From Her Perspective

There are a million places to meet people.  I met my boyfriend at the bar he works at, basically following him around until he said he’d go home with me.  In fact, every relationship I’ve been in has begun in a bar.  I am very much okay with that.  Outside of the bar, however, I would think that it’s really hard for people to find that special someone that they want to show their private parts to.  I mean, I know that without a little lip gloss and a lot of Jack, I’m useless when it comes to meeting guys.  So how do people who are either non-lushes or just a little bit shy meet that special someone?  It seems people have the best luck going online.  I have many friends that do this and have met tons of people – some great, some not-so-great.  We have pored over hundreds of single men and come up with a list of some dos and don’ts with regard to profiles, dates, and everything in between. 

It’s important for guys not to have a girly-sounding profile.  This means, don’t write a book.  Keep it short and sweet.  Don’t write your favorite color under “favorite things”, nobody cares.  Don’t put down how much money you make, it’s tacky and you’ll end up with money-grubbing hos instead of a nice girl.  If your female friends tell you you are cute all of the time, that’s great.  But don’t put it in the profile, it makes you look insecure.  Don’t say you work hard and play harder.  Because really, who doesn’t?  Don’t use ten thousand exclamation points, because that’s weird.  And come on, use spell check.  It’s the easiest thing ever.   Finally, it’s great that you love your niece, nephew, son, daughter, etc.  Really, it is.  But don’t harp on it.  Because everyone knows that the more you sing your praises about something, the less likely it is to be true. 

If you are ugly, I’m very sorry for you. But be honest about it.  Put a current picture up of yourself, don’t lie.  It will only make things worse when she sees you and vomits her Cosmo all over herself.  Because then she will go back and tell all of her friends.  And then it is certain you will see this girl again, when she is surrounded by her bitchiest friends and you are alone wearing some sort of t-shirt from college that used to fit but doesn’t quite anymore and it will be super uncomfortable and the second you leave they will make fun of you for three hours.  But if you are upfront about who you are physically, you can win her over with your great personality and she will be thinking about how much you made her laugh instead of how not-similar you looked to your pictures in real life.  And don’t put up a picture of yourself in a hat and sunglasses so nobody can tell what you look like.

And don’t post topless pictures of yourself.  It’s not sexy. 

Even though you may have traded emails and phone calls with this girl and think you have gotten to know her pretty well, you really haven’t.  You’ve never met her in person before and therefore it is important not to attempt too much familiarity with her.  You may have a great base on which to build something wonderful, but don’t rush it.  All of that relationship stuff will come in time.  But this is basically a blind date, with your common “acquaintance” being the computer instead of your coworker.  Take things slow, because even though you know her favorite bar and what kind of shampoo she uses, you’ve still got a long way to go, really.

Good for you that you are taking your fate into your own hands and actively searching out the girl of your dreams.  At the very least, you’ll probably meet some cool people and get some sort of ego-boost out of the whole thing.  Don’t be embarrassed, online dating is no big deal unless you make it out to be that way.  So don’t tell your friends that you met this girl waiting on line at the Glass Slipper (although I’m sure you could meet quality people there – I know I’ve made many friends in that very situation), don’t make up stupid lies and stories that your friends will figure out anyway.  Taking charge of your own happiness is something to be commended, not ashamed of.  I hope you get lucky and meet someone awesome.  If anyone deserves it, it’s you.  Good luck!