From Her Perspective

A guy friend of mine sometimes goes, what he terms, “Zoey hunting” (not sure why Zoey, I think it’s the name he envisions his future wife to have). Being a writer and an avid reader, he has concocted this fantasy of meeting his future wife at a bookstore. So, whenever he’s feeling like he wants to meet someone, he heads over to Barnes and Noble and browses the stacks — and the women, I suppose. Now, I have to interject here, he hasn’t actually met anyone at Barnes and Noble, but I’m still holding out hope for him.

I, myself, have recently decided that meeting someone at Starbucks could be fun, enhancing my enjoyment of people watching. But when you’re in your mid- to late-20s where do you meet people of the opposite sex who you would consider dating?

I’ve decided it’s at the places that we go to all the time, but aren’t paying enough attention because we aren’t thinking about meeting anyone.

So, if you’re wanting a little bit of variety or to make your weekly errands more exciting, here are my top 10 places other than the bar to meet women:

10. Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks — wherever you get your coffee in the morning, afternoon, evening, or if you’re me, all three of those times. Morning pick ups might be tricky because if you haven’t had your coffee yet, you might be a little cranky and not “on your game.” I suggest the afternoon pickup, your crankiness will have subsided and you’ll be looking forward to the end of the day.

The approach: Make eye contact, the whole fifth grade thing where you look away and look back at her, look away, look back at her. Eventually one of you will smile. Maybe start small talk about the service, the coffee, how tired you are, etc. If all goes well you’ll start chatting and then you can move in for the, “Hey, would you want to sit down and have a cup of coffee sometime…”

9. CVS or Walgreens — Women frequent these places because most of us are obsessed with products, of any kind. But since I’m sure you don’t see yourself hanging out in the makeup aisle, maybe it’s best to wait until she gets to the check out line.

The approach: This one is, granted, a little tricky. Again, the eye contact is key, but depending on what each of you is buying, you might feel a little funny if someone notices. Best to approach if said girl has a pack of cigarettes, a magazine or some other unassuming product, such as condoms or feminine products, in her hand. Otherwise it might be a little awkward, she’ll shoot you a strange look and it will be all over. On second thought, maybe we should scratch this one altogether.

8. Service Station — While you’re waiting to get your oil changed, for your inspection sticker or your brakes to be fixed, you could bond over your automotive woes. Maybe you could even give her some tips. One thing’s for certain, you’ll probably be dying to pass the time and talking to a cute chick sounds like the best option.

The approach: As you’re sitting in the waiting room, if there is a TV, you could make a comment about what’s on, talk politics, maybe chat about Regis Philban’s hair and then follow with, “What are you here for?” Very similar to the “Do you come here often” but some of us find cheesy lines like that entertaining and endearing in an Adam Sandler kind of way.

7. A bookstore — Think about it. Women are the largest demographic publishing companies market to. Bookstores are always filled and filled with women. It’s the perfect hunting ground.

The approach: Pretend you’re looking for a gift for your sister, female friend or your mom. Tell her you need some advice on what to get. After she’s helped you, because she probably will, glance over, if she has something in her hand ask her what she’s reading. Even if you don’t get her number, you might get a good gift idea out of it.

6. Newbury Comics or any music store — Music brings people together, right? You could introduce her to a hot new band and she’ll be grateful to you forever for tearing her away from “American Idol.”

The approach: She’s looking at a CD in the rock and pop section, you walk over, start flipping through the CDs a few rows away. Pick one up, glance over and say aloud something like, “These guys are great…ever heard them?” She probably won’t go running and screaming out the door, so take a chance and see what happens.

5. Dentist office — Again, you’ll be sitting, bored in a waiting room. At least you’ll know she has clean teeth.

The approach: Bond about how the dental hygienist is evil and makes your gums bleed because she just keeps poking with that hook! Pain can also bring people together.

4. Video store — Try going on a week day night after work. If all goes well, you could have a date for the upcoming weekend.

The approach: If she seems to be deciding over a movie, and hopefully you’ve seen it, tell her whether or not it sucked. If it is, in fact, a waste of her time, recommend another movie. Many women love any type of intellectual stimulation, or as you know, to talk.

3. Dry cleaners — Not much waiting time here probably, but keep on the lookout anyway. You never know.

The approach: If you’re lucky enough to run into a pretty, interesting woman at your dry cleaners, you could pretend its the first time you’ve been there and ask her how they are. It’s lame, but again, you just never know.
2. Grocery store — Apparently back in the day the Star Market in Porter Square was once a huge meeting place for singles in their 20s, so I’ve heard. Who knew it could be as simple as that.

The approach: For this I recommend watching “Ladder 49.” Yes, I know, it’s kind of a chick flick, but the part where the two firefighters pick up these women at the supermarket could offer an idea or two on an approach. Then you can turn it off. Lesson learned.

1. Laundry mat — This one is my favorite and reminds me of that movie “40 Days and 40 Nights.” If you don’t have laundry in your building and your parents don’t live near by, this could be the perfect place for you to meet someone. Or it could be the perfect place for you to meet the scariest person you ever saw in your entire life. Either way you’ll have a funny story to talk about the next time you go drinking with your buddies.

The approach: Again, you’re sitting, waiting, trying to pass the time…and so is she. So, just make small talk, ask her if you can borrow some fabric softener or something to read.

Most of these are a stab in the dark but I figure, as we get further and further away from college and less and less people at work who we haven’t tried to date at some point and didn’t work out, it’s our only chance at finding someone to pass the time with.

If any of these work for you, please let me know…and maybe mention where single men in their late 20s, early 30s spend their time. A girl can try, can’t she?