Lou Holtz Pep Talk for the Red Sox
(As many of you know, ex-Notre Dame coach Lou Holtz has been giving strange, sometimes indecipherable pep talks to different college football teams each week on ESPN. Today, Lou changes things up a little and delivers a pep talk to the Boston Red Sox as they embark on their quest for another World Series title.)
Lou: “The Red Sox host the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim on Wednesday in Game 1 of a best of 5 American League Division Series. This is what I would say to the Red Sox just prior to them taking the field vs. the Angels.
Men, we’re a better baseball team than the Houston Astros. I know we’re not playing them, but we’re still better. In fact, I can name a whole lot of teams we’re better than. We’re better than the Royals, we’re better than the Blue Jays, we’re better than the Cardinals and we’re better than the White Sox. We’re better than every single team in the entire Major Leagues. Why? Well there’s a statistic that not a lot of people talk about in this day of OPS, GPS and OPB and its called Wins.
Men, we’ve got more Wins than any other team in Major League Baseball. Heck, why the hell do you suit up the cleats to begin with? To get on base? No, to win games, and we’ve done that more any other team – including the Angels.
You wanna talk stats, everybody wants to talk stats, well let’s talk stats. Not only do we have more wins than these guys but we have more runs scored, a higher OBP, higher slugging, more homeruns, better E.R.A. Men, you don’t need to be a “Top 8” MySpace friend of Bill James to know we’re better than this team.
Now I know we didn’t finish out the season like we wanted. We sat on a huge lead and almost let it slip away. But we’ve all driven a car before. How many times do we ever refill the tank before it gets to E? We don’t. We wait until the last possible minute, pray to God we don’t run out of gas and pull over in a cold sweat off the highway. But the point is we made it to the gas station. We filled up the tank, changed the oil and even won a few bucks on a scratch ticket. Then we bought 2 more scratch tickets and lost it all back. But the point is we filled up the tank.
Now the Angels haven’t played a meaningful game in a month. They’ve been sitting around reading Barstool Sports the last few weeks wondering how they kidnapped the Rally Monkey for a carnival. I like monkeys, always have. I brought one in to motivate my Notre Dame team before the ‘91 season and he urinated all over Touchdown Jesus. Nobody knows that but it’s a true story. Damn thing climbed up the statue and just started pissing like a little kid in a pool. The new recruits thought it was holy water so we just went along with the story.
Men, the fact is we can’t let the last month when we were playing without our cleanup hitter affect our confidence going into this series. Imagine if the Angels were playing without Guerrero, the Yankees without Arod or the Mets without, whoops. Bad example. But any team who plays a month without their cleanup hitter and still ends up with the best record in baseball is a damn good team.
Now, once we get by the Angels it’s onto the Yankees. Believe me, I know a lot of Yankee fans and they still think 2004 was a fluke. They think we caught lightning in a bottle for 2 weeks and pulled a rabbit of our ass. Not Rabit the Barstool mascot, an actual rabbit. But who cares what they have to say. We’re not playing the fans. True, we’re playing a team who just beat us 2 out of 3 at Fenway and swept us in New York last month, but none of that matters anymore. Remember men, today is the most important day of your life. Then tomorrow when IT becomes the most important day except yesterday which is still today because tomorrow hasn’t happened.
Men, the challenge you’re about to face is the greatest challenge you’ve ever faced since your wife asked you what you were doing at Game On! till 4 in the morning last Friday. Of course you weren’t playing trivia but as long as she believes it you’re okay with the Lord.
Remember this, these Fenway fans, most of whom were privately shitting themselves when the Yankees cut the lead to 1.5, are going to be as fired up as ever. They haven’t seen a Red Sox team win the ALCS at home since ’86 and obviously have never seen a World Series in person. There's nothing like winning it all on your home field so let's put this advantage to use.
Men, it’s time to play. We were the best team in April, we were the best team in May, not so much July and August, but we're the best team now and that's all that matters. Men, I think you can do it, Menino thinks you can do it, Dane Cook thinks you can do it. Just remember, it's not the size of the dog in the fight but the size of the ring they're fighting in, and there's no 'I' in teamwork but there is a 'Mr. T'. Now let’s go.”