How Dumb am I?
Reviewing a Year of My Ridiculous Predications, Idiotic Guarantees and Simply Abysmal Writing
How Dumb am I? Reviewing a Year of My Ridiculous Predications, Idiotic Guarantees and Simply Abysmal Writing
With 2006 looming, it makes sense for people to reflect back on 2005, remembering the highs and lows, and here at Barstool, we’re no different. This time last year we were just another Boston biweekly struggling to survive. Now- we’re a Boston biweekly struggling to survive but our cover girls are wearing less. Obviously, it’s been a banner year for the Stool.
On an individual level, I took time during the Patriots’ castration of the Jets on Monday Night Football to look back on what I’ve written over the past 52-weeks. I wanted to see how my opinions, predictions and outrageous claims had held up. This is what I found out.
2/23/05- I was swayed by the Superfans- After attending the BC-Syracuse hoops’ game at Conte, I was reborn as a Superfan and ready to jump on the Eagles’ bandwagon. I wrote “The Eagles are a legitimate national championship contender, and next year, BC will be in the hunt for the ACC title.” I should have thought a little bit more about what I wrote just a few paragraphs later in regards to what the Eagles needed to avoid- “don’t get in a track meet”- before I ordered up my Nate Doornekamp authentic jersey.
4/6/05- I pissed off a lot of Bostonians- I wrote an article detailing why Boston was a second-rate city. It was not well-received. I can admit now that my heart was never really in it. I wrote the article after I had purchased my fiancé’s engagement ring. There is something about dropping thousands of dollars for an engagement ring that knocks even the most stable of guys for a loop. I don’t think Boston is a second-rate city but I’m not convinced that it’s world class either. Can you be world class when every major business is fleeing the state as fast as Casey & Hayes can clean out their offices?
5/4/05- I wrote a miserable sentence- In my Barstool Graduation speech, I wrote the following: “You’re balancing on a precipice between the onrushing realities of the adult world and soothing memory of your college life.” That sucks. It’s just an awful sentence.
5/18/05- I didn’t know what MFS stood for- My friend Jeff and I went to the premiere of Star Wars courtesy of MFS. At the time, I didn’t know what MFS stood for but was still nice enough to thank them for shelling out $500 for my ticket. I have just Googled MFS and apparently MFS stands for… after checking out there website I’m still not sure but I learned that MFS is the 11th largest US mutual fund manager, it has over 2300 employees worldwide and it vigorously guards what the initials MFS stand for.
6/1/05- I chickened out on Tom Brady- In my ranking of Boston’s Top 35 All-Time Athletes, I put Brady on Tier 1½ , right below the Big Four of Williams, Bird, Orr and Russell. That was just plain chickenshit- and after another ridiculous season, Brady is officially on Tier 1 and I’ll say right now that Brady has a very good chance to go down as Boston’s greatest ever professional athlete. Besides Brady, I had a few other dubious selections. Nomar Garciaparra at #29 looks way too high now. Reggie Lewis at #34- too sentimental, I ignored the fact that Lewis’ career was fairly short and that he was never a dominant player. Tedy Bruschi deserves a boost from #23. And I didn’t include a few guys who probably could muscle their way onto the list. Ty Law was a great player for the Pats and Richard Seymour is on his way to the Hall of Fame. Both could make the list. Paul Pierce, even with all his baggage, is still a perennial All-Star and a remarkable talent- he’s better than Lewis. Manny Ramirez has done more than enough to warrant inclusion and Big Papi can’t be left off.
6/29/05- I buried the Yankees way too early- It was probably a little premature to have written “the days of the Sox/Yankees battling tooth and nail over the American League East are over,” and “the Yankees will struggle to make the playoffs as the wild card.” May have got a bit too excited about the Sox’s hot start and the Yank’s early season struggles. Looks like the Yankees are going to win the division again next year. Sweet.
10/15/05- I believed in the Sox way too long- I managed to convince myself that the dysfunctional Red Sox team that limped into the playoffs could repeat as World Champs. I wrote that the Red Sox’s trio of Curt Schilling, David Wells and Tim Wakefield were better than any other threesome in the American League. I followed up that genius statement by ripping on the White Sox, saying in effect that if Jose Contreras was the best the White Sox had then the Red Sox had nothing to worry about. I’m just going to back away from that statement very, very slowly.
10/19/05- I correctly called the Pats’ playoff fates very early- In an article titled “Reserve Your Pats’ Playoff Tickets Now,” I finally made a good call and highlighted why the Pats would right the ship and be right back in the Super Bow hunt by the end of the season. I correctly said that the Pats would have the division wrapped up by Week 14 and look pretty smart for writing this “The Pats should roll into the playoffs exactly where they left off last season- as the best team in the NFL.” I feel very good about that statement.
11/2/05- I wasn’t fooled by Lucchino- Theo’s resignation. Uggh. It just gets worse. But since Barstool has yet to be folded into the New York Times, I wasn’t worried about getting pink-slipped for bemoaning the coup d’etat by Lucchino. “The elevation of Lucchino puts the Red Sox’s immediate future in immediate jeopardy.” Looks like I connected on that one. Unfortunately.
Jamie Chisholm