Foxwoods People

Foxwoods is the world’s biggest casino. And blackjack is its most popular game. Which means that the tables are always packed, all the time. It doesn’t matter when you head to the Reservation; you’re always guaranteed to see the same cast of characters plugging away at the tables. So, without further ado, here are the 10 people you’re guaranteed to run into while playing blackjack at Foxwoods.

1. Chain-Smoking Asian Guy Who Bets Big

Chain-smoking Asian Guy is one of the casino’s greatest enigmas. Not only does he never win, but he never goes broke either. Just when you think Chain Smoking Asian Guy is bankrupt, he breaks out another wad of 100 dollar bills and just continues to get destroyed. He is easily be spotted because he dresses like he is homeless and has a cigarette hanging out of his mouth at all times. It doesn’t matter whether you show up to Foxwoods at 7pm on a Friday Night or 3am on a Tuesday Morning; Chain Smoking Asian Guy can be found anytime. However, be forewarned- I’d be very wary of sitting down at a blackjack table with him because not only will he mush your table, but he also has no qualms about blowing smoke right in your face.

2. The young dude who think he’s a high roller

This guy is one of my favorites. “The Young Guy Who Thinks He’s A High Roller” may or may not be 21 years old. But one thing that is for sure is that before his trip to Foxwoods he probably watched a couple of casino movies and a few episodes of “Vegas”. “The Young Guy Who Thinks He’s A High Roller” can usually be spotted by the fact that he has his girlfriend with him who is dressed up like she’s going to the Roxy. And the girlfriend never gambles herself. Her role is just to watch the boyfriend as he tries to keep his composure at the $25 table.

3. Guy Who Gets Mad at the Dealer

I can never understand how people get legitimately pissed at the dealer when playing blackjack, but it does happen. The Guy Who Gets Mad At The Dealer honestly thinks in his heart of hearts that the dealer is out to get him. And he isn’t afraid to let the dealer know about it. It’s always awkward when you’re at a blackjack table and somebody is verbally abusing the dealer for not busting on a bust hand. The fact that dealer barely speaks English and is making minimum wage doesn’t seem to deter The Guy Who Gets Mad At The Dealer.

4. Rules Guy

When I play blackjack, I play by the book. And in an ideal world, I’d prefer to play at a table where everybody else is also playing by the rules. But if somebody wants to get crazy and hold on 16 vs. a face card, that’s their business. Unfortunately, not all people feel this way. You can bet your ass that there will be hell to pay whenever a novice screws up the deck when playing with a Rules Guy. The Rules Guy will bitch and moan for the next 30 hands about how the novice screwed up and cost him money. It doesn’t matter whether this hand occurred 3 hours ago and the deck has been shuffled 30 times. Everything always goes back to the hand when the novice took the dealer’s bust card. By the end of the night the rising gasoline prices are somehow related to the fact that the novice hit on 14 vs. a 6 three hours ago.

5. The Hindsight is 20/20 Guy

This guy is the deranged cousin of the rules guy in that he likes pointing out other people’s mistakes. The only problem is that these perceived “mistakes” aren’t always mistakes. The Hindsight is 20/20 Guy will get upset at other players’ decisions regardless of whether they played by the book or not. He’ll be quick to point out to you that you stole the dealer’s bust card when you hit on 13 vs. a face card. I’d also say that 75% of these idiots don’t speak fluent English. Therefore, they just point to your cards to illustrate their point which is especially infuriating. The Hindsight is 20/20 Guy is one of the few players in a casino that can make me leave a table, no questions asked.

6. The Hit and Run Guy

The Hit and Run Guy is the guy who jumps into a table mid-shoe with only one chip left to his name and promptly loses it and disappears into the CT night. He doesn’t even bother to sit down and often doesn’t even pay attention to the hand. It’s like being the victim of a bad hit and run accident. Nobody, and I mean nobody, can screw up the flow of a blackjack table like the Hit and Run Guy. Personally, he’s my least favorite guy in the casino and would be my first choice to get punched in the face. I simply hate him. I just think it’s a selfish move and shows no casino etiquette.

7. Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde

This guy is pretty self explanatory. This is the guy who is everybody’s best friend when the table is winning and everybody’s worst enemy when the table goes south. They’re quick to strike up conversation and seem to have a pleasant demeanor about them, but the second the table starts going sour watch out because they turn into the most miserable human being on earth. The negative energy that these guys bring to the table is enough to make you chips implode right before your eyes. Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde can also double as The Hindsight is 20/20 guy, The Rules Guy and The Guy Who Gets Mad at the Dealer.

8. The One Time Guy

The One Time Guy is famous for saying “one time” every time he takes a hit. It doesn’t matter whether the dealer has dealt him blackjack 83 straight times, the one time guy is always saying one time whenever he takes a card. And he always plays the pity card if he doesn’t get what he’s looking for. Another trait of The One Time Guy is that he likes to slap the table while saying “one time” just to let everybody know that he means business.

9. Momentum Changer

You can’t stop the Momentum Changer; you can only hope to contain him. This guy never does the same thing twice. He will change the size of his bet, the amount of hands he’s playing and his overall strategy based on the way the wind is blowing at that particular moment. This guy is the sworn enemy of the rules guy who likes to keep everything consistent on a hand to hand basis. The only guarantee you’ll get with the momentum changer is that he will complain constantly about how every time he increases his bet, he loses. But for some reason this doesn’t change the way he plays.

10. Match Play Coupon Guy

There is a select group of people in the United States who have rigged the US mail so that every match play coupon that Foxwoods sends to their customers gets rerouted to their front door. These people have an endless supply of Match Play coupons. While most people play with chips these people play with coupons. Personally, I think that Foxwoods should ban using match play coupons. It just seems unfair that I need to use cash while other people get to use worthless paper.

So there you have it. A high level overview on the ten types of people that you’re sure to run into at Foxwoods. And the beauty of this list is that you’ll run into them all within 5 seconds of arriving on the reservation.