Enemy Perspective

People are dumb. Dumb sheep, to be more specific. We like to follow the herd, because we don’t know any better.

We are also malicious. We like to bring down people who are better off than we are.

We’re like dumb, evil sheep.

I’m no psychologist, so I won’t get into why we’re like that. But there can be no argument that we are.

And the latest corral all of you sheep have been herded into (notice I dropped the “we”) is the “A-Rod is done, cracking under pressure, and should be traded” corral.

Dumb, evil sheep.

I can understand why Sox fans are jumping on this bandwagon against A-Rod. It’s in their best interest. And I get why the Omniscient National Media have been calling for his head—it generates readership and viewership.

The greatest baseball player of our generation, potentially of all time, might be washed up? How could you not talk about this?

Before I head down the path that the title of this article will send me down, I’d like to offer a simple retort to all of the A-Rod haters out there, the ones who have claimed he’s washed up, the ones who claim he can’t handle the pressure, the ones who have called for the Yanks to trade him, and even to my fellow Yanks fans who continue to boo him:

You are all fucking stupid. Shut the fuck up.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve heard some of the most intelligent people in baseball say some of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard. They’ve said A-Rod is not able to handle the unique pressure of New York. I’ve heard very sensible friends, whose opinions I respect, and some Yankees fans, talk about trading A-Rod. I’ve read Barstool’s own Jerry Thoroton, claim in his very humorous but incredibly misguided and gun-jumping article, that A-Rod has the “yips.”

I’m not going to argue A-Rod’s mental state right now. He’s not in the best mental shape. He is absolutely over-thinking his every action. Worst of all, he’s doubting himself.

Is that because he’s done? Does that mean he needs to leave NYC? Retire?

No. IT MEANS HE IS IN A SLUMP.

Listen. A-Rod had two bad weeks. Yes, he played awful during that stretch. He threw the ball like Knoblauch and hit like—well, he didn’t hit at all.

Every player goes through this, even the best ones. Manny comes out of the gate every year batting around the Mendoza line. Varitek is easily having the worst year of his career. Every single player goes through this. Every single one. And if the people who get paid to comment on this took a second to think about it, they’d realize they were jumping the gun.

Some slumps last a week. Some last all year. We call them “Down Years”. It happens.

Hell, even Roger Clemens went 10-13 in 1996, inspiring the exceptionally accurate prediction by Dan Duquette that the Rocket was “in the twilight of his career.”

You could probably argue that A-Rod is having a down year. I’m not sure I would. But he’s not done. He’s not washed up. He isn’t cracking under the pressure of NY. He shouldn’t be traded. Or retire. He doesn’t have the yips. He’s in a slump.

Here are the reasons why everyone who has suggested any of those other theories is an idiot:

1. A-Rod was the AL MVP last year.

Let me repeat that. He was the FUCKING MVP last year. Have we forgotten that? So yes, I agree completely, he couldn’t handle the pressure of New York. He only put up the best numbers in the league. This alone should end all discussions of A-Rod being “done.” Did I mention he WON THE MVP last year?

1. A-Rod was the AL Player of the Month in May.

.330 AVG, 8 HR, 28 RBI. Just in May. That’s May of 2006. This year. The best player in the AL in that month. Not only was he the MVP last year, he was the best player in the league as recently as two months ago. Clearly, he’s washed up.

1. If this is a “down year,” he’s still the best bat at third base in the AL.

Only Joe Crede, the White Sox third baseman, has numbers comparable in every statistical category to A-Rod. And to say Crede is having a career year is an understatement. I won’t go so far as to say Crede is on the juice, but Crede is probably on the juice. And while Mike Lowell is having a fantastic year, his numbers still don’t compare all-around to A-Rod’s. So if this is a down year, what third baseman in the league would you rather have? (If your answer is Lowell, then tell me why Theo had his name out there in about 10 trade scenarios before the deadline.)

1. He’s having a bad year defensively. But he doesn’t have the “yips.”

I’m a lifelong Yankees fan, which means I had the agony of living through the Chuck Knoblauch era. It’s impossible to describe how incredible that was. We literally saw a man brain’s melt on the field and drip out of his ears. I kept waiting for him to break down in tears on camera. I don’t think you’ve ever seen a collective fan base wince like we did every time the ball dribbled down to second base. It was horrifying, yet simultaneously entrancing, like a woman’s cleavage, the sun, or any reality TV show. You know you shouldn’t stare, but you can’t help it. Knoblauch was a mental disaster. A-Rod had two bad games defensively last week. Of course, the ignorant masses have only been seeing what SportsCenter has been showing them. They’ve seen all the errors. If you’ve watched a single Yankees game in its entirety since that week, you’d know his throws have been crisp and on target. That’s not what happens when you have the yips. I love SportsCenter, but like any gatekeeping news show, they show you what they want you to see.

1. 2,000, 450. In other words, you don’t trade a guy who is on pace to be the greatest player the game has ever seen.

During the week when he was in one of the worst slumps of his career, A-Rod also notched his 2,000^th hit and his 450^th home run on the same swing. You know by now he’s the youngest player to reach the 450-mark, at least until Pujols beats him in a few years. As a GM, Cashman couldn’t trade him. What excuse—other than a salary dump, which the Yankees don’t need and never do—could you possibly come up with for trading a guy with Alex’s numbers? When (not if) he returns to form after that trade, would you want to face the firing squad? As I’ve written many times, I believe A-Rod will be the greatest player in the history of the game when it’s all said and done. You don’t trade that talent. Period. And certainly not because he’s had a bad week, or even a bad month, or maybe a down year.

1. He only costs the Yankees $15 million—not $25 million. In other words, he’s a deal for club.

Everyone forgets the Rangers signed A-Rod to that ludicrous deal, not the Yankees. And everyone also forgets the Rangers are paying $10 million of A-Rod’s salary this year. (Texas is on the hook for $67 million of the remaining $179 A-Rod is owed.) When you look at it that way, he’s actually the fourth-highest-paid player on the Yankees, after Mr. Sanderson ($20M), Giambi ($20M), and Mussina ($19M). If this were any other team but the Yankees, all of those guys would be considered grossly overpaid. But this is the Yankees, so A-Rod is actually a deal for them. (Did I mention he won an MVP last year? Name me a team other than Oakland that wouldn’t pay $15 million for an MVP.) If you want to talk about a guy who isn’t earning his paycheck, talk to me about Randy Johnson ($15M).

1. Don’t listen to the booing at Yankee Stadium. Those people are morons.

Every fan base has a sect that is embarrassing. In Boston, most educated Sox fans are embarrassed by the ignorant masses who chant “Yankees Suck” at games… when the Patriots are playing. Those people are stupid, for obvious reasons. Yanks fans, we have the “boo-birds,” as they’re so gayingly called. (Is that a word, gayingly?) There’s a reason they call it a Bronx Cheer. These people would boo Jesus if he laid his hands on a leper and the guy didn’t get better. They’ve booed Jeter. They have booed DEREK JETER. Mr. Untouchable. Mr. November. The Captain. Pinstripe Jesus. Baby Ruth. The Face. The Franchise. The damn guy even has his own scent now. They booed Derek Jeter just because he was in—here it is—a slump a couple years ago. They also booed Rivera, the Best. Closer. Ever. They are fucking morons, and I cringe every time I hear them, the same way an intelligent Sox fan cringes when they hear “Yankees Suck.”

I could go on, but these columns do have word counts. I think that’s enough for now to shut everyone up.

And I know the talk on this topic has abated slightly with the Abreu trade and the deadline passing. It also helps that A-Rod is now pulling out of what was obviously just a slump, even if this does end up being a down year.

Believe me when I say that if the Yankees are going to win the World Series, it is A-Rod—not Jeter, Giambi, Abreu, or anyone else—that has to take the franchise back to the promised land.

I know he will do it—even if it is not this year. It’s only a matter of time.

You probably don’t think he will.

I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.