Random Thoughts

1. Let’s start with the big news of the week. I can only be talking about the return of the Barstool Sports Radio Hour. Yup, starting this Wednesday Night from 6pm-7pm, El Presidente will be coming to you live from the Place in Faneuil Hall. (The Place is located at 2 Broad Street.) The radio show will be aired on 1510 the Zone. My cohosts will be the same two guys I did the show with last time: Todd McShay of Scouts Inc/ESPN Insider and Elio Imbornone of Tony’s Pizza in West Roxbury. I think I’m also going to rotate in a different writer or Stoolie as a guest host on a weekly basis. However, I will probably wait to implement the “guest cohost idea” for a month or so until we work out the kinks of broadcasting live from a bar. As a side note, there is a 50/50 chance the first few shows will be a total disaster since there has been very little communication on how this whole “on location” thing is going to work. Regardless, the most important thing is that we get a good crowd at the Place this Wednesday and every Wednesday because they are the ones footing a large portion of the bill. So if you work in the Financial District we’re asking that you to stop by the Place to heckle us, have a few pops and watch the first few innings of the Sox. Also, unlike other media frauds in the city we won’t run for the hills once the show ends. We’ll hang out and watch the game too. (P.S. – I was joking about the heckling part.)

2. I had a solid celebrity encounter last week during my paper route. I saw Peter Gammons out in front of Fenway Park talking with some blazing blonde chick who couldn't have been older then 25 years old. I was actually staring at the chick and not Gammons when I walked by them until I heard his voice. While the blonde was gorgeous, Gammons on the other hand looked like he may get knocked over by a stiff breeze. Ordinarily I'm not even sure I'd mention this celebrity sighting except for the fact I did overhear Gammons say the following to the girl: "I can get you into any game you want to go to, just call me if you want to go." Got to love Peter putting the moves on the hot blond a quarter of his age.

3. It looks like Bill Simmons has overcome his fear of media exposure yet again. I simply couldn't let another day go by without mentioning the fact that my buddy Bill Simmons did an interview in the Improper Bostonian. How perfect is that? I am actually happy that he did this because it proves 100% what I've been saying from the beginning and that is that Simmons is a fraud. How else can you explain his decision to grant them an interview as opposed to us? (Spite is an unacceptable answer.) Any real Boston Sports fan should take this as a direct slap in the face. This is the new "Hollywood" Bill Simmons. He is catering to his Greenwich Connecticut Wine and Cheese crowd. I couldn't have picked a better issue of the Improper for Simmons to appear in than "The Beauty Issue." The Simmons interview was featured along with other hard hitting stories like "Trends from New York's Fashion Week” and "Drugstore vs. Department Store: When to save, when to splurge." HA HA HA. Also, I got a kick out of the fact that the guy who interviewed Simmons isn't even from Boston, but is from New York. Got to love the Improper keeping it real. As a side note, I found it interesting that Bob Ryan bashed Simmons saying "it was very easy" to write his way since he isn't accountable to anyone. As much as I hate Bill Simmons, I don't think what he does is easy. (By the way if you are a new reader to Barstool Sports and are wondering how it is possible that we hate seemingly the best writer on the planet, shoot us an email and we’ll send you the background info on this feud.)

4. Pat Ewing Jr. is transferring from Indiana to Georgetown. It's about time right? What was he doing at Indiana in the first place? I can feel a serious case of Hoya Paranoia coming on.

5. Who picks the talent for baseball tonight? Larry Bowa and Jeff Brantley quite possibly make up the worst studio team in the history of television. Jeff Brantley is bad enough by himself, but the addition of Larry Bowa makes this show unbearable to watch. And trust me I tried to watch it. I really did, but I was physically forced to change the channel after Bowa refereed to Brantley as "JB" for the 39th time in 2 minutes.

6. Every once in a while a story comes along that strikes me as possibly the funniest story of all time. This is one of those stories; Caroline Marcil (a Montreal singer) was to perform the national anthems of Canada and the United States before the United States' 5-4 exhibition victory over Canada in hockey on Friday in Quebec City. Despite two tries, she forgot the words to the U.S. anthem and then left to get the lyrics. When she returned to the rink, she slipped on the carpet covering the ice and plopped on her back before a Quebec Coliseum crowd of 7,166. After lying motionless for a few seconds, the 24-year- old Canadian left on her own and the game began without either anthem sung. "It was a lot of things together, the emotion, the stress," she said, adding that the crowd's booing made things worse. This is just unreal! I can't think about this story without laughing. How many things can go wrong on in one rendition of the Nation Anthem? It's bad enough to forget the words once, but it is unheard of to forget the words twice. Then to leave the rink to retrieve the lyrics only to fall on your ass on the way back and lay there on the ground is surreal. And after all that trouble, just to give up without either anthem being sung, while the crowd is booing you is too much to believe. It is just too much to believe.

7. The latest breaking story in MLB is that Lenny Dykstra used steroids during his playing career as well as betting on the Phillies while he was still playing. Hmm, I'm not quite sure why this is a big story? Isn't it obvious that Nails used steroids and was illegally gambling? I thought everybody knew this about Dykstra. Also, I'm not sure how worried Nails is about the fact that MLB is threatening to ban Dykstra for life from baseball if the gambling allegations are true. This is the equivalent of banning me from visiting Madagascar in the next 20 years.

8. I spent all of yesterday trying to figure out what the hell the City of Boston is doing with all my news racks. Apparently they are starting to enforce some blue law pertaining to news racks that I have no idea about. I was tipped off by a Stoolie who saw the DPW hauling away one of my racks from Haymarket. So this morning I took a trip to the dump in South Boston where they toss stolen racks. I was shocked to find 10 of my racks helplessly blowing in the wind craving attention. Worse, they had all been defaced with "green code stickers" from the City. Naturally nobody at the DPW has a clue what is going on. The closest thing I got to an answer was that the lady I needed to talk to wasn't in the office all week. Maybe the most frustrating thing about this whole fiasco is where the DPW is putting the "code violation stickers." For some reason they are planting them right on the front of the rack which basically ruins the thing. Anyway, I spent all morning trying to figure out where the missing racks were and peeling the stickers off the ones I found. I don't think I got them all. If the city is going to crack down on these boxes it's going to become even more important for me to make sure I'm in all the bars. Therefore, if you walk by any bars on a routine basis it would be greatly appreciated if you could drop a few copies of the Stool inside once a week or so. If the City of Boston and the Boston Sports Review want a war, we'll give ‘em a war. End of communication.

9. What is going on with Paula Abdul on American Idol? There are rumors flying everywhere that she has a drug problem and that she had an affair with a former contestant. At this point I'd pretty much believe anything that anybody has to say about Abdul. Her behavior is just ridiculous on American Idol. I understand that she liked Constantine, but she was crying like a little baby when he got the boot last night. And what was she doing with his grandmother? I never thought anybody could steal the thunder from Simon but Paula may have found a way to grab the spotlight with this new mentally insane routine she has seemingly perfected.

10. I was playing some Party Poker the other day and I have a question for all the addicts like me who play it all the time: am I the only one that gets pissed when people type stupid stuff in the comment box? I know it shouldn't bother me, but it does. I hate when people try to act like they are a direct descendent of Doyle Brunson during a game. Everybody is an expert. Nobody in the history of Party Poker has ever lost because they were outplayed. People only lose because of bad beats. And apparently these people didn't realize a bad beat was a possibility before the game started. They are so outraged by their misfortune that they have to let everybody know just how unlucky they were by typing stupid little comments in the comment box. I know none of this should bother me, but it drives me nuts. There isn't a day that goes by on Party Poker where a pimple faced teenager from Belgium isn't getting under my skin.

11. It doesn't look like the Red Sox vs. Devil Ray's bad blood is going to settle down anytime soon. Lou Piniella is irate at Curt Schilling after Schilling went on WEEI and made the following comments:
“The problem is when you're playing a team with a manager who somehow forgot how the game is played, there's problems. This should have been over a little bit ago. Lou's trying to make his team be a bunch of tough guys, and the telling sign is when the players on that team are saying, 'This is why we lose 100 games a year, because this idiot makes us do stuff like this.' They [Rays players] said that on the field."

Piniella called a team meeting before Wednesday night's game at Toronto and issued a statement ripping Schilling. "Forget how the game is played? I have forgotten more baseball than this guy knows," Piniella said. "On the idiot subject, I'm appalled he would actually say something like that. I had a meeting with my team and to a man they denied it. He's questioning my character and integrity and that is wrong. He's never played for me, never really spoken to me, so he really doesn't know what I stand for.”

I'm not sure why Curt felt the need to say this on the radio other than it is just Curt being Curt and he loves to hear his own voice. I believe Schilling that some Devil Ray player probably said something negative about Piniella, but it's asinine to think Lou is the reason they lose 100 games. Schilling has to know this right? Piniella is actually the only reason this franchise is getting better. As far as the D-Rays denying "to a man" that they made those comments, well what else are they supposed to do? What would you say with that maniac Lou Piniella staring you in the face asking if you called him an idiot?

12. Apparently some big shots at ESPN have decided that the key to the stations’ future is to launch as many horrible TV programs involving pro athletes as humanly possible. The two latest shows that I've recently noticed is Teammates, which is like the Newlywed Game, only with teammates and a show about bowling. Naturally Stuart Scott is the host of Teammates. The weird thing about both these programs is that I didn't even know they existed until they were already on TV. Generally ESPN promotes the hell out of their new shows, but they didn't even bother with these. It's almost like they tried to sneak them in without people noticing. Not surprisingly both shows are just awful. The only saving grace is that Troy Brown seems to be in every new show that ESPN has to offer.

13. So Tom Cruise has bagged my girl Katie Holmes? I don't know what I feel about this one. Katie Holmes was previously my #2 favorite chick in America. (Kristin Kreux is #1) I feel like Tom Cruise is too old for Holmes. Maybe 7 years ago it would have been cool for a young actress to be dating the likes of Maverick, but not anymore. Also isn't Katie Holmes taller than Cruise? If you were a betting man how long would you say until these cats got intimate? I'm setting the over/under at 1 month. Is that crazy? Katie Holmes seems like such an innocent girl.

14. We've got another case of a teacher having unlawful sexual contact with a 17 year old female student during a tutoring session. Here's what makes this case special though: the teacher was a female. This is the first documented case of lesbian student-teacher misconduct.

Deborah A. Lepkowski, 44, of Brunswick was arrested Monday on a charge that addresses inappropriate conduct between a teacher and a student, said Mark Waltz, a Brunswick Police Department detective. "The reason we pursued this is that the incident violated a trust between a student and a teacher," said Waltz. "It's something we just can't tolerate." Lepkowski has been a science teacher at Morse for several years and has also served as the head field hockey and track coach. According to court documents in West Bath District Court, the victim told detectives that she told Lepkowski last spring that she had a "crush" on her, and that Lepkowski replied by saying nothing could ever happen between them. While at Lepkowski's house for a tutoring session in January, the student told Lepkowski that her romantic feelings had not faded, and that the teacher responded that she felt the same, court documents say. The next day the student returned to Lepkowski's home, where they embraced and licked each others' ears, according to the victim's written statement. Both were fully clothed. The student told detectives that she then felt nauseous and started shaking. Lepkowski then called the girl's mother, who picked her up and took her home. According to an affidavit, the incident was taken up by school officials two days later when three Morse High staff members reported it to school administrators.

I've got to admit that I feel bad for Lepkowski. From this story it seems like she was set up like a motherf-cker. The so called "victim" seems like she was the clear cut aggressor in this story. She kept coming on to Lepkowski until she finally got what she deserved and that was her ears licked. By the way is this how lesbian's kiss nowadays? The real losers in this whole incident are female field hockey players. The fact that Lepkowski was field hockey coach has to set back the "we're not all lesbians" movement by at least 10 years.

15. This random thought comes via Dan Kelly on our message board. Did anyone else catch the clip of Marv Albert during the playoff game last night? They showed Shaq's new thigh protecter and Steve Kerr commented that it looked like a girdle, then said, "I'd like to see it on you Marv." followed by possibly the most awkward silence in television history. Apparently Kerr forgot who he was talking to and tried to cover up quickly. It was hilarious.

16. For the past few seasons everybody has said the same thing about the Patriots. The one guy that they couldn’t afford to lose is Tom Brady. And for the past 4 years I’ve agreed. But not anymore. Now nobody is irreplaceable. That’s right folks, Doug Flutie is coming home! The 42-year-old former Natick High and Boston College star signed a one-year deal yesterday to rejoin the Patriots as a backup quarterback to Tom Brady. Listen, I’d never wish any harm on Tom Brady. But it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if Brady tweaked an ankle next year and had to miss one game. This would give me one last opportunity to see Flutie fake a dive up the middle on 4th and goal and scramble around the end for a TD. And you’d know the Pats would win the game in dramatic fashion because Doug Flutie always wins. It doesn’t matter whether it is the Miracle in Miami, or catching 4 foul balls in four straight games this guy just plays big. As much as I love Tom Brady, it’s just different with Flutie. Don’t get me wrong I’ll still vote for Brady for Congress, but I think it’s impossible to ever like modern day players as much as the guys who you watched growing up as a kid. I think Flutie is pretty much the last dinosaur still playing sports who was a childhood idol of mine. Well Clemens too, but I hate his guts now.

Reader Email

Email #1

El Pres - Great Top 10 Nintendo list! I'd like to shed some light on why I would start a medium sized player in the old ice hockey game. Your strategy was 3 fat guys and 1 skinny guy. Mine was 2 fatties, 1 skinny, and 1 medium...the reason being that I always felt that if I loaded up on fat dudes, I was in trouble on defense because they were too freakin' slow. The token medium guy gave a little bit of balance and could push over a skinny guy and steal the puck from him....the fat guys couldn't really catch a skinny guy. Man...I love those fights, too...you just run into each other a few times and a huge fight breaks out and all of a sudden someone goes flying out of the pile and then dives right back in. That game was endless fun.

-Scott

I stand by the medium guy being useless. The rink wasn't that big so there was always a fat guy around to play defense. Furthermore in order for a medium or skinny guy to get any type of velocity on a shot they needed to hold the button down for ten minutes which afforded the fat guy time to come and knock him on his ass.