Lindsay at 21
It was 1998. A young Lindsay Lohan was featured in a crummy Disney remake of "The Parent Trap." The cute redhead makes her movie debut and no one has any idea what has begun. Quite possibly the single most obsessed about entertainment figure of the 21st century lands her first starring role.
Then for a few years, not much happens...Lindsay makes a few appearances in made for TV films as a daughter of a washed up blah blah blah...
Fast forward to 2003: Lindsay, once again on board with Disney, stars with Jamie Lee Curtis in another remake. "Freaky Friday" is released and the world gets a glimpse of a teenage redhead that has developed from that little girl in the twins movie...A few heads turned, noticed that "wow she could be hot." Most still have no idea what is in store...
A year later and we have "Mean Girls."
Lindsay sheds the Disney label in favor of a teen comedy written by SNL's Tina Fey...We discover that Lindsay has grown (or bought) some breasts. Her hotness outshines her costars (as well as Megan Fox in Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen that same year) and lands her a roll on Saturday Night Live:
BAM! Lindsay hits the national consciousness...
"Holy crap! Did you see that chick Lindsay Lohan on SNL last night?" Suddenly people are searching the web for still shots of Lindsay's amazing rack. So shocking was her display of flesh that even more tune in to the 2004 MTV Awards to see Lindsay host:
Ladies and gentlemen we have a star...Suddenly those funbags are not only on display, but they are in motion. Her stock soars and the paparazzi takes notice...
WHAM! WE HAVE PUFFIES! Yep, the term puffies becomes a household word when photos of Lindsay's nipple hit the Internet. Forget that she's well underage, the shots become such a big story both CNN and Fox report on it. The number of cameras following her every move quadruples and as a result we get:
Lindsay and her agent get tired of giving it up for free so they get her on the cover of some national magazines, where some air brushing can also benefit:
At this point Lindsay is a megastar. Her jail bait body and cans have put her on the top of hotness lists in FHM, Maxim and other pseudo-men's magazines. The news naturally goes to Lindsay's head, and with a father in jail and an absent mother, the booze, late nights and eventually coke enters the picture.
Suddenly the hot piece of ass that every American male wants to get their hands on turns into this:
Lindsay is dead, Mrs. Boney McWhere'dhertitsgo is her replacement.
Fans and boners are shocked to see what has become of our top-heavy dream girl...For the most part the boobs are gone, the ass is gone and there appears to be no hope in sight. Nights out with Paris Hilton only confirm our fears, though there is a glimmer of hope that we'll get a sex tape out of the deal...
Thankfully the paparazzi doesn't give up on her and we get almost daily side boob shots and every now and then a nipple appears...
Lindsay flirts with re-hab, bouncing in and out, while the weight goes up and down...A smattering of bizarre photo shoots and party stories make her a national joke (as well as a Barstool joke):
What does the future hold for Lindsay? Well no one is really sure, but this stripper movie appears to he a good start:
Well that pretty much brings us up to speed...Oh yeah, she turns 21 today. So happy birthday baby. Let's all hope she rips it up tonight. So we can do what we've enjoyed doing for the past four years, logging on to see what those cans have been up to...