. The amount of the fine was not disclosed. "I am shocked and I don't understand it. I disagree with it. It doesn't make any sense to me," Girardi said, adding that there have been far worse incidents that have gone without penalty this season. "I just don't understand why he was suspended to begin with," Girardi said.
This is one of my biggest pet peeves about the Yankees. They always throw at people’s heads and then bitch and moan like little girls when they get suspended. Listen, if you want to be Mr. Tough Guy and throw at Manny’s head at least be man enough to stand by it. I HATE when guys throw at people and then blab on and on about how it was accident and how they have so much respect for the opponent. That’s a fucking coward move. Either be a man and stand by your actions or don’t do it in the first place. Or at least say no comment when reporters ask about it. But the Yankees “whoa is me” routine is disgusting. Clearly Farnsworth threw at Manny. Anybody who honestly thinks that pitch just slipped should be locked in an insane asylum and they should throw away the key. It’s not even a debate. A Major League pitcher doesn’t throw a fastball behind somebody’s head who went deep twice the night before on accident. End of story. It just doesn’t happen. I hope Beckett throws a fastball in Jeter’s teeth next time they play and then points at Farnsworth in the bullpen. That would be poetic justice.
12. BHOPAL: An 18-year-old girl, just two-and-a-half feet tall, gave birth to a baby boy in the district hospital of Chhindwara in south Madhya Pradesh. "What made the case special were the parents of the child. Not only is the mother a dwarf, the father is crippled by polio. He can only crawl and drag himself on the ground," Dr P K Shrivastava, the surgeon who led the operation, told TOI . "Given her small physique, anaesthesia and surgery were a challenge."
Only in India baby! I mean if it’s not one thing, it’s something else. Two faced babies, tree men, 29 inch chicks. What don’t they have? Anyway, this must have been some serious hot ass sex between the polio dude and the dwarf. Their passion probably lit the entire village on fire. I guess it just goes to prove the old adage true that "small packages yield big erections"
13. Washingtonpost.com - A playground pastime is getting a timeout this spring at a McLean elementary school. Robyn Hooker, principal of Kent Gardens Elementary School, has told students they may no longer play tag during recess after determining that the game of chasing, dodging and yelling "You're it!" had gotten out of hand. Hooker explained to parents in a letter this month that tag had become a game "of intense aggression."This is not the old-fashioned tag, where you could use two fingers and you would be it and move on to someone else," Hooker said. The game, she said, has become much more aggressive. "I call it the nouveau tag." This tag involves grabbing people who do not necessarily know they are playing and possibly bumping them to the ground. "Then the kids do 'pyramiding' or 'towering.' They pile on each other. [Sometimes] they call it 'jailhouse' or 'jailbreak,' " because the child has to break out, she said.
No tag huh? Why stop there? Why don’t we just outlaw kids from walking from now on? We can just put them in gigantic bubbles and roll them around from place to place. This way nobody gets hurt. And while we’re at it we should eliminate all competitive sports so kids who suck don’t get their feelings hurt. It will be great. The United States will be a huge pussy utopia filled with kids who have never fallen down, never lost at anything in their life and never been told their wrong. And then eventually these kids will grow into incompetent adults who don’t even know how to tie their shoes and Canada will invade our asses and put us out of our misery.
PS- This principal needs to wake the fuck up. Tag doesn’t involve knocking down kids who aren’t playing and then pig piling them. Maybe this bitch should worry about disciplining the kids who do this type of shit instead of just canceling the entire game. Just a thought.
14. Wickedlocal.com - Police were flagged down at an Ashford Court residence because a 20-year-old Boston University student wanted to report that her roommates, also 20, “appeared to have put semen in a shampoo bottle of hers.” Although there was no violence, “both parties admitted to writing and drawing various things on each other’s dry boards such as male genitalia.” All parties were advised of their rights under domestic violence law and advised to see help on the matter from BU, where the parties are students.
I hate bitches like this. One second they are cool with you touching them and groping them and the next second they are calling the cops on you. It’s like they draw an imaginary line in the sand of when a joke suddenly becomes assault and it's impossible to figure out where that line is. It’s like when David from Real World II got kicked out of the house. He totally got framed. Same thing here. I mean this chick was cool with drawing dicks on dry erase boards right? How do you not realize that the next logical step is somebody putting jizz in your shampoo? You can’t have your cake and eat it to.
15. A teenage mother whose newborn baby was taken from her by social workers has been banned from seeing her son after she threw him across the room during a fight with the boy's father. The fight occurred while the parents were visiting the baby, who is currently in foster care, during a session supervised by social workers from Nottingham City Council. The baby, known as K, had been taken away from the mother just two hours after he was born because the local authority feared she was not in a fit state to look after him. ... When one of the social workers said "give me the baby", she threw the child at her from about 18in away. The social worker observed that she did this "without due care of where he was actually going to land and without supporting his head".
I think enormous credit is due here to the British social workers. It's nice not only that they helped save baby K, but that in the middle of this gut wrenching story of a broken home, dysfunctional teenage parents and child endangerment, you get a nice little tip on how to properly throw a baby. "Supporting his head" is key. A flopping baby head will offer wind resistance and drag the baby down and away from your target, like a knuckleball or the flaps on an airplane wing. The key to proper baby throwing is to get a good, balanced stance (feet shoulder width apart), point your left shoulder toward the social worker, bring the baby behind your head, step into the throw and have a good follow-through. That will produce a good, tight spiral and give you more accuracy. It's amazing training those Brit DSS workers get, especially in a country where they're most just used to kicking.
16. NY Post:- What would you do if you won the lottery? If you said you'd use a marker to draw a goatee on your face before a press conference to announce your good fortune, then you would be on the same wavelength as Michael Perez, 51, of Queens. The unemployed warehouse worker scrawled the phony facial hair on his chin below his moustache as a disguise in hopes of staying incognito yesterday as he accepted a ceremonial check for winning a $14 million Lotto jackpot from the New York Lottery. Perez, who also donned sunglasses and a cap, said he wanted to remain unrecognized so thieves could not prey on him and his mom, who he said lives in a crimeridden section of The Bronx. "I've got to look out for my family," Perez said when asked about his mystery garb.
The mystery to me is how a guy with Michael Perez' wherewithal and street smarts could possibly be unemployed. Not to disparage warehouse workers, but I'd think a guy with so much savvy would be doing counter-espionage for the CIA or infiltrating Al Qaeda or something. I mean, I've got nothing on Perez. If it was me, I would've just said no thanks to the press conference, taken a pass on the big, novelty cardboard check, gone down to the lottery office at 4:59 Friday afternoon, grabbed the real check and been on my way. But that wouldn't have foiled the bad guys nearly as well as the old Sharpie Beard trick. Michael Perez has to be the smartest guy in the Bronx this side of Hank Steinbrenner.
17. I know people hate me talking about American Idol. But let me just say this. It is going to take an upset of gigantic proportion for David Cook not to win Idol this year. This will make it 7 out of 8 years for me. (Last year was the only year I missed) It’s a streak so unfathomable, so impossible that I deserve to be known as the #1 American Idol expert in this country. It still astounds me why I haven’t been contacted by all the local media outlets to recap each episode. Bottom-line is that there are very few people in life who can dominate anything the way I dominate American Idol. There is Tiger in Golf. Jordan in Basketball. Gretzky in hockey and me in American Idol. Pretty impressive company if you ask me.
18. NEW YORK (Reuters) - A 15-minute film of Marilyn Monroe engaging in oral sex with an unidentified man will be kept from public view by a New York businessman who has bought it for $1.5 million, the broker of the deal said on Monday. Memorabilia collector Keya Morgan said he recently arranged the sale of the silent, black-and-white film from the son of a dead FBI informant who possessed it to a wealthy Manhattan businessman who wants to protect Monroe's privacy. "The gentleman who bought it said out respect for Marilyn he's not going to make a joke of it and put it on the Internet and try to exploit her," said memorabilia collector Keya Morgan. "That's not his intention and I would never get my name involved if that were to happen."
Wait? Are you telling me that there is a Marilyn Monroe sex tape out there and we don’t have access to it? This is a terrible, terrible miscarriage of justice! It’s unfathomable, unethical, unconscionable and most of all UN American! I hate to break it to this Manhattan businessman, but Marilyn Monroe is fucking dead. You don’t have to worry about protecting her privacy anymore. I’m sure she won’t care if the world gets to see her giving a beaner or not.
PS – If I knew this thing was for sale I totally would have offered more than 1.5 million dollars for it. All you need to do is charge people like 1 dollar per download and you’d make 10 million before the day was over. It’s the biggest no brainer in the history of earth. The guy who sold this got royally screwed.
Double PS - I love everybody debating whether the guy getting blown was JFK or Joe DiMaggio etc. Who fucking cares who the dick belongs to? The dick isn’t what puts the asses in seats. It’s about Marilyn giving a BJ. The dick could belong to anybody.