From Her Perspective

By Kati Cawley
feedback@barstoolsports.com

So you went out this weekend, and you met a girl. She’s cute. At least, you think you remember she was cute. At any rate, at the end of the night, after the beers have been slurped, the jokes have been slurred, and the cab has dropped you safely at your apartment, it’s on. Her number is sitting there in your hot little hand. Your next steps are crucial. One wrong move, and you’re screwed. Or not. The game is officially on.

You may think that calling isn’t your responsibility, that the girl should carry some of the weight. Nope, you’re wrong. You may think you want a girl to call you, but if she does, chances are you’re not going to go for it because, despite what you say, you like the challenge. If she comes to you too easily, you’re going to lose interest. Besides, it’s just sitting there, probably in your phone snugly between Sully and Steiner, taunting you. What are you going to do?

Girls base a lot of whether or not they are going to go out with you on how long you wait before you call. Too soon? Pathetic. Wait too long? Too bad, missed your chance. Here are some guidelines that may come in handy the next time you’re in the ever-so-nerve-wracking position of giving a girl a call:

The same night: Unless you are only interested in a booty call, and you think she is as drunk as you are, hold off. Otherwise, she’s just going to keep the message and play it to her girlfriends the next day and laugh about what dumb things you said.

One day: Hold off. It looks like you’re desperate. Make her sweat a little, let her think about you for a little while. Girls remember the good stuff and not the bad, so give her a little time to forget about how you snarfed your Jack up your nose and had toilet paper clinging to your shoe for three hours before you finally noticed it was there. Let her instead focus on how funny you were or how cute you looked in your little Oxford shirt.

Two days: If you two had an awesome connection and you are really interested in a girl, you can probably call her after two days with little consequence. She’s probably excited to hear from you, too, in this situation. If you’re not, though, hold out a little longer. You want to pique her interest, and, surprise surprise, a little withholding will do just that. Give her something to overanalyze just a little bit longer.

Three days: In my opinion, the perfect amount of time to wait. It shows the girl that you are interested, but not overeager. You want to talk to her and maybe even meet up with her, but you have your own thing going on as well.

Four days: You’re still in the clear. You don’t want to wait too much longer, if you’re interested, but at this point she has probably taken the self-protecting step of either getting rid of your number if she has it. She doesn’t want to be disappointed.

Five days: Cutting it extremely close. She doesn’t think you’re going to call her and if you do, it’s going to be a big surprise.

Six days: She has written you off. Depending on who she is and who you are, she may still want to meet you. But if she was interested in you, she may be hesitant because waiting this long to call makes her feel like you’re not interested in her.

Seven days or more: When a guy takes more than a week to call, it shows that you are not really thinking about her. Yes, it’s good to have other stuff going on, but if you wait so long, it shows she wasn’t at all a priority. Girls generally don’t like to be ignored, or be made to feel like they’re not that important. So if you feel that you must wait this long, you’d better be awesome the next time you two meet up.

Nobody said this was easy. Nobody said this part was fun. This part is the worst. But if you play it right, it’s not only relatively painless, it can help you make a good first impression. Well, second. But do you really want to count your intoxicated, albeit heartfelt rendition of “Easy Lover”? Yeah, didn’t think so. Be sweet, be funny, be charming. And be on time. Don’t miss your chance.