Random Thoughts
1. Phillynews.com- The mood at Cheerleaders Gentleman's Club abruptly changed from amorous fun to unexpected horror last night. Police were called to the topless bar - a sports-theme establishment nestled in a quiet South Philly shopping center - about 9:30 p.m. A patron had accidentally shot himself in the head, splattering a bare-chested dancer with his blood.
Investigators said it appeared that the unidentified middle-aged man was somehow carrying his firearm improperly, which might have caused it to discharge while he was sitting inside the topless bar.
Not good. Frankly I’m surprised that you’re allowed to bring guns into a strip club. It just seems like something that shouldn’t be allowed. But more importantly, I’m against topless bars in general. I think all strip clubs should be totally naked and full contact or they shouldn’t exist at all. In fact, if I run for President this may be my platform. And I’ll use this example in a campaign commercial. “Statistics show that more people get shot in the face at topless only bars than full nudity and full contact bars. Vote For El Pres.”
2. DECEMBER 7--Along with a sweeping management reorganization and shrinking stock price, Yahoo! also has to contend with a lawsuit filed against it by the gridiron's golden boy, New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, who claims that the online giant improperly used his image to promote its fantasy football game
Listen, I know a thing or two about getting sued. And I’m shocked Yahoo could be so stupid. You think you’re going to get away with using an image of Tom Brady without his consent and not get sued? Brady sues everybody. He’s sued Buick, Yahoo and probably a couple other places we don’t know about. Honestly how stupid can you be? Even I know that you can’t publish a celebrity’s picture in a magazine without express written consent. That’s why when I wrote my Porn Wish List, I called every chick on there and asked them if it was okay if I published their picture along with a little blurb on why I’d like to see them in a porno. We’ve always practiced the better safe than sorry approach at the Stool.
3. I feel like every single day we get one of two stories about the MBTA. We either get a story about how they are raising their rates because they have so much debt or we get a story about them doing some silly promotion in which they are throwing money out the window. Some would say that these two things go hand in hand. Well today on Bostonherald.com there is a story about how “an East Boston woman bought the last token ever to be sold by the MBTA, officially ending an 80-year-old tradition and commencing the era of the automated CharlieCard.
“You’re part of history,” a smiling MBTA general manager Dan Grabauskas told Rubiela Velez, 47, who walked away from the exchange with a certificate and a CharlieCard stocked with $ 100 in value. “Thank you very much,” she said shyly, before boarding a train to Lechemere to go Christmas shopping.
Here we go again. Do you really need to give this lady a free $100.00 CharlieCard? They probably threw in a bunch of Dunkin Donut gift certificates as well. Let me put it this way; I’m always complaining about how the Stool has no money and hence you’re never going to catch me giving away free stuff like Barstool hats. It just makes no sense. If you have no money stop giving free shit away.
4. Last week was the season finale of Heroes. Although I’m not really sure you can call it the season finale since it’s coming back at the end of January. Regardless, it was awesome. Let me just say this about Heroes. If you haven’t been watching it I feel bad for you. It is awesome. The only reason I haven’t been blogging about it on a weekly basis is because we had bowling on Monday Nights so I usually didn’t get to watch it until later in the week. But I was finally home last night and got to watch it on the right night. I think Heroes has replaced 24 as my favorite television drama. I mean I freaking love it. Here are some of my thoughts and questions from last night and the first season in general. First of all, is Claire’s father a good guy or a bad guy? I still don’t have a clue. I kind of still think he’s bad, but I’m not sure why I feel that way. I think it’s because of his glasses. The just look like bad guy glasses to me. Second, Is Nathan going to bang Claire? I think they kind of gave each other the f-ck me eyes in last night’s episode. Third, is Parkman going to bang his blond partner? I vote yes on that one. Also, how about the black guy finally talking at the end? I didn’t see that one coming. And speaking of things I didn’t see coming, I fully expected the mind reading chick to kill Skyler. Kudos to Skyler for that sudden change in momentum. He is turning into one hell of a bad guy. I wonder if he’s going to be the only villain in the show? I haven’t ruled out Habib Marwan playing a factor in this thing before it’s all said and done. Finally, how does Ali Larter (blond chick) fit in with anything? Is she just on the show to sex things up? I have no problem with that. There are just so many questions. That’s the only thing that kind of sucks about the show. You know that we’re going to be watching this thing for the next 9 years or so without really getting any answers to anything. I mean Jiro or whatever that guys’ name is looked like he was fighting dinosaurs in that latest painting. I’ve got to think we won’t see that come to fruition until 2045.
5. Nothing says big time college football like playing a service academy in the Meineke Car Care Bowl. For the 21st consecutive year, Boston College is going to a bowl game that absolutely no one cares about, not even the most super of Superfans.
Honestly, I feel bad for BC's athletic department. Somehow, someway they have to hype a matchup against Kaipo-Noa Kaheaku-Enhada and his Midshipmen and convince 10,000 people to buy tickets. But unless your son plays for BC, why would you spend hundreds of dollars to attend this game? So you can watch Navy run the ball every single down for 2.5 yards and then punt? Because that's all Navy is going to do. Navy ran the ball over 700 times this season and attempted a measly 100 passes. Kids in Pop Warner Challenger leagues throw more.
Maybe you'll be swayed by the chance to attend the Wachovia Kickoff Luncheon hosted by Gary Williams of WFNZ. Yes, THE Gary Williams of WFNZ. Tickets to the luncheon are just $65. Call (704) 295-1180. Call right now.
And since there's not a chance in hell that the Eagles will sell their allotment of tickets, BC will continue to be blackballed as a program that doesn't travel. Meaning that next season when the Eagles perform well again in the ACC their reward will be a second rate bowl that no BC fan will want to go near.
I think that BC's athletic department should get a mulligan for this matchup. If the BC athletic department somehow manages to sell over 2500 tickets to this game, it will be a Christmas miracle. But it's not going to happen.
6. I finally bought a Blackberry yesterday. It was kind of by choice and kind of not. The First Lady sabotaged me yesterday by putting my cell phone in the washing machine. And surprise, surprise it turns out that cell phones were not meant to get cleaned. Anyway, I’ve been debating getting a Blackberry for a long time now and figured this was as good a time as any. The reason I’ve always been hesitant to take the leap before is because I was afraid I’d never be able to figure it out. But you can’t live your life in fear so I said what the hell and bought it. But if I knew then what I know now about Blackberries I probably never would have bought it. What is going on with my cell phone ringer options? I figured I’d be able to compose my own symphony with a Blackberry, but as it turns out my old $49 phone had more ring tone options than this thing. And when I tried to go to the Verizon Wireless website to download a couple songs I found out it wasn’t even compatible. What the f-ck? Isn’t the Blackberry like the Rolls Royce of cell phones? How come I can’t get a good friggin ring tone like everybody else on planet earth? And I’m not signing up for one of those ring tone scam websites that charge you 10 bucks a month for 10 songs or some shit like that. I want one song and that’s it. Preferably, NFL Films “Autumn Wind”, but if I can’t have that I’ll settle for Brandy by Looking Glass or anything by Jimmy Buffett. Is that really so much to ask? Not to mention the fact that I think I keep hanging up on people with my face. Is that even possible?
As a side note, I think the salesman who sold it to me scammed me because I’m 99.9% sure he said I could open and edit attachments with a blackberry and I spent 3 hours trying to figure that feature out to no avail. Can you edit word docs with a Blackberry or do I just have sucker written on my face?
7. The BCS sucks. There is no other way to say it. The National Championship Game is a total sham this year. There is no way anybody can argue that Florida deserved to be in the National Title game over Michigan. I don’t care that Michigan didn’t win that conference. I don’t care that Michigan already lost to Ohio State. That has nothing to do with anything. The goal of the BCS is to have the two best teams play in the National Championship Game. And there is nobody who can honestly say that Florida is better than Michigan. In fact, Las Vegas said that if Michigan played Florida on a neutral field the Wolverines would be a six point favorite. You can’t argue with Vegas. But that’s not really the point here. Florida certainly would have had a gripe had Michigan landed in the National Title game. There is just no fair way to settle it. The only thing that bothered me was the smear campaign that CBS ran against Michigan to sway the vote to Florida. The ONLY reason Florida passed Michigan is because Gary Daniels (CBS Announcer) was sucking the Gators cock on National TV during the SEC Championship. He was basically bashing Michigan and saying people had to vote for Florida for the entire 2nd half. Not only was he doing this while the game was still in doubt, but he was doing it when the Gators looked like total dog shit against a team that literally can’t complete a forward pass. Is it a coincidence that Gary Daniels works for CBS and that CBS owns the right to the SEC conference? Of course not! You might as well have had Urban Meyer or the SEC President in the booth spewing the pro SEC propaganda. It’s just a shame that the BCS Title game was simply decided by who lobbied harder for their team. And ironically the reason we’re stuck with this stupid BCS system in the first place is because of the SEC. So I guess they got exactly what they wanted this year. They got their team to snake their way into the National Championship without having to beat a team that to a man everybody says is better than them. Now don’t get me wrong, Florida deserves the chance to show they belong, but they certainly don’t deserve it anymore than the Wolverines do and vice versa. That’s the whole freaking problem. And it just sucks that shady politics and shameless lobbying is what settles the National Championship nowadays. I wonder if Gary Daniels had to take a cold shower after the SEC Championship?
8. If you haven't been to the Park Street T-stop this week you're missing out on quite possibly the greatest street performer in the history of our time. It's a guy dressed as a pimp singing Sammy Davis Jr. songs. Oh, it’s true. It's very true. I know a lot people were huge fans of the "Guantanamera guy" but the problem was he only knew one song - "Guantanamera". So far the last 2 days I've heard "Sammy" belt out (with the help of background music and an applause track) such classic hits as "Singin' in the Rain", "Mr. Bojangles" and of course, "The Candy Man Cannnnnn". Also, the guy has some kind of trophy set up that looks like the Grey Cup with flashing neon lights and pictures of Sammy himself on the ground beneath his feet. Listen, nobody is ever happy waiting for the T. It's just impossible. But for the first time probably ever I saw 4 people actually smiling today, 2 of them cracking up hysterically, so you know he's onto something good. Did I mention he's dressed like a pimp??
Barstool recommends: Bum dressed up as Sammy Davis Jr. downstairs at the Park Street lounge.
9. A big news story last week is that a Killer Whale at Sea World San Diego attacked one of its trainers. Here is what happened according to MSNBC;
“The whale dragged a trainer underwater during a show at SeaWorld Adventure Park, breaking his foot. The show’s finale called for Kasatka (the whale) to shoot out of the water so Peters (the trainer) could dive off her nose. The whale is about 17 feet long and weighs well over 5,000 pounds. As several hundred spectators watched, the whale and trainer plunged underwater, where Kasatka grabbed Peters by the foot and held him for less than a minute before surfacing, Koontz said.“The trainer was being pinned by the whale at the bottom of the pool,” Karen Ingrande told KGTV-TV.
Okay let’s clear something up right away. If a killer whale “attacks” your ass you are going to die. You don’t get out of the pool with only a broken foot. I almost feel bad for the whale here. How would you like to be a killer whale and everybody is saying you attacked some weakling human and only broke his foot? I mean how could you look at any of your whale brothers in the eye any more? If Katsatka cares about his reputation, which I’m sure he does, he almost has no choice but to eat his trainer the next time he gets in the pool.
10. I saw this Dallas Clark story last week on Deadspin. Apparently Colts TE Dallas Clark is pissed about the Madden 07 commercial in which he gets “jacked up”. He recently told the Indystar the following;
"Everyone has told me about it,'' said Clark.. "I haven't seen the commercial, but I'm upset about it. It makes me look like a punk.'' "Everyone is talking about my face and my grunting and the noises I make,'' Clark said. "It sounds like I'm dying.
Dallas Clark is a little baby. He should just be happy people know who he is. Has someone told his stupid ass that this is a video game? I’ve never even heard of a guy getting upset at the way he is portrayed in single play of a video game commercial. It’s insanity. This just proves that the freaking Colts will complain about anything. They probably wrote a letter to the league office about the hit and want the rules changed for Maddens 08.
11. In case you’ve been living in a cave lately, Nomar has once again proved that he does everything better than mere mortal men. Yup, Mia Hamm is pregnant. And in typical Nomar fashion it wasn’t good enough for him just to impregnate Mia with one kid. Oh no, Mia is expecting twins. Vintage Nomar here. He’s using his god given ability to stretch a single into a double with a dazzling combination of power and speed. So do me a favor tonight and say a little prayer that the Garciaparra twins end up in a Red Sox uniform because everybody knows these two kids will probably be the greatest athletes the world has ever seen. That’s why Nomar made two of them.
12. I’ve been on a quest for the last decade to find a type of gum that is as good as Chewels. I’m sure everybody remembers Chewels. This was the gum that had the awesome gooey center in it. It flourished during the era of Lemon Heads and Alexander the Grapes. Then for some strange reason it disappeared from the gum market roughly 10 years ago. Rumor has it that you can still buy a pack of Chewles on the black market in China, but it’s nowhere to be found in the United States. Anyway, I’ve been trying to find a replacement for Chewels ever since it disappeared and I continued my quest yesterday by buying a pack of Trident Splash. Needless to say it was just another disappointment in a long line of disappointments. Enough is enough. It’s time to bring back Chewels. I’m sick of these knockoffs. I refuse to believe that Chewles couldn’t once again take over the gum market. And while we’re at it, let’s bring back Gator Gum which was the most potent gum ever invented and deserves its own thread altogether.
13. According to the Globe, Boston police will be doubling or even tripling their shifts during the holidays to battle the rampant wave of crime that has reduced the once popular Newbury Street area into a drug infested war zone.
Shoppers used to checking out the wares in the street's posh shops can now expect to run into guys named Marlo, Prop Joe, Bodie, Slim Charles and Omar who are locked in a fierce battle to gain control of Newbury Street's out of control drug trade. The New, as Newbury Street is now known locally, has been the scene of several failed attempts by local politicians and police to stem the growing crime and poverty which has crippled the Back Bay for several years. Mayor Thomas Menino has named police colonel Cedric Daniels, assistant state attorney Rhonda Pearlman, deputy commissioner of operations William Rawls, Howard "Bunny" Colvin and Professor David Parenti to a special task in an attempt to stem the bloodshed on Newbury Street.
In other local Boston news, a kid in Dorchester was killed when he walked outside.
Reader Email
Hey barstool,
To shed a little light on the subject of Tom O'Brien leaving BC, out of sheer and ridiculous coincidence, I overheard a conversation at a bar in Newton last night that was apparently between O'Brien's son and one of his friends. I was alone and visiting my friend who is a bartender at this particular bar so I really had nothing to do but sit there and wait for times when she wasn't busy to come and talk to me so I didn't have anything else going on or a discussion of my own that I was involved in. Anyway, I overheard someone behind me say something to the effect of "I can't believe your dad is leaving BC and going south" and at first I didn't pay any attention, but they were directly behind me and talking loud and kept making comments to the effect of this kid's dad being Tom O'Brien, especially when the story came on NESN, so I finally turned around to look and sure enough it was a tall, lanky, light-red headed kid. Apparently what happened was that O'Brien and DeFilippo have been in a rift for the past couple years, and Defilippo didn't even call to tell him what Bowl they'd been invited to this year. According to Junior O'Brien, they haven't even spoken in over three weeks and Senior O'Brien felt slighted by the fact that he wasn't offered a new contract or pay raise even though he was the winningest coach BC's ever had. To be honest, the kid sounded pretty pissed.
Obviously this can't be treated as fact, and is more a good bar story for me to tell my other BC friends than actual journalism, but I thought I'd share it with the stool and you can treat it as an inside track type rumor, although I'm convinced of its authenticity.
mdf67
Well not to defend DeFilippo or anything, but he does have better things to worry about than telling Tom O'Brien what Bowl game they are in. Like scheduling the logistics of a field hockey trip to Miami.