From Her Perspective

In some respects St. Patrick’s Day is to Boston as Marti Gras is to New Orleans. Minus the beads, of course, and with a few shamrocks, green beer, and little green people with pointy ears added in. We have a parade attended by swarms of drunk people, who will then, for the remainder of the night, stumble in and out of any bar within crawling distance.

It’s also a good night to try your hand at scoring a date with a woman. Albeit probably a drunk woman, but that just gives you a good excuse to indulge in more Guinness. I mean, it’s only fair, right? Equal opportunity intoxication.
No matter the gender, it seems that we’re all more confident after we’ve had a drink or two [or three, or four, or…]. And it’s this confidence that you can use to help propel you into action. Confidence is key. Women love a confident man. Even if you’re not actually feeling confident, pretend. She won’t know until at least the third date.

Confidence or pseudo-confidence can be projected one of two ways. First, there’s the mysterious, cool guy in the corner, who sits, enjoys his beer and makes eye contact with the woman of interest but doesn’t approach her. The second is more direct — make eye contact with the woman of interest and then swagger over to her in a non-Deuce Bigelow kind of way.

Both approaches can work. They’ve both worked on me before, I’ll admit. The first invokes questions and a curiosity in the girl of interest. She’ll see you looking and wonder why you aren’t coming over. What are you thinking about? What’s your story? After another drink and with a little bit of that Irish luck, she’ll make her way over to you. Mission partially accomplished.
The second takes that confidence we were talking about before. You’re taking the initiative and leaving yourself vulnerable to rejection. Women appreciate this, even if they’re not interested. It takes guts and if she’s into you too, that will attract her all the more.

After direct contact has been achieved, you will begin what I like to call the “interview process” . You know, the barrage of questions men and women ask each other upon meeting — Name? Where do you live? What do you do? Single? Attached? Red Sox? Patriots?

(You have to wonder if it wouldn’t just be easier to pass out a questionnaire, have them fill it out and get back to you. Those women who hate baseball need not apply type stuff. This might be a project for the future.)

It goes without saying, really, that listening to the woman of interest’s answers is important. She wants to feel like you’re curious about her and who she is. And that you’re not just looking for a one-night thing or a friend with benefits arrangement. Again, pretending here could be required based upon what you want.

During the “interview process,” offer to buy her a drink if you see she’s either empty-handed or that she’s finished hers. Now you can figure out if she’s a beer kind of girl or a mixed-drink kind of girl. A beer girl is optimal but as long as she’s a fairly good-looking girl, I wouldn’t put too much stock into it. You might be able to introduce her to the joys of the sudsy beverage later on. There’s always hope.

If she’s with friends and introduces them to you, make nice. Friends are key determining factors for women when deciding who to date or who to give their number to. In most cases, you will need the friend’s approval. It certainly can’t hurt.

Ask the friend questions. When ordering drinks, ask the friend if she wants anything. It won’t be cheap, but it has about an 80 percent shot of being worth it in the end. You could also offer to either get their coats for them at the end of the night, or wait with the friend until the girl of interest gets their coats.

With the evening coming to a close its time to test the waters and see if she’d like to get together again, maybe for dinner or drinks. Then ask for the digits.

Mission finally accomplished. You can now go pass out in your bed. But seeing that phone number should make getting through work the next day with a massive hangover easier.