From Her Perspective

In the past, I have sung the praises of how awesome you guys are, and all of the cute things you guys do that make us girls go nuts.  That said, I know there are also more than a few things about us that drive you crazy and that you really appreciate.  Most are physical because, let’s face it, a good amount of the stuff you like about us has a little bit to do with the physical, but some are things that you probably don’t even think about over the course of the day that really are pretty cool about us…

We get Brazilians.  Well, not all of us get them.  But for those of you girls who don’t have them yet, do it.  It’s the best $60 you’ll ever spend.  It doesn’t hurt, really, and they last a while, and it feels unbelievable.  Guys who have experienced a Brazilian will tell you that there is nothing better. 

We will return stuff for you at the mall.  There is nothing more annoying than having to make a return.  It takes forever, you inevitably get stuck behind someone who is buying ten thousand things on sale and wants to fight the price of every single one, it’s too hot and you leave empty handed.  But if you can’t fit into that little button-down you bought last weekend because you’ve been hitting the keg too hard, we will go back for you and get rid of it so you never have to think about it again.  Pretty nice, really.

We take care of you when you are sick.  When guys are sick, they are worse than actual children.  Where does that tough exterior go?  Where’s the shame?  It all goes to the wayside when you have a sore throat or if you’re feeling a little nauseated.  But girls will treat you like the babies that you become and make sure that you’re not thirsty, that you took your medicine, that you have enough tissues.  If left to their own devices, guys will sit on a headache for three days before thinking about taking an Advil.

We wear cute underwear.  Ah, I remember the good old days, when I wore a size zero and my favorite thing in the world was kinky lingerie… the size zero days are of course long gone but the interest in underwear remains.  Guys are pretty much limited to boxers or boxer briefs (please, please, please tell me you stopped wearing tightie-whities when Underoos stopped being cool), which, don’t get me wrong, are pretty hot, but you can’t tell me that you don’t lose it JUST a little bit when a girl comes into the room wearing boy shorts and a cami or, even better, a g-string and push-up bra.  The stilettos are optional.

We are good with dates.  You know Opening Day.  You know your birthday.  Christmas, maybe.  But you don’t know your parents’ anniversary.  You probably don’t even know how old your sister is, let alone what day she was born.  But we do.  We can tell you when your great-aunt’s cat passed away so you can give her a call.  Sometimes, we’ll even buy the card.

We will sit in a different room with your best friend’s weird girlfriend so you guys can hang out.  You all have those friends who are dating girls that you don’t like.  Whether it’s her insistence on calling your buddy by a stupid nickname, talking about how fat she is, or just being an all-around bitch, we will take one for the team and listen to her drone on about how every guy at her job is in love with her or how she thinks people who drink are bad so you guys can have some alone time.

Yeah, yeah, girls are crazy.  We cling, we cry, we obsess over flaws nobody notices.  But when it comes down to it, you’d be pretty much nowhere without us.  Oh, yeah, and blow jobs.  Let’s not even get started on the blowjobs…