Gong Show U
Gongshow U.
Mike Greeley & Joe Pearce
So we’re back at school for second semester, and things are looking good. Being home was fun for a while, hanging with the family and seeing our buddies, but we were all excited to get back into the gongshow.
Coming back from winter break is great, but it also carries some major baggage. For the first week back, we have to deal with “the convo.” Everyone knows how it goes:
Kid #1-“Hey, there he is.” (you say “there he is,” or “hey big guy,” or “hey buddy,” because you can’t remember the acquaintance’s name)
Kid #2 “Hey Mike, what’s up?”
Kid #1: “Not much, how was your break?”
Kid #2: “Good, how was yours?”
Kid #1: “It was good.”
This is when it goes downhill. Both people nod and smile, knowing that there is nothing else to say. But this classic back-from-break conversation is a major social trap, and there is no way out. Whoever takes the initiative will break the awkwardness with the standard “Yeah, it was good to see my high school buddies, really relaxing.” Now the once passing conversation has become a full-out stop-and-talk conversation, and it is just brutal. This happens a minimum of ten times a day during the first week back, and intermittently throughout the first month of the semester. Ways to avoid “the convo” include walking fast with your head down, wearing an iPod and ignoring everyone, or not returning to school.
There are also some good things that come with returning to school. Just as pork is the “other white meat,” at college we have the “other freshman girls”- junior vixens who were studying abroad first semester and are back on campus in January. They are tan, healthy, and eager to get back into the scene. This new group injects a breath of fresh air into campus life, and it’s good to see the familiar faces again. Like finding a five dollar bill in the pocket of your old Bruins Starter jacket, this new influx of returning students is a pleasant surprise and the hypothetical Viagra for the second semester social scene. Going abroad allows juniors to experience the international gongshow, often in locales with warm weather and great nightlife. With options like Sydney and Madrid, the semester abroad can essentially be an elongated spring break. They come back cultured and ready to take campus by storm.
Another good thing about the winter semester is beer league hockey. We started a team at BC, the Has Beens Hockey Club, and it has evolved into a championship squad and a social institution. We are also part of a growing trend in modern sports. It started with studs like Lebron James and Sidney Crosby- dominant young athletes who decided to forego a college education and instead go straight to the professional ranks. We have taken this trend to the next level. Research is showing growing numbers of young athletes not only passing up on college sports, but also skipping professional sports to get right into the real glory- adult recreational sports. With every changing season, men across the country get together at softball diamonds, soccer fields, and hockey rinks to recapture their glory days in true Uncle Rico fashion. At BC and hundreds of other colleges, intramural sports are as much a part of the school as are varsity athletics. Unhindered by the tyrannical NCAA regulations, intramural athletes are free to do whatever they want to excel in their sport- whether it be flag football heroes getting on the juice in their quest for an intramural mug, softball players pre-gaming at Roggie’s Happy Hour, or hockey teams replenishing crucial electro(Busch)lytes in the shower following a late-night tilt. The camaraderie of being on a competitive team and emptying the tank with your fellow warriors is an essential part of life, and intramural sports keep the dream alive. BC’s intramurals are wildly popular with students and every league schedule is filled with team names like “Just the Tip”, “Scotty Doesn’t Know”, “The Danglers,” “Puck U,” “Has Beens,” and “Boozehounds.” Although playing in one of these leagues officially acknowledges your personal release of “the dream,” it is very much just a continuation of the dream for the thousands of high school heroes on campus.
Coming back to school also reminds us of the ever-present campus fashion trends. The iPod has become color-television of 2005-2006. If you don’t have one, there must be a good reason. It’s not money- a homeless man was recently seen sleeping in the Cleveland Circle ATM, wrapped in a smelly moving blanket and sporting the signature white earbuds of the Apple iPod. The iPod phenomenon transcends all racial, religious, and social divisions. But despite their obvious popularity, iPods could be the most anti-social product around. They are the horse-blinders of college campuses. Before we had our iPods, a five minute walk to class would undoubtedly include dozens of social interactions with friends and acquaintances. Passing eye-contact mandated a quick hello, while there was always the worse threat of walking next to a casual acquaintance for an awkwardly long distance. In this situation, often in the early morning, we were obligated to make small talk and pointless conversation (think back to “the convo”). The iPod revolutionized and expedited the cross-campus walk. Now we can insert our stylish white earbuds before even getting on the dorm elevator. With the iPod in, your grandmother could be in the elevator with you and you would be excused from even a friendly nod. We can walk from our dorm to class, keep our head down, and because of the iPod we are automatically exempt from all immediate social obligations. The anti-social nature of the iPod is at times a godsend- (long, painfully awkward elevator rides, etc.), but it is also slowly taking away from the usually friendly atmosphere on college campuses. Hopefully in the spring, kids will unplug for a while and redevelop their conversational skills and social abilities.
Not owning an iPod not only leaves you obligated to interact with live human beings on a daily basis, but it also leaves you outside of the majority of college students. Back in our disadvantaged, iPod-free days, we contemplated purchasing just the white earbuds from the Apple Store, and no iPod. When tucked into a pants pocket or backpack, the white wire feigns the existence of an actual prized iPod, making you instantly cool and up to date on the latest tech trends. Nobody would ever actually know that we were listening to a Kris Kross cassette tape in our hidden (but at one time, cool) Sony Walkman. How the times have changed.
In the next issue, we will touch on “The Facebook” phenomenon- the biggest thing to happen to the collegiate social process since instant messaging and cell phones. We will also explore the rapidly expanding habitat of cougars (older women seeking younger men) into college towns across the nation. Until then, keep your iPod on and try your best to avoid any unplanned, unwanted, face-to-face social activity.